LLL: I am so sorry! That really just sucks...I am so sorry. But you took the chance...and you found out for yourself. I wish it would have worked out differently...but hopefully there is someone coming your way soon that will rock your world and put any thoughts of him to rests...I hope you are having a great time in Vegas
I'm a 50/50 at this moment...I know I am trying to rationalize everything...someone asked me today what does my gut tell me? and I couldn't answer. When ever I get a strong feeling in my gut i am always right...and I just never felt it over between us...and when we had dinner...i had such positive feelings (and nothing that readers told me even came to play in any of my thoughts or feelings) i just went with the moment and followed my heart...and I really thought I was going to have a different outcome...i came straight out and asked questions...and I just never got my answers.
I am so confused and I have so much mixed feelings that I just don't have a feeling in my gut...it all just feels so numb inside.
My friend that reads with CP regularly has her regulars and she sticks with them and they are pretty right on with her. One of them even told her that in 2011 we were going to see a lot of natural disasters and said the east coast was going to be hit hard with a hurricane in late august. This reader has always been right with her.
My other friend called me today to tell me that her predictions came to pass. She loves Jean. She calls mainly for work. Jean told her that business was going to pick up and she was going to be busy in August...and she is very busy right now...6 or 7 projects all at once. She also had asked about a client...if he was happy with her work and if he will be asking her for me....Jean said yes...but not for 2 months and he will have 2 projects for you...and that is exactly how it happened. She also told her that she will be taking a trip in September...and she is not going away with her husband for a week to destress.
Nina keeps telling me that I am making it out to be more than what it is between the 2 of them (my ex and this girl) and maybe I am. I feel like I was just meant to see it for a reason. She told me that this girl is putting her mark on everything that is attached to my ex...and that is true too...she picked up that I wanted to write and send an "i'm letting go of you" email...which is so true (i didn't tell anyone on cp) She just keeps telling me this girl is irrelevant and she just keeps stressing it.
But when I saw her write "in a relationship" this morning...it just made me feel numb inside. I didn't cry (which is a big step lol) I actually laughed and said to myself "oh...i guess he finally figured out with my second email that i know about ther" I don't know...maybe he asked her to make her page private...or maybe it has absolutely nothing to do with him...I will never know...and I have to let it go. But if it is about him...i can't see Nina's prediction coming to pass...he won't reach out to me.
I guess I am the one that is irrelevant...i am the one that is making it all to be more than what it is between me and him...if he was interested or had a care or thought about me...he would have reached out and made a move. If he had a heart or cared about me...he would have responded to my email and very nicely said "I'm sorry S...I just can't give you what you want. I just don't feel the same way about you...I wish you well blah blah blah" but no...I just got nothing.
I stand by that this girl is not his type at all and that he is 110billion% out of his element...but it is still his choice...and he chose to be with her and not with me.
I have asked him "what are your intentions with me? what is going on here with you and I?" and I just didn't get anything...he just stared at me in silence...and basically told me "we dont' know what the future holds" really? future? I am 39 years old and you are 40 years old...there just isn't much future time left. He then hugs me and doesn't let me go....what is that...why?
I just wanted hope....I just wanted to hear the truth....I just wanted a happy ending....all I did was come up empty.
I know I am going to be ok. Will I find what I am looking for? I don't know...I'm not sure it exists....but no matter what...I know I will be ok even though I am a lot more poor since discovering CP lol
I always wish for happy endings...I wish for all of us to find love and laughter and happiness.
I wish that somone on here will be able to prove the readers right and I hope that all our disappointments are lifted from our hearts and from our spirits.