Author Topic: He's ba-aaack  (Read 47666 times)

Offline Chels

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 16
Re: He's ba-aaack
« Reply #60 on: April 09, 2019, 01:58:51 AM »
Me too. It never hurts any less though, like it hurts just as much now as the first time he did it. But again that’s also due to my lack of self confidence and not standing up for my boundaries

I feel you girl. Your not alone. I’m so tempted to text him now but I’ve held out for this long & I know this is what needs to happen and he will contact this month. It’s just a waiting game & trying to worry about it lol

Offline Sweetsydney2000

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 552
Re: He's ba-aaack
« Reply #61 on: April 09, 2019, 03:10:09 AM »
It’s been 3 days for me and I’m losing my shit already lolll. But I also shouldn’t text him. Have you heard of coach Craig Kenneth on YouTube? I swear he works. He is very big on no contact.

Also not sure if you know Psychic Ari, but she’s nailed contact for me down to the hour.

Offline Beesa

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 170
Re: He's ba-aaack
« Reply #62 on: April 09, 2019, 04:28:29 AM »
Matthew Hussey on youtube is also awesome  ;)
And he's really funny.

This is one of my favorite vids https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIrQbMXBHsM
His other vids on dealing with the communication stuff and decoding it also works. And he's cute so it helps hehe
« Last Edit: April 09, 2019, 04:34:07 AM by Beesa »

Offline Sweetsydney2000

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 552
Re: He's ba-aaack
« Reply #63 on: April 09, 2019, 04:50:16 AM »
Thank you. It helps me not contact or spend all my money on readings lol xx

Offline HornetKick

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1956
Re: He's ba-aaack
« Reply #64 on: April 09, 2019, 04:19:38 PM »
Matthew Hussey on youtube is also awesome  ;)
And he's really funny.

This is one of my favorite vids https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIrQbMXBHsM
His other vids on dealing with the communication stuff and decoding it also works. And he's cute so it helps hehe
OMG he is on point though about that jerk she is having dinner with. Anytime a guy tries to make you feel bad about yourself and the great life you have, is because he is insecure and knows he would have to work hard to move up to your level. Jerks.

Oh yeah and when men are always claiming women are crazy, it's because (the man) drove a sane girl to insanity. I've said this for like a million years. At least.
« Last Edit: April 09, 2019, 04:23:18 PM by HornetKick »

Offline tacobelle914

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 87
Re: He's ba-aaack
« Reply #65 on: April 09, 2019, 07:35:33 PM »
Matthew Hussey on youtube is also awesome  ;)
And he's really funny.

This is one of my favorite vids https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIrQbMXBHsM
His other vids on dealing with the communication stuff and decoding it also works. And he's cute so it helps hehe
OMG he is on point though about that jerk she is having dinner with. Anytime a guy tries to make you feel bad about yourself and the great life you have, is because he is insecure and knows he would have to work hard to move up to your level. Jerks.

Oh yeah and when men are always claiming women are crazy, it's because (the man) drove a sane girl to insanity. I've said this for like a million years. At least.

I agree but this goes for any person really. If you have any respect for who you were with you wouldn't talk about them even after you broke up. It shows the level of respect someone has the way they talk about their past relationships. Ive known plenty of men who have been with crazy af chicks and would speak of them in a neutral manner. I dont think its always the man driving the woman to insanity. We need to stop blaming men for everything. There's a lot of great men out there. Maybe my experience is different from others because for the most part I have always come across the good ones (whether it be friends or relationships).

I think the key is whether or not the person has the strength of character to acknowledge someone they have been involved with without having to make themselves look better in some way. I find a lot of narcissistic personality types cannot speak about past relationships or friendships without pointing out in some way how they are superior (ex: 'My ex best friend wanted to be just like me, she was so clingy!' 'My last boyfriend was so crazy, I'm so glad I got away from that psycho'... if someone ALWAYS has a story like this, then at least some of them are likely exaggerations).

Offline HornetKick

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1956
Re: He's ba-aaack
« Reply #66 on: April 09, 2019, 09:09:12 PM »
Matthew Hussey on youtube is also awesome  ;)
And he's really funny.

This is one of my favorite vids https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIrQbMXBHsM
His other vids on dealing with the communication stuff and decoding it also works. And he's cute so it helps hehe
OMG he is on point though about that jerk she is having dinner with. Anytime a guy tries to make you feel bad about yourself and the great life you have, is because he is insecure and knows he would have to work hard to move up to your level. Jerks.

Oh yeah and when men are always claiming women are crazy, it's because (the man) drove a sane girl to insanity. I've said this for like a million years. At least.

I agree but this goes for any person really. If you have any respect for who you were with you wouldn't talk about them even after you broke up. It shows the level of respect someone has the way they talk about their past relationships. Ive known plenty of men who have been with crazy af chicks and would speak of them in a neutral manner. I dont think its always the man driving the woman to insanity. We need to stop blaming men for everything. There's a lot of great men out there. Maybe my experience is different from others because for the most part I have always come across the good ones (whether it be friends or relationships).
I don't agree with most of this, but are you on this forum calling about the good ones? I believe 'good' is a subjective term.
I don't believe respect has anything to do with it either. Some people are just broken. I know plenty of women who today would still take back their SO, the one who put them at their lowest. And they still talk highly about them, even the ones who put them in the hospital and/or jail. smh.

Offline HornetKick

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1956
Re: He's ba-aaack
« Reply #67 on: April 09, 2019, 09:23:39 PM »
Why do people think that because someone’s on this forum, we use psychics for the same reason lol? I have a SO and he’s one of the best humans I’ve ever come across. Like I said my experiences have been different. I haven’t had the greatest experiences with females (majority). so being broken is an excuse? Everyone has gone through things, doesn’t give people the right to degrade themselves or be insecure throughout their entire life. It’s called growing up. Insecure women are just as immature as emotionally unavailable men. People just don’t want to work on themselves it’s just the facts of life. I was insecure for a large part of my life. Sometimes you gotta put the big boy/girl pants on.
Ha Ha sure.

Offline Love-33

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 336
Re: He's ba-aaack
« Reply #68 on: April 09, 2019, 10:12:18 PM »
Hi guys, my opinion really is that if a man doesn’t contact in a regular basis, then just leave it. When a man really wants a woman real bad and sees his future with her, is the live of her life and is super into her, he would do anything to talk/be in touch. Been there done that, waiting around for contact, counting days etc.... was a waste of time and energy. I know it’s easier said than done but be strong, it’s for the best. Someone WILL treat you as you deserve and have eyes only for you

Offline Sweetsydney2000

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 552
Re: He's ba-aaack
« Reply #69 on: April 09, 2019, 10:37:45 PM »
I agree with you, however my boyfriend is battling a heroin addiction. I try not to hold on too tight and I know nothing between us could ever properly happen until he’s clean, I guess there’s that 1% chance he’ll sort his shit out that keeps me holding on.

Offline sawthelight

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1729
Re: He's ba-aaack
« Reply #70 on: April 10, 2019, 02:46:21 PM »
Hi guys, my opinion really is that if a man doesn’t contact in a regular basis, then just leave it. When a man really wants a woman real bad and sees his future with her, is the live of her life and is super into her, he would do anything to talk/be in touch. Been there done that, waiting around for contact, counting days etc.... was a waste of time and energy. I know it’s easier said than done but be strong, it’s for the best. Someone WILL treat you as you deserve and have eyes only for you

this is true.  I realize it's not a one size fits all generalization to make but I do believe that a guy who really wants you will make it known. 

Offline sawthelight

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1729
Re: He's ba-aaack
« Reply #71 on: April 10, 2019, 06:27:09 PM »
Hi guys, my opinion really is that if a man doesn’t contact in a regular basis, then just leave it. When a man really wants a woman real bad and sees his future with her, is the live of her life and is super into her, he would do anything to talk/be in touch. Been there done that, waiting around for contact, counting days etc.... was a waste of time and energy. I know it’s easier said than done but be strong, it’s for the best. Someone WILL treat you as you deserve and have eyes only for you

this is true.  I realize it's not a one size fits all generalization to make but I do believe that a guy who really wants you will make it known.

I agree. But one caveat: there are guys who like the chase or the courting period, but once they think they have you, they back off and become disengaged, or even try to turn the tables to get you to chase them. I hate to say it but I don't even believe it anymore, if they seem really into me. Those are the same guys I ended up calling about later when they changed their attitude.

Oh yea, some really do love the "thrill of the chase" but once they have you, it's like they totally back off.  It's all a game to them.  Too many headcases out there, I tell you..lol.

Offline tacobelle914

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 87
Re: He's ba-aaack
« Reply #72 on: April 10, 2019, 07:12:12 PM »
Hi guys, my opinion really is that if a man doesn’t contact in a regular basis, then just leave it. When a man really wants a woman real bad and sees his future with her, is the live of her life and is super into her, he would do anything to talk/be in touch. Been there done that, waiting around for contact, counting days etc.... was a waste of time and energy. I know it’s easier said than done but be strong, it’s for the best. Someone WILL treat you as you deserve and have eyes only for you

this is true.  I realize it's not a one size fits all generalization to make but I do believe that a guy who really wants you will make it known.

I agree. But one caveat: there are guys who like the chase or the courting period, but once they think they have you, they back off and become disengaged, or even try to turn the tables to get you to chase them. I hate to say it but I don't even believe it anymore, if they seem really into me. Those are the same guys I ended up calling about later when they changed their attitude.

Oh yea, some really do love the "thrill of the chase" but once they have you, it's like they totally back off.  It's all a game to them.  Too many headcases out there, I tell you..lol.

There are so many reasons people do the push/pull thing... but honestly, if you are not comfortable with it you shouldn't entertain it.

I have some people who come in and out of my life that don't really effect me (mostly friends and family) and some people are just made that way. If this happens a romantic connection, I've learned not to chase at all. You'd be surprised how long it takes some people to process their thoughts/feelings... and often times by the time they've figured it out the moment of opportunity has passed.

There are also attachment styles to consider. A lot of people with anxious-avoidant and fearful-avoidant attachment styles end up with those who lean towards the anxious-preoccupied adult attachment group.

So, while this behavior is not really as black and white as we might like to think, if something is unhealthy for YOU then boundaries definitely need to be put in place, and limits acknowledged imo.

Attraction is a funny thing.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2019, 07:13:43 PM by tacobelle914 »

Offline HornetKick

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1956
Re: He's ba-aaack
« Reply #73 on: April 10, 2019, 07:59:15 PM »
Where are you getting your attachment styles from?
And what other styles are there?

Offline tacobelle914

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 87
Re: He's ba-aaack
« Reply #74 on: April 10, 2019, 08:48:35 PM »
Where are you getting your attachment styles from?
And what other styles are there?

There are a lot of results if you search 'attachment styles' on Google.

It's a psychological theory that analyzes how parent/child dynamics shape attachment styles when it comes to relationships and bonds in adulthood.

Here are just a few links that explain it a bit further:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201307/how-your-attachment-style-impacts-your-relationship

https://www.psychalive.org/what-is-your-attachment-style/

http://labs.psychology.illinois.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm