Author Topic: What would you do?  (Read 1961 times)

Offline Kkbich2014

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What would you do?
« on: February 24, 2020, 05:31:15 PM »
So I've been dating someone since the summer of last year and I've reached that point where I am ready for a real committed relationship. We've had the conversation it wasnt the right time, but every time I've left him alone he's come back full force. Im not really happy with the way things are right now because Im ready for the next step and Im not sure if I want to have this exhausting conversation with him again and possibly end up hurt. I talked an advisor who in the past has been pretty accurate for me. He told me that the only way to get him to move forward is if he feels like I am going to walk away. Then he'll commit, but if I dont do anything, we'll stay where we are. I called this advisor again and it was a much harder conversation and I wish I didnt call him again. Im not sure if I should take the advice of the first reading or this one. This reading, he says, I need to talk to him let him tell me why he is where he is and why relationships have failed for him, and then go to bat for myself.  Let him know why it wouldnt be this way if we were to take it to the next level. Having this kind of conversation it feels like I would be lowering myself. Here's why you should be with me....I just dont know if I want to do that.
 I have no clue what to do now. Should I walk away like the first reading implied, or do I have this conversation, or do I just leave it be until I figure it out on my own.  I have so much anxiety right now because the reading was a short time ago.

  I thought this reading would be a continuation of the first, which was more comfortable and I felt empowered afterwards. This second reading was sooooo bad. I feel a bit defeated. He really let me have it. Has this happened to any of you? What do you all think I should do?

Offline Natashanyc

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Re: What would you do?
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2020, 05:37:56 PM »
So I've been dating someone since the summer of last year and I've reached that point where I am ready for a real committed relationship. We've had the conversation it wasnt the right time, but every time I've left him alone he's come back full force. Im not really happy with the way things are right now because Im ready for the next step and Im not sure if I want to have this exhausting conversation with him again and possibly end up hurt. I talked an advisor who in the past has been pretty accurate for me. He told me that the only way to get him to move forward is if he feels like I am going to walk away. Then he'll commit, but if I dont do anything, we'll stay where we are. I called this advisor again and it was a much harder conversation and I wish I didnt call him again. Im not sure if I should take the advice of the first reading or this one. This reading, he says, I need to talk to him let him tell me why he is where he is and why relationships have failed for him, and then go to bat for myself.  Let him know why it wouldnt be this way if we were to take it to the next level. Having this kind of conversation it feels like I would be lowering myself. Here's why you should be with me....I just dont know if I want to do that.
 I have no clue what to do now. Should I walk away like the first reading implied, or do I have this conversation, or do I just leave it be until I figure it out on my own.  I have so much anxiety right now because the reading was a short time ago.

  I thought this reading would be a continuation of the first, which was more comfortable and I felt empowered afterwards. This second reading was sooooo bad. I feel a bit defeated. He really let me have it. Has this happened to any of you? What do you all think I should do?


Put him on pause and distance yourself and don’t let him in again that easy . Make him see u are serious about what u want in your actions

Offline PurpleRain

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Re: What would you do?
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2020, 05:44:45 PM »
Walk away and find someone  that wants  a relationship.

Offline Kkbich2014

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Re: What would you do?
« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2020, 05:48:39 PM »
So I've been dating someone since the summer of last year and I've reached that point where I am ready for a real committed relationship. We've had the conversation it wasnt the right time, but every time I've left him alone he's come back full force. Im not really happy with the way things are right now because Im ready for the next step and Im not sure if I want to have this exhausting conversation with him again and possibly end up hurt. I talked an advisor who in the past has been pretty accurate for me. He told me that the only way to get him to move forward is if he feels like I am going to walk away. Then he'll commit, but if I dont do anything, we'll stay where we are. I called this advisor again and it was a much harder conversation and I wish I didnt call him again. Im not sure if I should take the advice of the first reading or this one. This reading, he says, I need to talk to him let him tell me why he is where he is and why relationships have failed for him, and then go to bat for myself.  Let him know why it wouldnt be this way if we were to take it to the next level. Having this kind of conversation it feels like I would be lowering myself. Here's why you should be with me....I just dont know if I want to do that.
 I have no clue what to do now. Should I walk away like the first reading implied, or do I have this conversation, or do I just leave it be until I figure it out on my own.  I have so much anxiety right now because the reading was a short time ago.

  I thought this reading would be a continuation of the first, which was more comfortable and I felt empowered afterwards. This second reading was sooooo bad. I feel a bit defeated. He really let me have it. Has this happened to any of you? What do you all think I should do?


Put him on pause and distance yourself and don’t let him in again that easy . Make him see u are serious about what u want in your actions

You're right. I need to clear my head and distance myself from him.  And when he comes back this time, I wont let him back so easy. It has to be on my terms from now on. I think the first reading was right because it resonated with what I was already thinking to let him go because its the right thing to do for myself.

Offline chrys1234

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Re: What would you do?
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2020, 05:57:57 PM »
I am in exactly the same situ with you if you read my thread.

Next time he contacts you say: babe you know how much i want you but im rather looking for a nice and full relationship right now, if you want the same you know where to find me.

No confrontations or anything just pure compassion.

Im gonna say something along those lines to him myself

Offline singing

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Re: What would you do?
« Reply #5 on: February 27, 2020, 02:54:23 PM »
That is the perfect response .. Being honest about what your needs are is the only way to get your needs met. That way the POI has a chance to step up or remove themselves.

 

anything