New to the Community

[joyjoy]

Hi All

I'm new to this community and found it accidentally a few months ago--I had some technical errors, couldn't log in and just returned and it happened this time.  But, all I can say is WOW-I didn't know this existed and I felt for so long, that I must be the only person with an addiction to psychics.  I just want to say that I HATE THAT I DO THIS. I hate that I feel out of control and feel so compelled to call readers and, to use an expression from the 12-step world, I hate that I feel powerless over my compulsion to call and my anxiety.  I am working now hard to figure out a way to manage it better and not call as compulsively.  I actually find it a useful tool for work ( I work in sales and it helps me manage expectations and figure out which clients to focus on), but like many of you it gets out of control when it comes to my love life.

I've been reading on Keen pretty regularly for about 7 years now--not compulsively; just when my love life is going on.  I'm disgusted and ashamed at how much I've spend and while I should be able to pay it all soon, it's money that should have gone to bills and spent more wisely.  I justify it to myself by saying that we all have our thing, but I still hate it.  It makes me sick to think what I could have done with that money otherwise.

My latest jag has been really different than my last compulsive binge.  I've had two POIs that I've called about--for sake of ease, Fred and Barney.  I go back and read chats with readers and the amount of bullshit that they dished out was astounding--the stories that people made up and with Barney, it's very different and I've had a lot of predictions come to pass and all the readings are almost exactly the same--and many with people who I know and trust and have been right about Barney before.  And yet, I just had to talk myself out of calling again this morning--with a trusted reader that has been right about Barney, just for an "update"--but I called 5 damn readers yesterday.  I don't need an update.  I'm trying to search my soul and figure out what I'm looking for--a bad reading will send me into a spiral of freaking out and calling more readers; I won't believe a new reader who I pick at random; and an old reader who I've read with before, will probably just tell me the same timeline that I've been told by countless readers and there is nothing I can do but live my life until the time and see what shakes out.  And yet, I'm trying to figure out what I am seeking and other ways to soothe my anxiety. 

I am glad that there is this forum--and I have a lot to share about the readers because, if you're going to piss money away on Keen, might as well be with quality readers who are accurate.  And thank you for being here and reading this, because I'm writing this so I don't call QoC for an update--which I don't need.

Thank you!
Joyjoy.

[joyjoy]

Dear Still tired,

Thanks for taking the time to read and respond--and share a bit of your story. I really appreciate it.  This forum is all so new and shiny to me, because I have felt alone in this addiction for about 3 years now--it got really bad in 2017, lightened up for about 6 months between 2018-2019 and now is getting bad again. It's not as bad as it was last year, but still.  It's a coping mechanism and I hate it.  I hate myself for doing it.  I would rather walk down the street naked, and I don't have a hot body.  At all.

I don't call that much about work, but I call a lot about love--as I said in my post.  And you're right--one reading, after 9 positive ones, can bring me down and then the cycle just intensifies--but why do I even need 9 readings, lets's say??  I have had a number of psychics who know me ask me to stop calling so many readers and I can't stop myself.  What gets me is that I know the answers myself, and yet the exterior validation is what I crave--just to hear someone else tell me that I'm on the right track, even though I know I am--I can't trust myself.  I talk to my therapist and some close friends but I don't want to talk to too many friends--calling psychics feel safer because to them, I'm just a username.  For years, I overshared with friends--now, people have their own lives and they don't need to deal with me rehashing what did or didn't happen in my personal life.

I'm anxious to understand the source of it all--what validation I'm looking for and why because then I hope I can get out of it.  And why, I have to call reader after reader after reader, when they all tell me the exact same thing--especially now.  I called QoC18 in May and she said, "we talked the other day. Everything is ok.  Why are you calling me back?  Are you looking for problems?" I'm chasing my tail and I desperately want to stop.

So far, I've made it through the day without talking to anyone on Keen and that feels like an acheivement, because I've been calling at least once a day (sometimes just for a quick 3-minute hit) for the last few weeks.  Right now, I'm really in the thick of things.  Things with my POI are just coming off a rough patch and I'm so anxious about it--in my heart, I know what's going on, what will happen and that it will be ok.  And, if for some reason it's not ok with him, it'll be ok with someone else, and I'll be fine, but reminding myself of that feels really hard and I'm just eager to grab onto something.

I'd be interested to know how you stopped calling and how you talked yourself down--I'm looking for solutions.

Thank you again!!

[Girly1998]

Joyjoy,

Personally, I came on here to find trusted readers to read with but this forum actually helped almost stop my readings. Looking back at older posts, most things do not happen like the reader says or maybe they do but it’s years later. The majority of the users that were here years ago have disappeared and I wonder what ever became of them. Most people on here unfortunately call about love and it seems these readings hurt them more than it helps. It seems that POIs usually come back but not in the way you anticipated or they come back when you’ve stopped caring about them.

I found that when I would get readings I was always left with an empty feeling, even when they were positive. I never got any negative predictions but with the positive I just didn’t believe them. The logical side of me just wouldn’t allow me to believe things would work out so simply. My gut feeling has always led me to believe that if I want change then I’ll have to be the one to do it. Or maybe it’s my impulsive Aries side coming out

My urges are still there but I try to ignore them. What I look for now, if any, are empaths and remote viewers. Predictions are just going to let me down but empaths give insight if you’re wondering if you should act on something or not. At the end of the day, if it’s not happening (or is happening) then it is what it is. If you’ve done what you’ve needed to do and there no change then that just the way it is now.

I’m a firm believer in things not being predestined, I think everything happening presently is due to past choices (by either you or another person). I don’t think theres this manual on your life that will show a reader what will happen 6 months from now, I believe they just make these predictions based on what’s happening now - or just by guessing.

I came to psychics because I had absolutely no contact with my POI which is partially my fault and I struggle to get past my ego to find the answer myself. My advice is that if you have the person actively in your life right now just let it play out. Make your assumptions based on their actions and not what a reader says. If they’re positive and things don’t happen that way - you’ll be disappointed. If a reader is negative then you’ll have that in the back of your mind even if things are well. I personally allowed my insecurities and anxieties from past experiences ruin my previous relationship and I regret it deeply. Listen to how you feel. If you think things will be okay then they will be - with or without this person. And, if you ever want to talk to someone you can always message me!

[joyjoy]

Thank you so much.  I just messaged you.

I don't know what to say--it's like chasing my tail.

[joyjoy]

For me, readings became a coping mechanism, but I agree with one of the other comments: after a while, it didn't even provide the same fix, no catharsis, no peace of mind or calm to speak of, I'd even argue with psychics who were selling me a load of bull with their false hope fairy tales. At the conclusion of what has now been over 2 years in this psychic gauntlet, which has taken me to the brink of bankruptcy, I can't say that I received any benefit whatsoever from any of these readings. I have no greater sense of clarity or understanding about the past, and zero hope for the future. I'd be willing to bet that we, as clients, could actually counsel one another better than any of these money-hungry charlatans ever could, because we can actually empathize with each other's stories and experiences.

@persimmon--are you on the verge of bankruptcy from calling readers?  Also, just curious--are you calling about love or work?  curious to hear your story.

[joyjoy]

Wow--I don't know what to say but I'm so sorry that you had to endure this--from a variety of front; from this guy but also from the psychics.  Thank you for sharing honestly in this forum--sending you a lot of love and light and hoping you find peace and this forum can help give you support.

[jhuskindle]

Ive become less addicted now that I work a lot, but I promise to allow myself 2 readings a month and keep it at that, I have proven readers now so  Im not "always searching". I still wish it was 0.