Author Topic: Need your point of view regarding a text...  (Read 18630 times)

Offline Love-33

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Need your point of view regarding a text...
« on: May 19, 2017, 07:45:03 PM »
Hello all :)

Sorry I know this is probably not the right place to ask this, but as this section is the most read then I thought I'd post it here. I'm starting to have doubts on my boyfriend.
He used to be dating a girl when he was in Australia for a few weeks while he was on long holiday there ( before we started being in a relationship which is pretty recent). Bummer, she was only an expat there and is now back in the U.K. Apparently, they catched up!
I saw this conversation on his phone while he was in the shower:

Her: sorry I may have forgotten to say thank you for the drinks and dinner so...thank you very much.
Him: you're welcome! It was fun catching up. When you get a job you can buy me a drink ( :P). Let's do it again sometime. Goodnight x


Be honest... does it look only friendly to you or does it look like he is interested in reconnection romantically with her

Offline Sooshi

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Re: Need your point of view regarding a text...
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2017, 08:07:09 PM »
Doesn't sound like anything happened. Sounds like he's keeping her in the wings just in case. Are you guys having any problems?

Offline Baypark1

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Re: Need your point of view regarding a text...
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2017, 08:20:54 PM »
I agree.  It sounds like it was just a friendly meeting.  However, he should have told you about it BUT you shouldn't be snooping on his phone either.  You need to trust him!

Offline Love-33

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Re: Need your point of view regarding a text...
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2017, 08:21:27 PM »
Doesn't sound like anything happened. Sounds like he's keeping her in the wings just in case. Are you guys having any problems?

Well, he apparently paid for her drinks and dinner. If he didn't like her he wouldn't have offered that. Nor would he have suggested seeing her again after this catch up.
This is enough to hurt me.

Offline cosmogirl76

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Re: Need your point of view regarding a text...
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2017, 08:27:16 PM »
If I were you I'd be open about it. Just confess you snooped on his phone, that it was totally inapropriate, but that you are having some weird feelings regarding him seeing that girl. Try and speak from your own emotions, not like you should have this or you that....just say I feel like, or it makes me feel insecure or ..... well you get the idea. If you dont discuss this, this will stand between you and will probably go down hill. If there's no trust there's basically no foundation

Offline Baypark1

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Re: Need your point of view regarding a text...
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2017, 08:32:34 PM »
Doesn't sound like anything happened. Sounds like he's keeping her in the wings just in case. Are you guys having any problems?

Well, he apparently paid for her drinks and dinner. If he didn't like her he wouldn't have offered that. Nor would he have suggested seeing her again after this catch up.
This is enough to hurt me.

I'd be freaking out as well so you're normal.  I agree you should just sit down and talk with him rationally.  He said "let's do it again sometime". That doesn't mean he's interested in her.  Just ask him if you're exclusive and if he says no, then you get your butt out there and date someone and let him know about it :)

Offline Love-33

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Re: Need your point of view regarding a text...
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2017, 09:17:49 PM »
I couldn't wait to see him again, I actually just called him. Well to me that's pretty clear. He said:
- I shouldn't have looked his phone
- it was a friendly meeting and nothin happened, just a friendly catch up. But then I asked him why does he plan to "do it again sometime"? (It's not like it was an old friend of his, I would have understood, but here in this case they used to DATE !)He said that (I'm devastated):
" well, maybe because now that she is back I'm confused"
I said: be honest... you like her don't you. Not many people want to see people they have dated in the past again unless they still like them or at least are curious about them and still have some interest".
He said: I wish you wouldnt have seen that. But now that you have, the only thing I can say is I'm lost and confused.

I hung up. I may sound like a crazy person but seriously I don't want to deal with guys like that anymore
 
Conclusion: my guts were right. I mean it wasn't too hard to guess it. Any man that wants to meet up with a person they used to date and then, after that meet up suggest doing it again, it's obvious that they still have at least a bit of interest

Offline Alchemist13

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Re: Need your point of view regarding a text...
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2017, 09:28:45 PM »
:( sorry hon.

Offline cosmogirl76

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Re: Need your point of view regarding a text...
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2017, 09:38:18 PM »
So sorry :-( but at least you had the courage to confront him! Major respect for you!! Many of us would be scared to hear what their guts was telling them and therefor dont confront them at all. At least you have enough self worth. Even though it sucks and hurts like hell

Amb

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Re: Need your point of view regarding a text...
« Reply #9 on: May 19, 2017, 09:43:46 PM »
Always listen to your gut........we are more perceptive than we think. Been there in the exact situation. And my intuition was right on. So sorry hon!

Offline Love-33

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Re: Need your point of view regarding a text...
« Reply #10 on: May 19, 2017, 10:02:24 PM »
Thanks all... I'm very sad but I'm glad this is happening now (only two months of dating) rather than later.
I'm trying to tell myself that he hasn't cheated but at least I saved myself from being with someone who seemed to want starting to double date and then pick his favorite (I hate double dating).
Even though his date with her was friendly, the fact that he wanted to see her again seemed too weird to me. I call it double dating still. Again, she was not an old friend of his, or anything like that. So to me, they went on an actual date and seems like it looked like it (he paid for her drinks, her dinner... how cool it must have been for her. I'm pretty sure he didn't even tell her he was already dating someone).
Anyway I need to change my mind. Just booked a flight to spend a few days with my family at my hometown. Im leaving tomorrow and will be back in London on tuesday.

Offline Alchemist13

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Re: Need your point of view regarding a text...
« Reply #11 on: May 19, 2017, 10:05:26 PM »
Thanks all... I'm very sad but I'm glad this is happening now (only two months of dating) rather than later.
I'm trying to tell myself that he hasn't cheated but at least I saved myself from being with someone who seemed to want starting to double date and then pick his favorite (I hate double dating).
Even though his date with her was friendly, the fact that he wanted to see her again seemed too weird to me. I call it double dating still. Again, she was not an old friend of his, or anything like that. So to me, they went on an actual date and seems like it looked like it (he paid for her drinks, her dinner... how cool it must have been for her. I'm pretty sure he didn't even tell her he was already dating someone).
Anyway I need to change my mind. Just booked a flight to spend a few days with my family at my hometown. Im leaving tomorrow and will be back in London on tuesday.

The fact he didn't tell you about seeing her tells you something too. :(

Offline Love-33

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Re: Need your point of view regarding a text...
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2017, 10:08:11 PM »
Thanks all... I'm very sad but I'm glad this is happening now (only two months of dating) rather than later.
I'm trying to tell myself that he hasn't cheated but at least I saved myself from being with someone who seemed to want starting to double date and then pick his favorite (I hate double dating).
Even though his date with her was friendly, the fact that he wanted to see her again seemed too weird to me. I call it double dating still. Again, she was not an old friend of his, or anything like that. So to me, they went on an actual date and seems like it looked like it (he paid for her drinks, her dinner... how cool it must have been for her. I'm pretty sure he didn't even tell her he was already dating someone).
Anyway I need to change my mind. Just booked a flight to spend a few days with my family at my hometown. Im leaving tomorrow and will be back in London on tuesday.

The fact he didn't tell you about seeing her tells you something too. :(

Exactly!
(If he did, I would never have agreed anyway lol. What? Catching up with someone you used to date? No way. No point ! unless some interest is-obviously- still here )

Offline Alchemist13

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Re: Need your point of view regarding a text...
« Reply #13 on: May 19, 2017, 10:11:22 PM »
Man, this sucks.  I hope it works out for you.

Offline Love-33

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Re: Need your point of view regarding a text...
« Reply #14 on: May 19, 2017, 10:13:18 PM »
Also I think I'm overthinking now but when I re-read their conversation... this "Let's do it again sometime. Goodnight x " appears too friendly to me. to send this to a woman with that little cute "x" at the end... this is too cute. I mean none of my male friends say goodbye to me this way.

 

anything