What stopped me from getting readings was realising in my gut the likelihood of my ex recontacting me saying how sorry and silly he was and how he'd want to start again with me. He was the one last who upset me with his actions and he had a reason to contact me (I can't post here as it's private) and he didn't come forward at all to me with that or any reason. It was always me doing the chasing (which he was used to). My gut feeling always said that this situation between us was done and I chose to ignore it and be in denial and it was right. All of the readers said he loved me and cared and would be back, and I thought to myself "if someone really loves you, would they take this long to make contact with me?", I just highly doubt my ex still loves me like they said. Almost all didn't pick up on his narcy traits and possessive and controlling ways and something else important to my situation, so if they can't pick up that - how can they be right on his feelings and him coming back?
I began to think "why are you wasting your time, money and energy on someone who hasn't wasted a second of his time on me all year?", and realised I could move on and find someone who actually will love me and treat me with respect, rather than believe and take reader's words that he" loves" me.
I was having readings and in the end, all of them sounded the same. "he loves you but he got scared/he's busy with work/he has commitment issues/his last girlfriend hurt him so bad/he loved you too much that he was scared you'd hurt him", and there were many cases where I had an amazing reading with a reader, went and told someone what the reader had said and it turned out that they were word for word the same (like Eamon on CP). So I lost my faith in readers, I knew deep down that the situation with my ex was done and I thought to myself "
why are you getting readings if you don't believe what they are telling you? Why are you basically throwing money down the drain?" and I began to get "turned off" off readings, I also knew that if I put myself to it, I could move on from my ex and begin to start looking elsewhere. I don't have that "I love him and can't and won't see anyone else again" feeling anymore.