I try to circle back often to give objective feedback on readers and predictions so it may be beneficial to others. A lot of what I’m going to write right now is very personal and might be alarming but I think it’s important to share. The way I see it, we are the saddest addicts. We are willing to disclose the most personal parts of our lives and drop thousands for a flicker of hope. It’s truly sad, and my heart goes out to anyone hurting right now. Anyways...
As I’ve said before, I was loosely engaged to my ex who left our home in mid May. Here’s readers info:
Kisha—Jesus. Christ. I read with her May first and it was so glowingly positive, marriage and motherhood even came up. She said my son would have British nationality but he wasn’t half British. My exes mother is English so it made sense. 2 weeks later he left me. The day he left, I received a long awaited general email from Kisha and only then did his departure come up, but in vague terms. She said in several weeks I feel we will have recovered from a bad spot and things will get back together. Well, they did, but for only a month. She kept predicting it was temporary and until October predicted at least some small attempts at salvaging things. Then in dec—she completely flipped to say he was with someone else and she doesn’t see him returning. Me and her had a big falling out over this (I considered her a friend) and she will no longer read for me.
Cookie—I hadn’t spoken to cookie in months but I got ahold of her the day we broke up. I didn’t think she would say it but she verbatim said “He’s going to leave you. I see a break up for a 3-7 period. I want you to know that he loves you.” She was really heavily laying on the comfort, I guess to cushion the blow. But he came home that night, and then he left. I talked to her a lot over the following months and still do. I cried to her because my heart was breaking. I started to have suicidal ideation and even attempted it. One night she got very firm with me and shouted “Stop thinking about suicide! He’s going to come back. I can see him coming to your house, I can literally see him in your house”
One day she kept saying “He wants to call your friend. He’s worried. Blonde. She has highlights.”
The next day he texted my friend to make sure I was ok (she’s blonde)
He did come back in a 7, called me GF again, said he was only seeing me but Cookie didn’t see that. In fact, she thought I was testing her. But the outcome was up to me. We got in a fight one day because I was upset he barely made an effort, and that was it. Cookie then yelled at me that I had ruined it. Now she sees very little In reconciliation, but says we will start speaking again. She won’t say beyond that but that I must accept his friendship if I ever want him back.
All of the info she gave me was unprompted and I did not disclose anything. She knew about my mental health and literally everything else.
And that’s where we’re at now. It’s been very sad and Christmas wrecked me. One day at a time I guess.
