Relationship Coaching / Men are from Mars... etc

[russianred]

I'm sure many of us have heard about Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus... I read that book but also have been watching talks from relationship coaches on YouTube as a replacement for calling.

Some of the central points of these books/talks are:
- Many women are afraid to lean back and receive and we can suffocate men with our needy energy and need for reassurance, creating a problem where there was none.
- Many women are afraid to let men take the lead and rob them of their chance to do so with needy energy.
- Many women have become disconnected from their feeling center and bodies and we need to ground ourselves again.
- It's important to have your life beyond trying to figure out what will happen in your romantic relationship because that's what drew him to you in the first place.

Can any of you ladies relate to some of this??

I'm guessing that many of us who call psychics can relate to the feeling of needing to know where something is going, trying to "figure it all out," trying to control the outcome, when this is anathema to most guys.  I know that I have always struggled with EVERYTHING I wrote above and I am trying to feel more secure and release a lot of these patterns with my current relationship.

I'm also wondering how this all fits in (or doesn't) with Law of Attraction and manifesting.  I think I have had better results from releasing control rather than trying to manifest.

If any of you are into this stuff I would love to see what videos or materials you've found helpful.

[ES1281]

I think..

- As long as we pick a man truly in love with us, we will feel secure and there is no needs to be needy.

-LOA can change a person's attitude and outcome I believe. But just in case if that guy is really worthy for this much energy.

I think what causes issues is we pick wrong men.
Pick men with issues. Just stop picking up men with red flags then we are fine.

[russianred]

ES, I loved your to-the-point post.

Speaking only for myself, I know that I have acted in ways that are controlling and demanding with guys due to my own need for reassurance.  It's not a guy's need to fix that neediness in me (stemming from a lack of feeling secure in myself) and that's why I'm trying to do the work I mentioned above.

But I think you're right that many of us choose guys who have issues and who do us no favors in making us feel secure either.

How have you used LOA in the past?

[russianred]

I think these books are sometimes too old school but I also think that any situation where I found myself completely taking the lead in a romantic relationship didn't end well... it does seem like it's usually OK to meet the guy halfway on that though nowadays.

I'm still reading and watching videos.

I have learned some things...
- Learning how to phrase requests in a way that is calm and explains what the action would provide for us rather than using blaming and frustrated statements
- Reframing my expectations for the man I'm dating -- stop expecting him to naturally relate to me like my female friends do
- Living more in my body and in the moment rather than having my mind jump to fifty steps ahead, trying to figure out what everything "means" -- which is a turn-off for guys

I do feel like these books/videos can excuse men from accountability (if they aren't kind to us, it's somehow our "fault" because we didn't follow the rules).