Can’t bring myself to get another reading yet

[Calleronhiatus]

I faltered and read with SweetRosee again and Marin for the first time and a couple others. Yikes. Slippery slope.

Then I did some tarot readings on myself and they were all so negative! I can’t help but wonder if my tarot reading on myself (as well as some readings from others) reflect my own state of mind more than a future prediction... don’t know. Asked about some career things and relationship things. All sounded very positive.

Time frame cane and went from the reading I had with Clairvoyant Danielle ... but still she was so incredibly good at picking up the present and past and how he is and how I am... and where things were at ... I just feel like maybe it’s just a matter of time... or not... idk.

Marin was awesome. Liked her a lot. Felt like she tuned in very well. But feeling so jaded by past positive predictions that I’m not sure I can trust what she said - which wasn’t fairy tale ish at all. Sweet Rosee is awesome as well, more specific in her predictions and picked up some kind of unexpected predictions that weren’t in my mind so I didn’t feel like she was picking up what she was predicting from my own thoughts ...

Ugh. Not proud of myself here. But hopefully i can be done now for a good long while again.

Maybe you are too attached to the outcome when you read for yourself. Do you know anyone that reads cards and might want to exchange readings with you?

I hope whatever you are going through gets better soon. Sending love and positive thoughts your way.

[flora0250]

@aquagirl @calleronhiatus - thank you! No I don’t actually know anyone personally ... in fact I try to hide the fact that I read and enjoy tarot from most people as there is not a very open minded community where I live. But thanks for the validation that it might be due to my own mindset. And thanks for the positive thoughts & good wishes. Things are better with focusing on myself and my work now. But I am just bummed that so many seemed to see really positive things - and good readers that got specific present things correct - but none of the predictions happened. Oh well. Just not what the universe has in store for me at the moment! Keep on moving forward! Thank you again!

[Calleronhiatus]

@aquagirl @calleronhiatus - thank you! No I don’t actually know anyone personally ... in fact I try to hide the fact that I read and enjoy tarot from most people as there is not a very open minded community where I live. But thanks for the validation that it might be due to my own mindset. And thanks for the positive thoughts & good wishes. Things are better with focusing on myself and my work now. But I am just bummed that so many seemed to see really positive things - and good readers that got specific present things correct - but none of the predictions happened. Oh well. Just not what the universe has in store for me at the moment! Keep on moving forward! Thank you again!

I’m sorry. I hope things get better for you soon. Maybe there is someone on here that will do a reading exchange. I remember someone on here doing readings for other members not that long ago. 

[jhuskindle]

I used to be a professional reader and I never read on myself. there are a lot of learning groups on Facebook and people are eager to exchange.

[Star_01]

I agree with Pinkamena. You were doing really well, having another reading is only going to tempt you into that awful cycle again of "shall I have another?", and the doubt, confusion, frustration and goodness knows other feelings we go through when having readings. Instead of thinking about having readings, think why you shouldn't have one and how much better you would feel. At the end of the day if you believe in energy, the more you have readings the more he will feel it subconsciously, so the best thing to do is keep busy and do you, literally with things you enjoy, hobbies, exercising etc and he will feel that (if that's what you're into believing). But to have another reading will just make you feel good for a short while until you feel dissatisfied again and crave for another.

[flora0250]

I agree with Pinkamena. You were doing really well, having another reading is only going to tempt you into that awful cycle again of "shall I have another?", and the doubt, confusion, frustration and goodness knows other feelings we go through when having readings. Instead of thinking about having readings, think why you shouldn't have one and how much better you would feel. At the end of the day if you believe in energy, the more you have readings the more he will feel it subconsciously, so the best thing to do is keep busy and do you, literally with things you enjoy, hobbies, exercising etc and he will feel that (if that's what you're into believing). But to have another reading will just make you feel good for a short while until you feel dissatisfied again and crave for another.

I don’t know who Pinkamena is lol! Maybe I missed a reply? But yes absolutely. Did not get one last night after all. The thought of it is just like ... I think it depresses me *more* at the moment. I don’t know. I’m going back and forth lately in things going on in my life. Work has been weird. Been really putting myself forward and giving no ducks and being bold (I think I’ll leave the autocorrect to ducks Lolol) —- but it’s either sometimes seeming like it’s propelling me forward to do that and other times seems like it’s putting myself in hot water or something negative. I will sum it up by saying a professional woman who is not afraid to speak up and try to get things done right is apparently quite threatening to men in the workplace. And it’s going over great with some and horribly with others. So where I have been focusing my energy instead of men - work - it’s like that’s now depressing me as well.

So the readings? Sometimes I think it will help me feel better. Or that I just want to know and understand. But mainly I’m just like ah fuck it. It’s not going to help a damn thing and just piss me off at myself I spent money on it.

But I’m not like berating myself about it and I can’t even say I regret anything. At the moment anyway. It’s been part of my journey part of my life.

Thank you Star. Xoxoxo love to you my friend.

[skyline]

Because it’s like if I do it if I get a reading then I will never know what would have happened if I just let things alone and didn’t get a reading. How funny is that?!? I feel like if I *dont* call about this guy or my work situation I may be more likely to have things go well than if I do. So if I break this steak and give in to wanting to get a reading about things ... then I may completely mess up the energy around either situation. And I will never know once I break that streak.

This is a great reminder and exactly how I feel now. I noticed some other posters mentioning the same thing.

After a while, you start to feel like you jinx the situation by calling.

Usually if I do call, I try to ask open ended questions, and not whether I will get this job or be with this person.

[flora0250]

I’m just going to put this little vent here ...

I am rarely getting readings now. Just now and then ... I mostly am just finding it pointless yet I’m still finding myself calling now and then about my POI.

So I called and spoke with a reader last night, I don’t want to name who at the moment, but when I asked if she could give me any insight on whether or not I would hear from him or if we would reconnect, she said that what he was relaying was: I don’t know how I could. And then the reader went on to say it was because he was involved with someone else. Which he is. And she went on to say when he thinks of me he thinks very well of me etc but that he didn’t have any intent to contact me.

It was hard to hear. Really hit me hard.

But it would have been so much easier if he just wasn’t thinking of me! “I don’t know how I could” isn’t that he doesn’t want to .... in fact it’s like “I want to but how can I because I’m with someone else.”

Ugh ugh ugh. If that’s true...... well even if it’s not but I took it as possibly true... it was just a knife to the heart. It would be easier in some ways to think that okay he just never thinks of me ever.

Just venting here. Just really hurt. But who knows I mean she’s no one I ever read with before and she has no reviews on here that I can really find.... she could have just been guessing because I told her it was someone I dated last year and so with that much info she can make certain assumptions and be a cold reader.

But it did lead me down more of a path on my healing and accepting that he’s with someone else... kind of more of what I already vented about. It’s been ridiculously slow for me. But cried a good bit more this morning and let more of that pain go.

[Star_01]

I’m just going to put this little vent here ...

I am rarely getting readings now. Just now and then ... I mostly am just finding it pointless yet I’m still finding myself calling now and then about my POI.

So I called and spoke with a reader last night, I don’t want to name who at the moment, but when I asked if she could give me any insight on whether or not I would hear from him or if we would reconnect, she said that what he was relaying was: I don’t know how I could. And then the reader went on to say it was because he was involved with someone else. Which he is. And she went on to say when he thinks of me he thinks very well of me etc but that he didn’t have any intent to contact me.

It was hard to hear. Really hit me hard.

But it would have been so much easier if he just wasn’t thinking of me! “I don’t know how I could” isn’t that he doesn’t want to .... in fact it’s like “I want to but how can I because I’m with someone else.”

Ugh ugh ugh. If that’s true...... well even if it’s not but I took it as possibly true... it was just a knife to the heart. It would be easier in some ways to think that okay he just never thinks of me ever.

Just venting here. Just really hurt. But who knows I mean she’s no one I ever read with before and she has no reviews on here that I can really find.... she could have just been guessing because I told her it was someone I dated last year and so with that much info she can make certain assumptions and be a cold reader.

But it did lead me down more of a path on my healing and accepting that he’s with someone else... kind of more of what I already vented about. It’s been ridiculously slow for me. But cried a good bit more this morning and let more of that pain go.

Please don't take anything personally here but maybe that reader is right in what they are saying, surely you would rather be told the truth than led down another garden path of "oh he will be back I promise"? You know how much they can lie, get things wrong and tell you what you want to hear and I get it, I completely get how painful it is to hear something brutal and blunt but sometimes we need to be told that to face up to reality. The reality is this person is with someone else and hasn't made any effort to come forth in a year or more and if he was really unhappy with her I'm pretty sure he would be making advances towards you by now or you'd hear somehow via signs or the grapevine and it hurts to know you want someone who has feelings for someone else as I recently got involved in a situation like that, but you were doing so well with not having readings. That's a really huge step to cut down on readings or stop them completely and you should really try to stick to that because these readings can't change the current or end result. Whether you believe in free will or fate or whatever you have to really leave things in the hands of the universe and whilst you're upset over this guy you may miss out on other opportunities.

[flora0250]

I’m just going to put this little vent here ...

I am rarely getting readings now. Just now and then ... I mostly am just finding it pointless yet I’m still finding myself calling now and then about my POI.

So I called and spoke with a reader last night, I don’t want to name who at the moment, but when I asked if she could give me any insight on whether or not I would hear from him or if we would reconnect, she said that what he was relaying was: I don’t know how I could. And then the reader went on to say it was because he was involved with someone else. Which he is. And she went on to say when he thinks of me he thinks very well of me etc but that he didn’t have any intent to contact me.

It was hard to hear. Really hit me hard.

But it would have been so much easier if he just wasn’t thinking of me! “I don’t know how I could” isn’t that he doesn’t want to .... in fact it’s like “I want to but how can I because I’m with someone else.”

Ugh ugh ugh. If that’s true...... well even if it’s not but I took it as possibly true... it was just a knife to the heart. It would be easier in some ways to think that okay he just never thinks of me ever.

Just venting here. Just really hurt. But who knows I mean she’s no one I ever read with before and she has no reviews on here that I can really find.... she could have just been guessing because I told her it was someone I dated last year and so with that much info she can make certain assumptions and be a cold reader.

But it did lead me down more of a path on my healing and accepting that he’s with someone else... kind of more of what I already vented about. It’s been ridiculously slow for me. But cried a good bit more this morning and let more of that pain go.

Please don't take anything personally here but maybe that reader is right in what they are saying, surely you would rather be told the truth than led down another garden path of "oh he will be back I promise"? You know how much they can lie, get things wrong and tell you what you want to hear and I get it, I completely get how painful it is to hear something brutal and blunt but sometimes we need to be told that to face up to reality. The reality is this person is with someone else and hasn't made any effort to come forth in a year or more and if he was really unhappy with her I'm pretty sure he would be making advances towards you by now or you'd hear somehow via signs or the grapevine and it hurts to know you want someone who has feelings for someone else as I recently got involved in a situation like that, but you were doing so well with not having readings. That's a really huge step to cut down on readings or stop them completely and you should really try to stick to that because these readings can't change the current or end result. Whether you believe in free will or fate or whatever you have to really leave things in the hands of the universe and whilst you're upset over this guy you may miss out on other opportunities.

Hi Star! Thanks for the reply and concern - I am at work so don’t have much time to write a response but didn’t want to wait because by the time I do it will probably be a while!

Agree with all you’ve said but just to clarify I think she *could* be right I’m not saying she’s wrong! But what I will say is that heck ANY of these readers could be right. Now had I said will I hear from him in X time frame and they said yes or no and didn’t give me the “time is fluid” caveat then I guess I could say one way or another. But I can’t really remember one reading where that happened lol.

So hell, any of them could be right. She could be right. But it could just as easily be a cold read assumption based on the little bit I said. Anyone who’s a good cold reader can fool anyone and there are many.

But yes she absolutely could be gifted and right and all that and the point of my post was just to vent that I’d almost rather he didn’t give a shit about me.

As far as moving on etc - yes I am don’t worry.

There is no grapevine in my world btw it’s not like we have mutual acquaintances etc. ....

And I am keeping my eyes open and heart open but as I’ve mentioned I’m in an extremely rural location and between that and being a single mom working around 50 hrs a week... well... there’s not only not a lot of availability of men to date I’m interested in - I also have very little time. So I’m not going to just spend the little that I have with someone not worth my while.

I’m sure you can understand - although you and are are in totally different places in life - so you may not realize that once you get to a certain age and have a child it limits choices even more.

Lots of love Star!

[Star_01]

I’m just going to put this little vent here ...

I am rarely getting readings now. Just now and then ... I mostly am just finding it pointless yet I’m still finding myself calling now and then about my POI.

So I called and spoke with a reader last night, I don’t want to name who at the moment, but when I asked if she could give me any insight on whether or not I would hear from him or if we would reconnect, she said that what he was relaying was: I don’t know how I could. And then the reader went on to say it was because he was involved with someone else. Which he is. And she went on to say when he thinks of me he thinks very well of me etc but that he didn’t have any intent to contact me.

It was hard to hear. Really hit me hard.

But it would have been so much easier if he just wasn’t thinking of me! “I don’t know how I could” isn’t that he doesn’t want to .... in fact it’s like “I want to but how can I because I’m with someone else.”

Ugh ugh ugh. If that’s true...... well even if it’s not but I took it as possibly true... it was just a knife to the heart. It would be easier in some ways to think that okay he just never thinks of me ever.

Just venting here. Just really hurt. But who knows I mean she’s no one I ever read with before and she has no reviews on here that I can really find.... she could have just been guessing because I told her it was someone I dated last year and so with that much info she can make certain assumptions and be a cold reader.

But it did lead me down more of a path on my healing and accepting that he’s with someone else... kind of more of what I already vented about. It’s been ridiculously slow for me. But cried a good bit more this morning and let more of that pain go.

Please don't take anything personally here but maybe that reader is right in what they are saying, surely you would rather be told the truth than led down another garden path of "oh he will be back I promise"? You know how much they can lie, get things wrong and tell you what you want to hear and I get it, I completely get how painful it is to hear something brutal and blunt but sometimes we need to be told that to face up to reality. The reality is this person is with someone else and hasn't made any effort to come forth in a year or more and if he was really unhappy with her I'm pretty sure he would be making advances towards you by now or you'd hear somehow via signs or the grapevine and it hurts to know you want someone who has feelings for someone else as I recently got involved in a situation like that, but you were doing so well with not having readings. That's a really huge step to cut down on readings or stop them completely and you should really try to stick to that because these readings can't change the current or end result. Whether you believe in free will or fate or whatever you have to really leave things in the hands of the universe and whilst you're upset over this guy you may miss out on other opportunities.

Hi Star! Thanks for the reply and concern - I am at work so don’t have much time to write a response but didn’t want to wait because by the time I do it will probably be a while!

Agree with all you’ve said but just to clarify I think she *could* be right I’m not saying she’s wrong! But what I will say is that heck ANY of these readers could be right. Now had I said will I hear from him in X time frame and they said yes or no and didn’t give me the “time is fluid” caveat then I guess I could say one way or another. But I can’t really remember one reading where that happened lol.

So hell, any of them could be right. She could be right. But it could just as easily be a cold read assumption based on the little bit I said. Anyone who’s a good cold reader can fool anyone and there are many.

But yes she absolutely could be gifted and right and all that and the point of my post was just to vent that I’d almost rather he didn’t give a shit about me.

As far as moving on etc - yes I am don’t worry.

There is no grapevine in my world btw it’s not like we have mutual acquaintances etc. ....

And I am keeping my eyes open and heart open but as I’ve mentioned I’m in an extremely rural location and between that and being a single mom working around 50 hrs a week... well... there’s not only not a lot of availability of men to date I’m interested in - I also have very little time. So I’m not going to just spend the little that I have with someone not worth my while.

I’m sure you can understand - although you and are are in totally different places in life - so you may not realize that once you get to a certain age and have a child it limits choices even more.

Lots of love Star!

Flora, I completely understand what you mean in that readers sometimes tell us "the truth" when in actual fact it's common sense or them making themselves out to be genuine and looking out for you so you one day think "well at least she was honest". It's hard because they may be honest but it isn't always psychic and more advice.

I do hope you get to meet someone one day who gives you the attention and care everyone genuinely deserves and understand being a single mother is tough and time consuming but hopefully someone will come when the time is right and take you away from the despair of wondering if this person will or will not contact again