The funniest things Psychics have ever told you ..

[Salted2caramel]

Mystery123's read with Diane731 got me thinking of all the crazy, funny and random things psychics have said over the years. Just for laughs what are some of the hilarious things they have said to you?

I remember speaking with AstroSarah years and years ago when asking about meeting a new partner and she told me to buy yoni eggs to prepare for the next man! bhahaha she also said that the next man I would meet would have 2 x daughters who would rollerskate everywhere and in the house and it would drive me bonkers. Ummm never happened! but was such a funny read.

[HornetKick]

I asked Luna about a civil case I was involved in and she told me that although I wouldn’t believe her, someone cast a spell on me, so I wasn’t going to win any court cases ever. I asked and got a refund.

[FaithnTrust]

SandyEster (? spelling) said my ex had not contacted me because of his sister's dog - LOL!

[HornetKick]

SandyEster (? spelling) said my ex had not contacted me because of his sister's dog - LOL!

Is that all she said about the dog; was there more too it? Did she realize by the silence how fucking ridiculous she sounded?

[mystery123]

Ooh! I have so many from bad readers which i don't remember except the one when a reader Marceejay I think asked me if I am asking about love connection or looking to get some orgasms.. .. and once a reader told me the guy thinks from his penis.
but from the good ones they have mostly been WTF statements-- like something so trivial which doesn't involve or concern me and they take 2-3 minutes explaining it. Makes me mad!

[FaithnTrust]

....I hung up on her right she said it

[HornetKick]

....I hung up on her right she said it

Burst out laughing...TY

[HornetKick]

Ooh! I have so many from bad readers which i don't remember except the one when a reader Marceejay I think asked me if I am asking about love connection or looking to get some orgasms.. .. and once a reader told me the guy thinks from his penis.
but from the good ones they have mostly been WTF statements-- like something so trivial which doesn't involve or concern me and they take 2-3 minutes explaining it. Makes me mad!

Yeah, I've gotten some of these. A reader told me there were people around me who didn't want me to succeed. Well, so? How in the hell does this help me? There are many, many people like that. She wasn't even specific enough to tell me who it was, which is basically everyone else since the industry I'm pursuing is a beast, so yeah.

[Shayalay]

This didn't happen to me but to my friend with Cookie. Cookie didn't really see anything happening with her and POI but kept insisting my friend had to get him in the ba-yed (bed) for there to be a chance. My friend was not about to make the first move and kept brushing Cookie. Friend then tried to get a prediction about a committed relationship and Cookie irritatedly and frustratedly said, "Committed rela- ! You cain't ask about committed, you ain't even got him in the ba-yed!!" We DIE every time we hear that part of the recording, hahahahaha  It's not so much what she said as how she said it. LOL

[Apalm831]

I forget who it was, someone on keen but...

"No, he's not coming back. And, oh my god, the way he carries on! He's gonna get an STD! Oh my God!"

[Calleronhiatus]

The funniest thing a reader ever said to me was that she saw my ex doing drugs in a red car and I should offer him help. It wasn't the least bit true. She made it sound so intense. It was someone on PsychicAccess.

[britbrat]

JIM1537 on keen told me that my ex husband was going to give me an std and get another woman pregnant. None of this ever happen btw, but the thing was he told me one of my deceased relatives were coming through giving this information. He is a very negative man I think he hates men. This was before we were even engaged or married and he never cheated.

[njlady]

JIM1537 on keen told me that my ex husband was going to give me an std and get another woman pregnant. None of this ever happen btw, but the thing was he told me one of my deceased relatives were coming through giving this information. He is a very negative man I think he hates men. This was before we were even engaged or married and he never cheated.

I used to get readings from him way back in 2002 or thereabouts.  He wasn't all gloom and doom  and was very nice to me. I know he has been a real downer for a lot of people, but he helped me a lot. Something really bad happened to me and I felt like he was the only person I could talk to about it.  He was very honest and admitted that he hadn't seen it coming at all. I haven't spoken to him in about 14 years, but it's good to see he is still around.

[bluebelle]

Ooh! I have so many from bad readers which i don't remember except the one when a reader Marceejay I think asked me if I am asking about love connection or looking to get some orgasms.. .. and once a reader told me the guy thinks from his penis.
but from the good ones they have mostly been WTF statements-- like something so trivial which doesn't involve or concern me and they take 2-3 minutes explaining it. Makes me mad!

OMG that's hilarious!  I read with Marceejay a LONG time ago, yea a big no.  LOL

I guess my funniest (kinda) was with happy2174 or something, she told me first call the guy I was calling about was  "whore" and kept repeating it LOL.  second call he was a nice guy 
don't ask what made me call back a second time LOLOL

Also waterqueene:  asked her about a job situation earlier this year, was wondering about my boss retiring.  she said the company will not let you go even if your boss retires.  My boss IS the company, and if he retires, that's it!  LOL.  she even threw in something like she sees me sitting across the desk from a dark haired woman, LOL..no such person.  Was like she was making it all up.

[5neatguysGAL]

That's funny about Happy2174. I guess "whores" can repent and be nice, haha!!!

For me, a psychic once said, "Now, [my real name], this man cannot keep an erection."