Super Frustrated and Should Know Better

[Miss Philosopher]

@Stilltired: I actually feel the same way. I've never been married. The thought of being married makes me feel trapped and suffocated. I won't say I'm a commitment phobe because I'm totally committed to whatever relationship I'm in. I think I just feel like I need an easy exit route just in case for whatever reason it doesn't work out. Maybe that's why I keep attracting men that have commitment problems. Like attracts like. I'm not a cheater, but yeah, I have an issue with the marriage thing, not so much the relationship thing though.

I don't want a man to take care of me because that gives him control over me and my life. I want to keep control of my own life. I want an actual equal partner where I'm not taking care of him and he's not taking care of me but we take care of each other in whatever ways and we work as a team. Maybe I'm unrealistic. I don't know.

[PrettyLittleLiz]

I've learned that you can actually tell a lot about a man by his work ethics, rental history, and even credit score. This may sound ridiculous to many but here's why.

I don't focus too much on the credit score but if it's like 4 something, and that man is 35 years of age or older, that's a red flag. That shows irresponsibility and it's highly probable that man hops from place to place to live and also job to job which brings me to my next point. If you meet a man that has a huge employment history list and notice that he only holds jobs down for a few months, or even changes jobs yearly, he's probably also the same with relationships. Unstable, inconsistent, and constantly changing his moods, and his behaviors.

If you meet a man that moves a lot either from apartment to apartment, or other people's houses, etc......it's highly probable that man also doesn't hold down a job, and also won't hold down a relationship. 

Certain behaviors and patterns bleed into ALL areas of life. I will use myself as an example. I've been on my job for 5 years. Prior to that I worked on that job for 3 years and I only changed jobs once I knew I had a new one. I responsibly made the switch and it was because I was miserable at the previous job. I've also worked since I was 15 years old and haven't siphoned off of any strangers or had any men take care of me. I'm loyal to my jobs the same as I am loyal in my relationships and friendships even. I've lived in the same apartment for 14 years. So you can see, I create stability and am able to be stable and loyal in relationships.

Men who hop around with job and home, will also relationship hop. There are men that will stay in the relationship for stability but, not hold down a steady job and will most likely cheat or break up with you often and then get back together so he can do his thing and it technically isn't "cheating".

These are all things I've learned through trial and error and a massive reflection and observation. Maybe I'm wrong. It's just stuff I noticed.

To add a bit to this, these type of unstable men are VERY VERY attracted to the stable females because we give them what they do not give to themselves. The problem is, they trample all over us because they get comfortable and feel safe and then they think they just be an absolute ass, do whatever, and us stable and consistent folks will just be there waiting, not realizing that we too have our limits.

This is genius and I agree with this 100%.

[sawthelight]

just curious, why do you think some can get psychic readings and take them with a grain of salt, etc..and others seem to get so addicted to them?

I'm sure there are people out there (probably not too many of us on this board lol) that have gotten a psychic reading or two and when they realized it was all BS, just stopped getting them and moved on with life...and yet some of us call for years still hanging on to hope?  I guess it depends on what type of personality you have..

[star1]

just curious, why do you think some can get psychic readings and take them with a grain of salt, etc..and others seem to get so addicted to them?

I'm sure there are people out there (probably not too many of us on this board lol) that have gotten a psychic reading or two and when they realized it was all BS, just stopped getting them and moved on with life...and yet some of us call for years still hanging on to hope?  I guess it depends on what type of personality you have..

Everyone's different. Some people are addicted, some have a "hey ho" mentality. Some ladies are in a weaker place, some women on here are tough cookies. Some ladies are willing to wait 5, 10, 20+ years, some women give themselves a time limit like 6 months/year max.

[Miss Philosopher]

I agree with Star1 again.

My pattern is this: When a thing first begins happening, in a bad way, I'm like in a state of shock. I get a reading and I live by it. I continue to do this, especially when they see changes for the better, even if it is only temporary. Somehow, I then "get used to" said behavioral patterns, when really, I should have cut that shit off immediately, but for whatever, reason, I don't. I continue in this pattern of readings, believing, hoping, not because I'm weak, but because I'm hopeful and mostly an optimist. But then, a point comes, to where, I get tired of the cycles, patterns, etc. and then I begin taking the readings with a grain of salt and I set a timeline for myself to when I'm going to just be done and then I reach the end of said timeline and don't see any changes and then ......I just don't have readings anymore or they are only like once every few years for shits and giggles............until the next shitty situation occurs LOL. Rinse and repeat.

I do also think it has to do with personality type. For some personalities, yeah they have a zero tolerance thing going on and first time you screw up, you're done lol. (My son is like that). Others, here are more sensitive and understanding and compassionate and those traits tend to be the very traits that keep them holding on for longer but not like 5 10 years. They will usually get tired and set timelines and that's it. Then you have those that most likely suffer from self esteem issues and those are usually the ones you will find holding on for decades. They call it love, and maybe it is, but there's more to it then that. They never get to a point where they feel or KNOW they deserve something better.

That's just my take on it.

[star1]

I agree with Star1 again.

My pattern is this: When a thing first begins happening, in a bad way, I'm like in a state of shock. I get a reading and I live by it. I continue to do this, especially when they see changes for the better, even if it is only temporary. Somehow, I then "get used to" said behavioral patterns, when really, I should have cut that shit off immediately, but for whatever, reason, I don't. I continue in this pattern of readings, believing, hoping, not because I'm weak, but because I'm hopeful and mostly an optimist. But then, a point comes, to where, I get tired of the cycles, patterns, etc. and then I begin taking the readings with a grain of salt and I set a timeline for myself to when I'm going to just be done and then I reach the end of said timeline and don't see any changes and then ......I just don't have readings anymore or they are only like once every few years for shits and giggles............until the next shitty situation occurs LOL. Rinse and repeat.

I do also think it has to do with personality type. For some personalities, yeah they have a zero tolerance thing going on and first time you screw up, you're done lol. (My son is like that). Others, here are more sensitive and understanding and compassionate and those traits tend to be the very traits that keep them holding on for longer but not like 5 10 years. They will usually get tired and set timelines and that's it. Then you have those that most likely suffer from self esteem issues and those are usually the ones you will find holding on for decades. They call it love, and maybe it is, but there's more to it then that. They never get to a point where they feel or KNOW they deserve something better.

That's just my take on it.

Someone said that when a reader tells you good news, it's been proven that dopamine releases in the brain when we hear something amazing like the ex is coming back, and that's what causes some of the addiction because people chase to get that high again. That's why people when they hear bad news, keep getting readings until they hear something that they like to "comfort" them.

I'm quite weird as a person I just impulsively decide one day that enough is enough and I'm done. Like with the first POI, I didn't think I'd get over him and one day I really had had enough and decided that that was it.

[Miss Philosopher]

Man I need some of your impulsiveness. It would do me well. Please share. Lol

[star1]

Man I need some of your impulsiveness. It would do me well. Please share. Lol

Lol 

[psychic girls]

star1 you are right looking at the reviews on keen these psychics get five star not because of there predictions but it make you feel good.

 (She didn't end chat on me!! That means a lot! She put my mind at ease even though the whole situation is still rather upsetting. Very good, patient advisor! Thank you so much!! ) This reviews on Keen are very common. 

[star1]

star1 you are right looking at the reviews on keen these psychics get five star not because of there predictions but it make you feel good.

 (She didn't end chat on me!! That means a lot! She put my mind at ease even though the whole situation is still rather upsetting. Very good, patient advisor! Thank you so much!! ) This reviews on Keen are very common.

Yeah the thing most people do is post a review after the reading when they're on the "high". But not wait until preds have passed to post a review.

[Miss Philosopher]

Yeah. I only wait until something comes to pass before I leave a review. And it can't be something small like one contact or something. It has to be something bigger than that. That's why you won't find many reviews from me anywhere other than on three of them. lol.

[star1]

Yeah. I only wait until something comes to pass before I leave a review. And it can't be something small like one contact or something. It has to be something bigger than that. That's why you won't find many reviews from me anywhere other than on three of them. lol.

Lol I'm the idiot that leaves a review right after a reading  I won't in future because people like Eamon who tell people what they want to hear and give the same readings to people... I left him a review thinking he was really good and found that out 

[star1]

I have a strong sense of duty and loyalty, so I can stick things out and be patient as long as I think the situation requires that. And I can be very compassionate forgiving. But once a person crosses the wrong line with me, I'm done and there's no going back. It's very quick. It's just a matter of how I see someone. If I bond with a person to the point that I see them as kin, I will do anything for them. If they break that bond, or I see good reason to break it, I am done and it's very quick. But I can be blind sometimes about the need to break it.

The problem with my ex was he turned out to be VERY two faced. He acted one way with me, and a different way with other people. I didn't see it at first, and the readers didn't either. And then if he acted like a jerk, they would say that's not really how he feels. I could have turned my back on it all very early on, and I wanted to badly...I remember getting readings very soon after we broke up, where I'd say, you know what I've had enough of this, I'm just going to tell him off and be done with it. And they would talk me out of it, or give me advice on what to say. THAT was where it all went wrong. I stopped acting on my own volition and followed their advice.

Predictions are one thing, advice is another, and when they give advice they overstep big time. They can be right on a lot of things from a psychic perspective, but then they throw some advice in and it's hard to set that aside as their personal opinion. I thought, well, if they can describe my ex so well and see what he is like and what happened between us, then they are giving me this advice for a reason. It all seemed very plausible. It still seems plausible, given what I knew at the time. I just didn't have the whole picture, which is what I was calling psychics for, and they failed to give me the information I needed.

just curious, why do you think some can get psychic readings and take them with a grain of salt, etc..and others seem to get so addicted to them?

I'm sure there are people out there (probably not too many of us on this board lol) that have gotten a psychic reading or two and when they realized it was all BS, just stopped getting them and moved on with life...and yet some of us call for years still hanging on to hope?  I guess it depends on what type of personality you have..

The truth sets us free. When you're not getting the truth, it creates an addiction. It sets up a false reality that has to be fed constantly to keep it alive. A lie is like a parasite that keeps draining your energy. One way or another, people who keep hanging on are not getting the truth. It may be that the readers are not giving them the truth...or it may be that the readers are giving them the truth but they are not seeing it, or someone in their life is lying to them so they don't see it. Most often, what readers say is such a convoluted mix or truth and lies that it gets hard to sort out the nuggets of truth. But somehow or another, the truth is not getting through.

I don't believe anyone really takes readings with a grain of salt. I mean people who can genuinely do that, are not going to have enough interest to bother getting readings more than once or twice on a whim. If a person is interested enough to make it a habit, and they take care to pick and choose which readers they use, they want to hear something relevant, something meaningful.

When I first started getting readings on this guy, if I heard anything I didn't want to hear, I'd become argumentative and put the phone down. "How dare they tell me anything remotely negative about him, they have no place to say that".. The reason why I'm not minding hearing good or bad news either way now, is because I learned that you cannot hide from the truth forever. You cannot polish a turd. Weirdly for me now, the more negative news seems realistic and when I get positive readings, I sometimes can feel angry with readers or like they're not being realistic. I won't argue with a reader, I'll just feel annoyed after the call and think to myself how unrealistic they're being. But yes - I was once the crazy lady who put the phone down on people.

[star1]

I was the opposite because I argued with the fairytale stuff. I never truly believed a word of it. I just couldn't dismiss it either because how could they all be wrong, and only me who was right? It was intimidating. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, in a very protracted suspension of disbelief.

The ones who were more negative, could have helped me if they had been more specific. But they were very general, or short, whereas the more positive readers were much more detailed and specific.

See that's the issue.. Even when they give bad news, most of the time it's so generic that (just because they're giving bad news) it doesn't mean to say that they're genuine.

[sawthelight]

I have a strong sense of duty and loyalty, so I can stick things out and be patient as long as I think the situation requires that. And I can be very compassionate forgiving. But once a person crosses the wrong line with me, I'm done and there's no going back. It's very quick. It's just a matter of how I see someone. If I bond with a person to the point that I see them as kin, I will do anything for them. If they break that bond, or I see good reason to break it, I am done and it's very quick. But I can be blind sometimes about the need to break it.

The problem with my ex was he turned out to be VERY two faced. He acted one way with me, and a different way with other people. I didn't see it at first, and the readers didn't either. And then if he acted like a jerk, they would say that's not really how he feels. I could have turned my back on it all very early on, and I wanted to badly...I remember getting readings very soon after we broke up, where I'd say, you know what I've had enough of this, I'm just going to tell him off and be done with it. And they would talk me out of it, or give me advice on what to say. THAT was where it all went wrong. I stopped acting on my own volition and followed their advice.

Predictions are one thing, advice is another, and when they give advice they overstep big time. They can be right on a lot of things from a psychic perspective, but then they throw some advice in and it's hard to set that aside as their personal opinion. I thought, well, if they can describe my ex so well and see what he is like and what happened between us, then they are giving me this advice for a reason. It all seemed very plausible. It still seems plausible, given what I knew at the time. I just didn't have the whole picture, which is what I was calling psychics for, and they failed to give me the information I needed.

just curious, why do you think some can get psychic readings and take them with a grain of salt, etc..and others seem to get so addicted to them?

I'm sure there are people out there (probably not too many of us on this board lol) that have gotten a psychic reading or two and when they realized it was all BS, just stopped getting them and moved on with life...and yet some of us call for years still hanging on to hope?  I guess it depends on what type of personality you have..

The truth sets us free. When you're not getting the truth, it creates an addiction. It sets up a false reality that has to be fed constantly to keep it alive. A lie is like a parasite that keeps draining your energy. One way or another, people who keep hanging on are not getting the truth. It may be that the readers are not giving them the truth...or it may be that the readers are giving them the truth but they are not seeing it, or someone in their life is lying to them so they don't see it. Most often, what readers say is such a convoluted mix or truth and lies that it gets hard to sort out the nuggets of truth. But somehow or another, the truth is not getting through.

I don't believe anyone really takes readings with a grain of salt. I mean people who can genuinely do that, are not going to have enough interest to bother getting readings more than once or twice on a whim. If a person is interested enough to make it a habit, and they take care to pick and choose which readers they use, they want to hear something relevant, something meaningful.

brilliant!  You said it much better than I ever could!