.

[sugarsky]

Thanks for your input SinCity.

I wanted to update the thread and needed a space to vent. Down to one reader and deleted the keen app - though I hope never to open it again. I am giving up on my POI as in, I’m tired of chasing and being second best. If he were truly meant for me and wanted to be with me, his actions would say differently. I’m tired of being kept around like a friend, my attempts to flirt shut down/minimized when he’s the one that originally pursued me and reconnected with me in Nov 2023. I’m still attracted to him but I feel tired and don’t have the mental and physical energy for it anymore. He has been talking to others and I wish them luck. I feel hurt. I haven’t cried over it yet - maybe I will - but there’s nothing to cry over because there isn’t a solid romantic relationship of any sort and I just don’t want another texting buddy. I’d rather have someone who asks me how my day was, misses me when I am away travelling, asks how I am doing and loves me to bits. I don’t know if I will ever get that but I’d rather work towards that than settle for a man that doesn’t see me. I’m just hurt. And if this is the way my psychic journey ends, then great. I don’t want to go back to the apps. I don’t want to sink any more money into this situation.

When you realize your worth and see the light, there is no going back. You are worth everything you want and more. Put yourself first and stop hurting over men who are, in reality, nothing to you. 🩷

[Chocolate]

I think that having readings with predictions that don’t come true can be positive. Yes, I’ve wasted my money but it’s got me thinking that I should really use my own judgement and intuition.

There’s some great advice on here from other posters and I am sure you will feel stronger in time 💐

[Candy]

Sai07, I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time. Would it be helpful if you date casually again? Just to take your mind off this dude and get some positive energy back into your life? Sometimes a change in scenery, a new hobby, hanging out with girlfriends can also be helpful…

[kika]

Sai07, I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time. Would it be helpful if you date casually again? Just to take your mind off this dude and get some positive energy back into your life? Sometimes a change in scenery, a new hobby, hanging out with girlfriends can also be helpful…

[Candy]

Does anyone have any advice on how they distracted themselves when going no contact with POI or when POI ghosted? I am committed to not letting POI not texting me not cause me to break and text them. I’m not playing that game anymore. Any advice during this phase is appreciated. Thank you.

If you have a gym membership, go to the gym whenever you feel the overwhelming urge to reach out. Seriously. Working out is a great “distraction”, it fills your brain with dopamine, and over time, you look smokin’ hot because of it. Then whether or not POI returns, you get all the benefits and likely a new boyfriend. 😉

[Mina]

I agree gym and exercises helps! Help regulate endorphins

But That’s always a challenge

Get a passion project: hobbies, learning a new language, music something that really gets you going. And I’ve tried asking psychics this like “what would I like doing?” And they would give generals, and the thing is no one knows what you like best but you! So don’t make that mistake I’ve made. And do it challenge yourself to remember what you like to do!

This is probably the hardest thing you’re gonna have to figure out: what do love to do (outside your ex/or poi)? What do I love about my life? What is my purpose in life? And it does hit this existential type of crisis but if you’re really passionate about what you are doing and love it, that does take a hard attention away from your person and energetically it is felt and it is attractive.

Change your environment, routine… if you can’t, rearrange your furniture so instead of waking up and walk left, you go right… and you could hate it and re change it back, but the point is to change your routine for a little bit to build a new habit, to think new thoughts, that don’t lead to thinking about them … at least immediately

Which brings me to I have haven’t finished that book “atomic habits” but it mentions successful habits takes one small change a day, and consistently; versus then to change your whole life immediately and expect follow thru… which often leads to giving up so just focus on changing one small habit. There’s a free YouTube audio version of the book, I highly recommend it, and I should finish it

Pattern interruption
I got thru the winter season singing my intrusive thoughts about calling psychics, or my ex. I sang my intrusive thoughts to pop songs and anything that bothered me.  So find a pop song and sing about your feelings (mine was hit me baby one more time by Britney spear; it went something like this “ooops I want to call my ex oh baby baby” and then I found I didn’t need to change much other part of the lyrics. )

Identifying Intrusive thoughts and intrusive feelings
Identifying my intrusive thoughts, for me , questions like: is what’s my ex dating? Or Ugh what does my sister want from me?, feeling angry every time I come from work… feeling angry in general… and the thing about intrusive feelings and thoughts is well they are there, but my response to it what can change if I am willing to observe it. So willing to observe it takes time but so helpful because you can say ok this my Achilles heel to this feeling or thought, but I don’t have to act on it… and THAT observation is a huge start in awareness. I can explain it but then the other battle is not reacting the same way, easier said than done.

A long time ago a therapist said when my mind was going and I needed to call a psychic but couldn’t he suggested I recall the 50 states alphabetically without the internet… and I still use this but have gotten really good at it. I guess things like my favorite actor has been in movies. Things you know but would need a source to check, yet occupy your brain chatter.

Or cleaning! Reorganizing my makeup, or even getting rid of clothes, some kind of spring cleaning project

I think this goes back to the first point but asking yourself “what have I been putting off?” : oil change, organizing bills, salsa class (anything from the mundane to the exciting), planning a trip

[Mina]

@Mina. Not sure if you have noticed but this forum is called "The Psychic Reviews". Maybe you would need to join another forum for people trying to quit psychics or whatever and stop writing these novels. It just gives people a headache.

Thanks for being fan

Not sure if your noticed but this is the psychic addiction section

Plus
You deleted a bunch of YOUR reviews and I was more then sympathetic towards cause, and I apologize if we got off on the wrong foot

Sorry you’re jelly? Or feel that way
I honestly don’t care if you want to put me down

But I do care that ppl struggle and there is an issue with psychic addiction that has been growing - whether it’s spiritual or impulsive like compulsive spending

I just want that voice heard and help ppl get some kind of normal that doesn’t ruin themselves

Hope you get help
Again thanks for being a fan!

[Notacrystalfreak]

Ok let's bring this back to my quitting story

So I failed miserably this month. I went on binge calls the past two days >.< I feel guilty. But I also feel I needed to talk to someone =(
I can't talk about my situation with anyone else. I have been distancing and not texting my POI and I am hurting. I am in the phase where I am having a hard time accepting that it is in my best interests to move on. I go back and forth with the whole thing.

I don't understand how someone can go from being so loving and genuine and wanting to spend their time with you to talking to multiple other people and giving you the cold shoulder. I also don't believe in the whole, 'get under someone to get over someone else' . At least not in the beginning stages of pulling away from someone you love. That won't make me feel better.

Anyways, my point being, I binged and I am disappointed. I am struggling with fully letting go of this person which is why the binges happened - a couple advisors told me it will get better (but I do not believe them) and one told me there is no future (while I believe her, a part of me does not want to believe her). I don't know how I am going to pray my way out of the hurt, but I can't keep calling advisors.

I worry my intuition and sense of judgement is off too. How could I believe this is the person I was going to marry? And how does a tiny part of me still think this will magically work out? I feel confused and hurt.

Re: prayer, I also am struggling to decide if I want to pray for this person to change and come back into my life or if I want to pray the feelings away :/ Feels like I'm not in a clear state of mind.

Anyways, thanks for listening.

Another person is not the key to your happiness. He’s just another, flawed human being. You deserve more, you deserve to be occupied by better things.

[Notacrystalfreak]

Just an update - I went through some bad binges over the weekend and up till yesterday and now I feel I have it decently out of my system. The only reason I was calling was for my POI and I have decided to walk away from him so there's no point anymore.

Some psychics have continued to say it's going to work out despite him talking to multiple girls and not talking to me (wtf lol??) and I just cannot continue to see how that will happen. It's a turn off when someone gives someone else attention over you. I also feel if someone gives you THAT much anxiety and makes you go to psychics that much, they're not for you or they're not ready and there's no point in constantly checking if they ever will be ready for you. Everyday that passes, while agonizing, I feel more and more comfortable with my decision to walk away and just let things happen organically in my life. I don't need to know the future, it's just not worth it. All the psychics are half-wrong anyways. I have yet to meet someone that gives you a complete picture and then predicts outcomes accurately.

When I am ready, maybe in a few weeks or a couple months, I will open myself up to dating again.
But I am ready to move on and invest in myself.

There are periods of loneliness. I have to figure those out but the unsurmountable depression - thankfully, is lifting slowly, a bit at a time.

We’ve got each other if that means anything. Reading all these posts just strengthens my resolve. And especially knowing someone else is going through the same emotions as me…uncertainty, loneliness etc.

[Notacrystalfreak]

Tiny update.

My POI said he would not be in contact with me over socials for the summer. At first, I was a bit shocked and then sad - I'm going to continue to be sad but I talked to someone and they said NC is the right thing. It's funny how God/the Universe works. I was in two situationships - one where the guy ghosted me after talking to me daily for 1.5 years (I have not heard from him in a month). And this second situationship with POI, he also is removing himself from the situation. To me, that is God making room for someone more worthy. It is strange how these two things happened at the same time. God/the Universe has been showing me that my POI is not the right person for me and I have been avoiding it. I really have been. And it is time to course-correct.

I deleted snapchat today (I don't have him on anything else). I've deleted Keen off my phone. My favourite advisor is just a advisor at this point and I have no intention of reading with her again, she flip-flopped and I have sunk a lot of money through the POI detachment process.

I'm also probably not going to come here as much. Part of this detachment is creating new habits for myself. Thank you to every single person that has supported me and shared their advice & experiences, contributed to my threads; your interactions and your inspiring stories and how strongly you hold your self-worth inspire and amaze me.

Sad to see you go but whatever’s for the best. I don’t know why I’m still in this forum either. Maybe as a reminder of what I don’t want to be. All the best xx

[jackY]

Agreed, but I know I'm still here to share and support. It's probably why we hang

Tiny update.

My POI said he would not be in contact with me over socials for the summer. At first, I was a bit shocked and then sad - I'm going to continue to be sad but I talked to someone and they said NC is the right thing. It's funny how God/the Universe works. I was in two situationships - one where the guy ghosted me after talking to me daily for 1.5 years (I have not heard from him in a month). And this second situationship with POI, he also is removing himself from the situation. To me, that is God making room for someone more worthy. It is strange how these two things happened at the same time. God/the Universe has been showing me that my POI is not the right person for me and I have been avoiding it. I really have been. And it is time to course-correct.

I deleted snapchat today (I don't have him on anything else). I've deleted Keen off my phone. My favourite advisor is just a advisor at this point and I have no intention of reading with her again, she flip-flopped and I have sunk a lot of money through the POI detachment process.

I'm also probably not going to come here as much. Part of this detachment is creating new habits for myself. Thank you to every single person that has supported me and shared their advice & experiences, contributed to my threads; your interactions and your inspiring stories and how strongly you hold your self-worth inspire and amaze me.

Sad to see you go but whatever’s for the best. I don’t know why I’m still in this forum either. Maybe as a reminder of what I don’t want to be. All the best xx

[Sasha414]

For me it's a spiritual journey and a very helpful resource, so I didn't block it out completely. But I have been in your shoes many times and finally what worked for me is sticking to one (actually two) readers. They were both the only too I felt compassion from. So to wean myself off, I spent more time shadow journaling, writing, drawing, and when I did these things I wrote about the things I would deserve and desire. It helped a lot and may seem like nothing but I now have it under control and again for my it's a growth spiritually for me, so I keep it around.
I'm sorry you feel so lost. I hope you find what works for you.

[Mina]

Thanks for the update … and apologies for the novel or if long winded

If I may I think you’re going to all or nothing/black and white/absolute thinking… because I do it too! Or at least this how I relate to this. Also congratulations on going so long without a psychic.

Again be kind and gentle to yourself!

Gentle.
Bring in this soft sprinkly gentle kindness  acceptance of yourself. All that intensity and care is not a force to “take away” from them- but REFOCUS it back to you.

AND also because this does helps see and feel your value.

So you miss and love your friend and ex. That’s okay! Take the stigma of what you should or shouldn’t/be or feel- aside. Put all the stigma, personal meaning of what it means about you- with kindness. But see if you can observe what you’re making it mean about you; and then gently touch that part of you. I forget I don’t think my thoughts; I first feel them; I embody the sensation of my feelings, then thoughts along with the feelings of rejection… so remember to work backwards. Easier said than done, but it is helpful. So from the embodiment of rejection I am feeling broken and hallow in my chest, then the thoughts come: “men suck, I was used, how could ppl do this to me. Why would any one pick me, etc” AND then touch this part of me from a centered calm place and GENTLE (is this absolute truth- prob not)

Have you done this exercise?
If I was with (my friend/this guy) here right now what would that mean or say about me? If they were texting me right now want to hang out and be with me with me right now: What would be relieved? Or what part of me could feel like I could finally breathe? What would this say about me?
(For me: I’d feel seen, like I can breathe, I am whole. I can also feel my body smile)

And yes the cliche answer is “well how can I give that to myself?” But it isn’t so much figuring out it’s more of this acceptance, allowance for you to be okay to be you. Freely all of you.

If you could see how God values you? See how precious you are, would you be open to allow that in? (And I hope this doesn’t trigger you; I know God concept be rough one here)

I admit I can’t do it all the time… and I’m not always open to it, nor can remember. But that word “open” when rephrased to positive question affirmations “if I could be OPEN to?” it does allow the subconscious not to have so much resistance to that possibility. So putting a pause on what you’re resisting

My therapist gave me this “homework” instead of calling a psychic about: what he’s going do? What’s he thinking about me? What’s he feeling about me? When is he going to call me?
To change “he” to “me”: what am I going to do? What am I thinking about me? What am I feeling about me? When am I going to call me?

And it does have me like “oh!” It is this weird re-parent my inner dialogue.
Refocus your value back to you, with gentleness and kindness.

[jackY]

We got you, Sai. Reach out any time.

Thanks for the update … and apologies for the novel or if long winded

If I may I think you’re going to all or nothing/black and white/absolute thinking… because I do it too! Or at least this how I relate to this. Also congratulations on going so long without a psychic.

Again be kind and gentle to yourself!

Gentle.
Bring in this soft sprinkly gentle kindness  acceptance of yourself. All that intensity and care is not a force to “take away” from them- but REFOCUS it back to you.

AND also because this does helps see and feel your value.

So you miss and love your friend and ex. That’s okay! Take the stigma of what you should or shouldn’t/be or feel- aside. Put all the stigma, personal meaning of what it means about you- with kindness. But see if you can observe what you’re making it mean about you; and then gently touch that part of you. I forget I don’t think my thoughts; I first feel them; I embody the sensation of my feelings, then thoughts along with the feelings of rejection… so remember to work backwards. Easier said than done, but it is helpful. So from the embodiment of rejection I am feeling broken and hallow in my chest, then the thoughts come: “men suck, I was used, how could ppl do this to me. Why would any one pick me, etc” AND then touch this part of me from a centered calm place and GENTLE (is this absolute truth- prob not)

Have you done this exercise?
If I was with (my friend/this guy) here right now what would that mean or say about me? If they were texting me right now want to hang out and be with me with me right now: What would be relieved? Or what part of me could feel like I could finally breathe? What would this say about me?
(For me: I’d feel seen, like I can breathe, I am whole. I can also feel my body smile)

And yes the cliche answer is “well how can I give that to myself?” But it isn’t so much figuring out it’s more of this acceptance, allowance for you to be okay to be you. Freely all of you.

If you could see how God values you? See how precious you are, would you be open to allow that in? (And I hope this doesn’t trigger you; I know God concept be rough one here)

I admit I can’t do it all the time… and I’m not always open to it, nor can remember. But that word “open” when rephrased to positive question affirmations “if I could be OPEN to?” it does allow the subconscious not to have so much resistance to that possibility. So putting a pause on what you’re resisting

My therapist gave me this “homework” instead of calling a psychic about: what he’s going do? What’s he thinking about me? What’s he feeling about me? When is he going to call me?
To change “he” to “me”: what am I going to do? What am I thinking about me? What am I feeling about me? When am I going to call me?

And it does have me like “oh!” It is this weird re-parent my inner dialogue.
Refocus your value back to you, with gentleness and kindness.

Thanks Mina. Yes, I am still taking a faith-based approach. I would be lying if I said I am not praying for both of these people to come back into my life, but I also wonder if the way they were removed was God telling me to move on. I feel extremely lost and confused. It’s great that you found a therapist that can you talk through this with. I feel embarrassed telling anyone I have an addiction problem. I am hurting and sometimes feel like reading out to one or two psychics but I think at this point any false hope would be extremely damaging to the progress I have made with no contact. As I said, it’s a very confusing and challenging period. Thanks for the exercise - will try it - sorry for my lack of enthusiasm, feeling depressed today. But thanks x

[jackY]

Right back at 'cha, woman. xo

We got you, Sai. Reach out any time.

Thanks for the update … and apologies for the novel or if long winded

If I may I think you’re going to all or nothing/black and white/absolute thinking… because I do it too! Or at least this how I relate to this. Also congratulations on going so long without a psychic.

Again be kind and gentle to yourself!

Gentle.
Bring in this soft sprinkly gentle kindness  acceptance of yourself. All that intensity and care is not a force to “take away” from them- but REFOCUS it back to you.

AND also because this does helps see and feel your value.

So you miss and love your friend and ex. That’s okay! Take the stigma of what you should or shouldn’t/be or feel- aside. Put all the stigma, personal meaning of what it means about you- with kindness. But see if you can observe what you’re making it mean about you; and then gently touch that part of you. I forget I don’t think my thoughts; I first feel them; I embody the sensation of my feelings, then thoughts along with the feelings of rejection… so remember to work backwards. Easier said than done, but it is helpful. So from the embodiment of rejection I am feeling broken and hallow in my chest, then the thoughts come: “men suck, I was used, how could ppl do this to me. Why would any one pick me, etc” AND then touch this part of me from a centered calm place and GENTLE (is this absolute truth- prob not)

Have you done this exercise?
If I was with (my friend/this guy) here right now what would that mean or say about me? If they were texting me right now want to hang out and be with me with me right now: What would be relieved? Or what part of me could feel like I could finally breathe? What would this say about me?
(For me: I’d feel seen, like I can breathe, I am whole. I can also feel my body smile)

And yes the cliche answer is “well how can I give that to myself?” But it isn’t so much figuring out it’s more of this acceptance, allowance for you to be okay to be you. Freely all of you.

If you could see how God values you? See how precious you are, would you be open to allow that in? (And I hope this doesn’t trigger you; I know God concept be rough one here)

I admit I can’t do it all the time… and I’m not always open to it, nor can remember. But that word “open” when rephrased to positive question affirmations “if I could be OPEN to?” it does allow the subconscious not to have so much resistance to that possibility. So putting a pause on what you’re resisting

My therapist gave me this “homework” instead of calling a psychic about: what he’s going do? What’s he thinking about me? What’s he feeling about me? When is he going to call me?
To change “he” to “me”: what am I going to do? What am I thinking about me? What am I feeling about me? When am I going to call me?

And it does have me like “oh!” It is this weird re-parent my inner dialogue.
Refocus your value back to you, with gentleness and kindness.

Thanks Mina. Yes, I am still taking a faith-based approach. I would be lying if I said I am not praying for both of these people to come back into my life, but I also wonder if the way they were removed was God telling me to move on. I feel extremely lost and confused. It’s great that you found a therapist that can you talk through this with. I feel embarrassed telling anyone I have an addiction problem. I am hurting and sometimes feel like reading out to one or two psychics but I think at this point any false hope would be extremely damaging to the progress I have made with no contact. As I said, it’s a very confusing and challenging period. Thanks for the exercise - will try it - sorry for my lack of enthusiasm, feeling depressed today. But thanks x

Thanks Jacky x appreciate you