Hello everyone,
I am so sorry this is so long but I am deeply hurt and I appreciate anyone who reads this.
I have been on a psychic binge lately, I have terrible anxiety and heartbreaks don't make it any better of course. I don't go to psychics for advice, I don't want the generic "it gets better" , I can get that from my mom and friends. Readings became somewhat of a way to alleviate the anxiety. Now my readings have become so confusing because its as if each advisor overlaps a bit but I can't get the full picture. I would love help with deciphering my readings altogether if anyones up for it. I can PM you screenshots/recordings
Backstory: I have two POI
POI 1
POI 2.... or as my friends and I say "Thing 1 and thing 2" because they just so happen to have the same nickname for their full names. (you may also learn through this that my life is a joke because what are the odds)
POI 1:I met in 2022, dated for a while in 2023. I have never really been in love but with this man I saw the marriage and the kids and the getting old together.
I ask Pheonixia on Psychic live about him (I don't want to get my heart broken) : "cards show an indication of true love relationship to which they say is in momentum...u can get what you desire from this." I pursued the relationship
Then suddenly he broke up with me out of nowhere. We weren't arguing, and he was supposed to meet my family the following week. I went from being happy in love to heartbroken extremely quick. I mean this man was at home on Friday saying he loved me and wanted to be together to the following Monday he wanted to break up suddenly. It felt like leaving a dream and entering a nightmare. This led to the first binge....I got fed fairytales by so many.
Tattoo psychic said its because of another woman. Most others said they did not pick up on another woman and that rather POI 1 loved me, got scared, felt insecure and ran. I believed tattoo psychic to which I kept asking POI 1 and he kept saying there was not another woman. We stopped speaking, my binge continued, wondering when he'd come back. We spoke here and there (because of me reaching out ) to which he tried to do the "I care about you, I just don't want a relationship. " Says theres no other woman and that maybe one day we can get back together once he gets his stuff together...lo and behold months later I find out he's dealing with another woman when I get the "we have to stop talking" text (after saying he was so sorry and wanted to get on good terms with me). We argue because clearly he just didn't want me. Tells me that "things just happened" and "You don't deserve a guy like me" says he didn't feel good enough being with me and that I am a wonderful girl who shouldn't have to deal with someone like him....and that broke me. The person I was in love with, was with when he had nothing (which he acknowledged that I loved him unconditionally through everything), picked another woman. I end up with commitment issues with fear of getting attached to people again, my anxiety develops, I can't sleep, I cry all the time, my self esteem is shattered..what did I do wrong to deserve this?... I slip into depression. I hate love, I never want it again.
I go on another binge
Tattoo psychic - He will reach out to you again for sex.
Pheonixia - Gloom and doom , he came to a realization, he's depressed. Things ultimately will never work between us ( when I asked how could it change to this after being so positive she basically gave me the energies change, cards only read on current energy. They're not for fortune telling...but yet she's supposed to be reading the future?) Also he's pisces and they change their minds a lot. Now she keeps saying I will meet an earth sign in season of Taurus...at this point I am not sure if I should trust her readings. She can pick up on things but...then it'll change drastically. I have been waiting on this earth sign since last year when this al begin.
Karen Hiles (empath) - She starts of by saying "I feel its important that you know, none of this is your fault" He has feelings for you but he doesn't acknowledge them. He is going from woman to woman to fulfill an empty part of himself because he's insecure. He was falling in love, got scared and left.
Uli- He deals with this other woman because she is a "skank" (her words) and he see's that as being someone more on his level. He still thinks of you at night. I will never be happy with him so I might as well let it go, we are not meant to be together.
September: First reading with Yona, I wanted just a general reading focused on love.....but of course my love life is a joke...he pops up.
She said she see's someone from my past popping up. They'll want to meet in person. He'll try to flirt and romance me. He'll want to meet in person, we'll talk but I will walk away still single. I didn't think anything of it. Yona didn't seem to pick up on POI 2
I start forcing myself to go out on dates. I connect with no one because I'm closed off and uninterested. I was always picky but now fear is added in. I still have feelings for POI 1 and feel pathetic for it.
October: I meet POI 2
Its a man that wanted me when I was with POI 1. He ask for a date. I look at it as "another date and then I will come home and cry"...but this time it was different. I enjoyed being around him. We started going on more dates, we talked about marriage, kids, moving. I still had my reservations but I entertained the thought of a relationship. The setback was that we had different views on life that could impact our future kids/marriage and this was my biggest concern, but POI would simply go "its no biggie, we'll work through it"...but I have heard this with POI 1 and look how that turned out. POI 2 said he could tell that I had been terribly hurt by someone because of my demeanor, loving but then would randomly pull back. He said it didn't feel like it was family trauma, but rather another man and that whoever had me hurt me badly... he was right and him noticing this without me telling him made me feel seen. Even now it causes my heart to regret ending things but my mind goes "it was what's best, morals were too different, that's risky"
But then it happened, POI 2 has a bad habit of lacking transparency, that's my gripe with him. This causes me to withdraw "He'll hurt me too" (yes I am in therapy). This happened to which we agreed upon something and he went back on it, the agreed upon thing was based on morals and my concern is that it'd impact us in the future and even more so how we raise kids together. I ended it out of frustration, disappointment and him going "I never agreed with that". Mind you he was probably two glasses of whiskey in when we agreed so he genuinely probably didn't remember.
Psychic bing starts, Im torn morals Vs someone I like (and I don't like anyone typically)
Pheonixia - Gloom and doom , he may reach out but he is not for me. He's a gemini so he has "two faces" and this will cause issues. I should reconsider anything with him. ( her reading are only $5, 300 points .50 for each question. she picks up some stuff but her readings leave me confused when compared to others.)
Tattoo psychic : He will reach out, he misses me. Relationship will have its ups and downs but we'll workout. Timeframe is January (possibly Feb)
Manon : He will reach out, timeframe was December
Gemini Moon: He doesn't miss me at the time but he will eventually reach out. Timeframe is Feb.
log lady : he will reach out, he misses me. Relationship will have its ups and downs but be good. Timeframe : before or shortly after the new year.
Autumn rivers: He will reach out, possibly Feb
Monarch : he will reach out , January
Psychic binge stops, I miss POI 2 but theres no point in doing readings, all seem positive.
Dreams about POI 1 start...because my love life is a joke, I am living a telenovela.
Readings start....remember when Yona said "she see's someone from my past popping up. They'll want to meet in person. He'll try to flirt and romance me. He'll want to meet in person, we'll talk but I will walk away still single." and tattoo psychic said 'He will reach out to you again for sex."...the big show down is apparently on its way. Hence the dreams.
Binge begins:
Manon: He wants to reach out but is scared
Tattoo psychic : He has feelings for you, will return to resume our previous argument, we won't stop speaking after this. A relationship isn't likely without a lot of patience and even then it may not be the kind I feel happy in but POI 1 is hard to reach on and things change so its hard to say for sure. The energy around us is hard to read because its good and bad and confusing. Doesn't pick up on a female energy around him does pick up on a male energy (WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON)...I am sorry for cursing. Will attempt to use me for sex.
Pheonixia : Gloom and doom (per usual) he has feelings for me but wants to be with her because essentially I am not toxic enough for him, but the feelings pull him both ways and makes it hard to let me go. They will end up being life partners (possibly) as their relationship is prone to conflict so things can change.(remember she told me we'd be life partner at first) He will reach out to me for sex to fulfill a part of himself but ultimately he will go back to her.... but yet somehow theres a grey area because a relationship is possible and I can still get what I want and we be life partners but current energies are not looking great. ( I told her about the woman, I didn't tell any other psychic so I am wondering if she is using that information and going with it.)
Gemini moon : He will come to me upset about something in regards to me. looks like a conflict regarding another person, possibly rekindling our argument about the woman he's with or him feeling that I have another man interested in me and this will bother him, potentially also why we argue. He did or does have feelings for me but it could be surrounded by wanting sex, but this is how some people feel closeness.
Monarch : He will reach out because he is lonely
Lolas love tarot: There is still a connection between the two of you. See's contact, POI 1 has an attraction, chemistry is there but won't allow himself to genuinely love me. Potentially with time things can improve based upon her cards.
Jess111 : There is an energy of resistance (a lot of psychics keep using this phrase). He wants to reach out but keeps delaying it. He's being prideful. Still has feelings, they never left but he is internally struggling. He numbs any energy that has to do with romance to protect himself. The idea of being vulnerable with me scares him. Sex is an important part of a connection with him. That's how he feels like he can connect with me without being vulnerable. He distracts himself by talking to other woman but isn't focused or serious with one person, nor has feelings for anyone else. He thinks of me often, a relationship is possible but it'll take patience, but theres potential.
Last reading was with tattoo psychic again : ( I read on both this time) He told me to leave both of them a lone as now it shows POI 2 won't be reaching out this month. Shows I am in distress, anxiety is high. His advice is to move on from both as anyone causing mental turmoil isn't for me.
I can see this for POI 1 and am ready to let him go, despite what Jess and others say, I don't see any hope for us.
For POI 2 its hard to wanna believe that log lady is inaccurate since she's been so good for so many others. Also now I am upset that maybe I shouldn't have ended things because it wouldn't have caused a binge if I didn't. I deleted the app with Pheonixia on it and I am sure PO is next. I would only want to talk to Jess from there as she was very detailed and has such great reviews. Outside of that would be log lady and Yona, whom I have a top off with in Feb. For a while I was stuck between POI 1 and POI 2 but after writing this I have realize, I would pick POI 2 ANY DAY. I pray all the time that he comes back.
I am the single family member, and the single friend. I am so tired of going on trips and everyone else is in relationships, married, pregnant, with kids…. And then there’s me. I act like I’m not bothered but it’s hard. Everyone has someone, my mom goes “you’re young , the person will come”…. But love is never guaranteed. I’m in my mid 20’s … I’m ready to settle down.
I am sure I will be back to update this, thank you if you've read this far.