Beat up again!

[luckymom]

Beat up again!

Okay for those of you that have read my story titled “Psychic Source.” A couple weeks ago, I was so excited believing predictions were coming to fruition. I even made a post. My ex contacting me again through email...like Mandy said. Yes I was also told it was going to take time. A slow coming back…6 months Ricky said. Anyway, I was so happy making plans. But at the same time I was so afraid of getting hurt again.  I decided to confront my Ex. First he told me a lot of nasty staff, like he did not feel sympathy for a single mom like me, it was my choice to get pregnant of him. We have two kids together. He wrote, “you begged me,” to have our first son. I swear to GOD I never did, I thought we were both in love back then. Believe it or not all, my answer to him was “I love you, this whole time I have.” He is struggling financially, and yes I have been giving him money. The next day he wrote,  “I am not for you, we will never be the family you dream about.” “We both hurt each other, so you must moved on and meet someone new.” He went on, “someone that wants to be your husband and make sure you stop loving me, otherwise he is not going to love you.”   

I don’t know what to believe. I put myself in that humiliating situation again. If I can blame someone, it would be the numerous psychics that made me believe he was going to change and come back. But I also feel it is all a process, a process of healing. The only thing I wish is to have let him go LONG time ago ☹.

[loops77]

So sorry Luckymom. This man sounds like he has serious problems.

Please stop giving him money. File for child support and cut off contact if he ever gets violent with you again.

[SomethingBetter]

Luckymom I am so sorry you are going through this but I can tell you from witnessing it first hand...this man will NEVER change. Abusers don't suddenly become nice, good or loving people. You need to protect yourself. Please don't give him anymore money and you should probably do something to protect yourself both physically as well as legally/financially. These psychics are wrong and it sickens me that they are telling you to hold on or painting a fairytale when someone is emotionally/physically abusive.

[Rima]

Please remember, most of us have put up with abuse and/or neglect and/or deception.  But, we can change it from here on forward.  I am determined to change the pattern in my life. If that means I will be alone, I will accept it.  Also, I know that life can surprise you and give you sunshine when you no longer wait for it.  Trust me, even if I write this, I am not there yet.  Still trying and I want to succeed.  Big hug to you. 

[luckymom]

Hello! I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to all of you in this board. Thank you for your understanding and support. “Your heart wants what your heart wants.” That is exactly how I was feeling. Thank you Bella. Here is a chat conversation I had with psychic Narnia. I know it is all my fault. Sorry I deleted our real names.

12/28/10

Customer:  HI Narnia, this is J with husband F, he keeps hurting me, no communication, and today my kids and I, moved permanently to my mom’s.
Narnia :  Hi J!
Narnia :  oh no I am so sorry!
Customer: 
He also sent an e-mail to divorce lawyer with a bunch of lies, the lawyer forward the e-mail to me
Narnia :  oh no!
Narnia :  how horrible!
Customer:  how do you feel about us, because for me each day i convince myself that he doesn't' love me
Narnia :  I feel he is desperately trying to feel like he is somehow in control of the situation
Narnia :  and trying to take that control away from you because he feels he lost his own personal power in the marriage
Customer:  i just want this nightmare to end
Narnia :  but I feel that is just because he is so unhappy within himself
Narnia :  it sounds absolutely crazy and impossible
Narnia :  but I feel he really does love you but he is petrified(frighted) of his love for some reason
Narnia :  so he is trying to hurt you so he can find a way to make you stop loving him
Narnia :  I know that sounds insane
Narnia :  but I feel he feels so wretched(miserable) about himself
Customer:  still seeing us coming back together
Narnia :  so he is trying to make you feel wretched too
Customer:  he wants me to stop loving him
Narnia :  I don't feel it will happen within the next 3 weeks 01/19/2011
Narnia :  but it does feel the 2 of you will be together within the next 6 (febrero is the 6 weeks)weeks (one week OFF 2/14/11) (a month off 3/5/11) (3 months off) 7/17/11 not even a sign he loves me or he is coming back…
Narnia :  yes
Narnia :  he feels he is worthless
Narnia :  and he is so afraid to let you love him
Narnia :  and he has tried to stop loving you
Narnia :  but he hasn't been able to stop loving you
Narnia :  so he is now trying to force you to hate him
Customer:  again by "together" you mean living together, now we don't even have a house
Narnia :  because that is how he feels he deserves to be treated
Narnia :  yes I feel you will be together in a relationship again and will find a way to live together within the next 9 weeks, but I feel you will emotionally reconcile within the 6 weeks FEBRUARY 8TH—march 1st off (OFF FEELING VERY STUPID 5/13/11)
Customer:  so, he is not happy with his girlfriend?
Narnia :  I feel he has tried to be
Narnia :  I feel he has tried to use her to help himself get over you
Narnia :  but he doesn't love her
Narnia :  and can't stop thinking about you
Narnia :  and he is so frustrated and scared
Customer:  o.k my best advisor narnia keep u updated
Narnia :  so he lashes out(Punishment administered with a whip.) at you instead of facing his feelings for you
Narnia :  I am so sorry he is hurting you
Customer:  call you after the audience on monday
Narnia :  but I do feel you will get through this and be together again
Narnia :  take care!
Narnia :  I wish you the best
Customer:  thannks


Thank you again!  “Without struggle there is no strength.” And I have to be well and strong for my two babies

[melancholia]

I know it is all my fault.

Don't blame yourself for any of this.  Seriously, this isn't your fault. 

Sorry I deleted our real names.

It's standard practice - don't worry about that.

Sorry you're still going through this nightmare.  I hope things get better for you soon.

[allbitenobark]

Narnia :  so he lashes out(Punishment administered with a whip.) at you instead of facing his feelings for you

So this man physically attacks you? Please walk away. Please. My father was abusive (mentally and physically) to us but especially my Mother and we (my little brother and I) used to beg her to leave him and she didn't. I can only tell you my experience from a child's POV, but it took me years to gain respect and understanding for my Mother after the hell we had to live thru because she wouldn't walk away. Him telling you to find someone to love you is the kindest thing he can say to you although it also seems he's playing mind games. In the long run, once your children see you in a happy fulfilling relationship, they will understand you leaving their father. I truly wish you not only strength but fortitude in your days ahead. You are beautiful and loving and kind, YOU DESERVE THE BEST!

[Bella]

Well said decibel. And very very correct.

However I think the point that should be driven home, is that a so called "psychic" advisor, knowing her story, would encourage her not to give up hope. WTF? Are you kidding me?  They didn't give her hearfelt honest guidance and tell her to protect herself? It really makes me want to vomit, that the majority of these psychics will play with your emotions and spoon feed you what they think you want to hear. To keep you calling back. He's physically and emotionally abusive, and they tell HER to hang on? What kind of guidance is that? It is disgusting in my opinion. I think the awful fairy tale they gave her is abusive as well.

I think all the advice that some members have posted here are truly heartfelt and in her best interest. Does anyone think that that is what they psychics SHOULD have been doing? This, IMHO is way more
Unethical then giving the run of the mill fairy tale that "he will be back" something we all have heard time and time again. THIS is just more solid proof of how low some will stoop. To tell someone who was abused, to hang in there, he'll be back, a new man. OMG that makes me nuts.

Sorry, don't mean to sound angry, but THIS? Give a fairy tale to someone who was abused? IN front of the kid, While PREGNANT! They don't guide her to get help? It truly is sick, that these people would take advantage of someone who truly, truly needs guidance, at such a crucial time in her life. How heartbreaking.

[Cfisher]

@bella - I second those feelings and raise my glass to you for voicing your opinion. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Keep your chin up @luckymom, we're rooting for you to get yourself out of the muck as quick as you can....

[Cfisher]

@fluttershy - I have never been through what you have been through. In reading your post, man oh man my heart just breaks for you. You and @luckymom don't deserve to ever be treated like that. I understand that the heart wants what the heart wants and I don't think that that can be helped. Even though he was horrible to you, you had an emotional attachment to him, so I do believe it's only natural to miss someone that was a part of your life.

I can only imagine what it feels like on your end. And I think that what you are feeling is normal. You know you should hate him, but it's difficult to when your heart is involved.

I hope that you aren't too hard on yourself while moving slowly through the healing process and I really hope that for both of you there are support groups in your area that may be able to help you get your strength. You CAN change your life, I have complete faith in both of you.

I wish that I had the powers to take all that pain away, to erase your memory from the pain that you have been caused, unfortunately I'm lacking the magical skills to be able to do that. I know that prayer works well for many, but I believe talking things through, making up a game plan and major positive reinforcement from strong women who support you and will be there to hear you out can help you through the healing process. You deserve to surround yourself with love, light and great people and I hope that you have that in your real life.

If you ever need a friend, either one of you, please feel free to send me a PM. I know that many experiences are personal, embarrassing and the spiral of why did I stay so long, how could I do that to myself and am I ever goin to get over this are probably things that still run through your mind. But just know that you have a strong support group right here on this forum. Just know that even though many of us are strangers to each other, live in different countries and will probably never meet face to face, I strongly believe that we are all here for reasons that are beyond the logical perspective.

Please take good care of yourself, pamper yourself, you deserve it! And again, if you need someone to talk to, I'm a couple of clicks away from a conversation.