Guys, girls...
I am sitting here on Christmas.. well, technically the day after since it's now the 26th.. completely "enlightened" and so very done with this unnecessary emotional exhaustion I've both put myself through and watched many of you go through.
For the past year and a half, I have been in an emotional rollercoaster with a man. I connected with this man on a deeper level than I've connected with anybody before. We had a decent relationship .. some back and forth and on and off, sure, but no cheating or extreme toxicity. He ended up breaking up with me in August of this year out of nowhere, stating I was too good for him and that our lifestyles did not match one another. Just a month before that, in July, we were on vacation together and he was telling me he wanted to marry me and how much he loved me. Our on and off moments before all of this started my psychic addition and need for reassurance about his feelings and his intentions for us in the off times... but this 180 switch and the end of our relationship this past late summer/early fall had me getting a reading almost daily, sometimes 5-6 times a day with different "psychics" .. and you know, no information, no standard lines, no "message".. was ever good enough to console me.
I've heard everything from these people just like you have. I tried to rekindle with him after this most recent break up just like many of you have with your POIs, and granted.. my situation doesn't involve marriage or children so I do realize it's a little more clear cut than some other situations I read about on here. About a month ago, after an attempt to talk and work things out, he ended up blocking me. He told me to move on.. but I was CONVINCED that he was not truly over me because we have always had this somewhat unhealthy pattern and this was another bump in the road. I was convinced we would get back together. I was convinced that he was just running from his feelings. I started getting psychic readings again right after this conversation, and EVERY psychic I went to told me... no, he hasn't moved on from you, he still loves you, he's not seeing anyone, hes not happy... and then you get the occasional "i don't see anyone significant around him, but if he is seeing someone, he'll break up with her soon and come back to you." And while there's a part of me that does believe some of that is true.... guess what?
Tonight.. the man who "wanted to marry me" just a handful of months ago... and who just hated holidays and was so scared to be around my family... posts lovely holiday photos of him smiling with his new girlfriend and her son. Of course, he only decided to post these pictures publicly once he had me blocked. He's still friends with my sister on social media, so she was the one who found them and sent them to me.
I looked at those photos and I smiled.. because the truth here is... why on earth am I/was I in such emotional agony over this guy? YES, we had many many good times together.. not all of it was bad! But.. does he deserve me thinking about him daily? Should I seriously be sitting around, holding onto hope, mentally and emotionally waiting for him to return? Should I put my life off from moving on when he so easily can? Sure, I am in pain after finding this out because I truly and genuinely love him... but nobody, deserves to be put second best.. to be shot down so coldly, or to be unnecessarily be made to feel that they're the reason they're not receiving love... when the person that you or I love has insecurities or other issues that I or you cannot always fix. And when I look back in hindsight and how my POI handled our breakup, this was exactly my situation. Of course no relationship is perfect, but the man I love was doing all of these things to me at multiple points in the relationship... he was cold, not always loving, and extremely insecure. That does not make him a bad person, of course, nor does it devalue the love or good moments we did share. I'm truly not writing this in a state of anger, disbelief, or denial. Im writing this in a state of clarity. However, I'm simply so tired of racking my brain and my heart, and honestly, there is more to life than this.
What I AM angry about.. is the UNBELIEVABLE amounts of money that I've spent on these people who have a 20-30% shot AT BEST of being correct about your situation. Guys.. name the popular ones.. Kisha, QOC, Cookie, bitwine, keen, kasamba, click4advisor, private bookings.... I've done so many. SO MANY!!! And literally.. ALL... wrong. Just the other day, I chatted QOC about my POI and asked her specifically if she saw that he was dating anybody.. she said she saw nobody in his life, just an older mother figure. Clearly.. that was wrong. And any that appeared to be right over the last couple of years... well, that, to me, at this stage in the game.. was likely just luck.
I seriously hope that so many of you sit back and look at your lives... we are all both victims and the cause of pain in life.. we all go through it, and we all also reject and cause it... this is life. I used to hate reading posts like this because I wanted to stay stuck in victim state.. I hated to hear about people "awakening" because I wanted to believe these readings and that everything would be OK.
But tonight, I looked from the outside in.. and said.. Nicole.. are you really respecting yourself? Is this rollercoaster really what you want? Is this the best you can do for your future? Are you not being conned out of your hard earned money for some guy who really isn't willing to put 100% in for you?
Guys.. save your money. Do something for yourself. Look for truth. Get off these sites, deactivate your social media.. and live your life. LIVE your life. Time is precious and we don't have much of it. Maybe your situation will work out, maybe it wont, time and faith will tell.. not a psychic
<3
