My Story

[Hopfullness]

Hi all,

I've been around these boards for many years but I rarely post. I just like to read people's experiences and occasionally ask questions.
 
I've read with so many since 2012/2013, from Aries I, to Sincerity, Joeana, Samantha from Keen, Eden, Lady Persephone, Ness21, Northstarjulie, Ms Dream, Queen of Cups, Travis London, Jenny Alton, Yona....and the list honestly goes on and on.

I only read with Ness21 once. It was years ago. I remember she said "oh no, this woman won't come forward" and I felt super dejected and deleted my notes (ugh!)  Keisha never saw huge promise "in the next six months" either. She'd sometimes say "yes there are feelings there but also too much fear". I tried not to be deflated. I remember Jenny Alton saying that it wouldn't be an easy road and after it looked like all hope was lost things would come back and we'd get the chance to be together. Lady P has been my week-to-week go-to advisor. She's been amazing at keeping me buoyed, and at helping me expand my mind by giving me alternative perspectives on different situations.

But in reality, I met this woman in 2009 and we got super close and then completely parted ways in Jan 2015 after a big argument. I still see POI every week and every time my heart aches. And it's now 2016 for crying out loud. She's still single, I'm still single....and while we used to be great friends, we no longer interact.

I have to move on. I have to actually grow. Whether or not we end up together, I need to grow through this experience, rather than remaining so needy and dependent on having this illusive thing show up in my life.

In the interests of doing so, I've cut ties with all psychic advisors.

I really needed psychics. I have never fallen so hard or deep in my life as I did for this woman. And it's been difficult to discuss with friends due to the circumstances, so psychics have performed the role of friends for me. Many of them have great instincts and excellent insights.

But now I'm at a point where I'm strong enough to acknowledge that while there's great attraction between me and said woman, it may not be what's meant to be. After all, it has been 7 years already!

So now rather than yearning for her, I'm changing my wish. I can't want this anymore, I'm tired. Now my wish is that I grow strong enough to be my own guide. I want to go further, deeper inwards and trust things work out as they need to.

It's not an easy goal to reach, I know. But with the wish and by making a new habit of going inward for all my answers, I think I can get there.

Good luck to you all.

[Jjj]

I hope you are in a better place. Stay strong and postive. Always keep faith and hope alive no matter what

[Grounded]

Man I wish there was a like button right now!

[bagalagaa88]

You do you!
I must say Lady P does give some good advice.

Glad to see you taking time to do what you feel is best. I know you haven't posted a lot of details about your situation, but is this POI someone you had a romantic relationship with previously or were they always just a friend?

[FaithnTrust]

That's awesome!! You can't lose when you put yourself first!

[moonlight412]

 How did it go for you?

Almost my story! It's 2 years instead of 7..  I have prayed whereever I could, have asked asked asked anywhere and everywhere for him to be back in my life..done loa, paychics tried to let go and ehat not..  I just can't seem to get over him, but I think I am exhausted now.. I feel I need to focus on myself more, love myself more and let him go even though I have to seem him daily.. maybe we are not meant to be! And I have to accept that! I try so hard but I still think about him.. I feel I am blocking any new energy to come into my life and missing out on true love..

Can anyone share any insights as to what they did?

[Hopfullness]

Hello,

I'm sorry to read of your struggle. It can suck the lifeforce out of you! The last seven years have been so aging on me.

I still see her and there's always this innuendo but THAT'S ALL. We aren't dating, not even close.

Yesterday I was walking along and she came to my mind. I realized I'd not thought of her like most of the day. Wow.
I thought to myself "well, that just seems like history now". Right then I looked up and there I was in front of a store with her name
on the sign -- it was the brand name of the store. I just couldn't believe it. I think of her and then she's there in the weirdest ways.

Also, recently in the middle of the day I felt a lot of sexual energy towards her. I honestly think it was coming from her because it was just the most
random thing out of nowhere and I felt possessed for a good half hour! Lol.

But NOTHING has happened that's of substance. We are not together and I have little hope. I don't reach out to her ever, I don't imagine our future together
anything like as frequently as I used to. I just had to cry this one out and then let the pain sit there but not over identify with it. That's the only way I could
make any progress (by progress I mean find any peace around this).

My emotions towards her still fluctuate a lot. Sometimes I feel love, sometimes attachment, sometimes just full blown resentment. I feel she has ruined my life
in many ways but part of me knows that's not true - I chose this.

I hope your situation turns out differently than mine. I hope  you don't lose yourself over this person. I have done that and now I have to somehow find my way
back to normalcy. It's been a harrowing journey.

[moonlight412]

Thanks for your reply! It was like I was reading my own story when you mentioned the name of the store. If I see his name or anything related to him somewhere, then I feel it's a sign and this and that and hope and what not..lol.. but now, I am getting tired, even when I try to visualize I can't. I don't even know if I want this because I don't feel any love or joy in my heart. But, well, I won't give anymore negative energy to it and will cancel this thought..your post kind of snapped me back into reality, that sometimes manifestations happen and sometimes don't, maybe we are not vibrating at same level.. I will let him go and just focus on feeling great and loving myself enough.

If you haven't already, then please try tapping(EFT) it will help you a great deal..and for next 30 days let's tap and visualize that we are with a person who loves us and we love them (because I have been on the other side too, when I just couldn't love the other person, even though they were great friends and perfect, and this thought helps me understand why the guy I like can't love me).. If nothing, then we will have our imaginary boyfriend and girlfriend

Much love and positive vibes your way!

[Hopfullness]

Thanks for the suggestion. I haven't tried tapping (consistently) but have thought about it in the past.

In truth, none of us know what the future holds. I hope her and I can have the courage to find happiness whether or not it
involves each other.

Not sure who you read with but just wanted to add that the most down to earth, realistic reader in my experience is LadyP. She's
always felt the connection and also warned me of the complications she saw. So if you ever need support, I would reco her. No
seeming fairytales.

Good luck!

[bluebelle]

Thanks for the suggestion. I haven't tried tapping (consistently) but have thought about it in the past.

In truth, none of us know what the future holds. I hope her and I can have the courage to find happiness whether or not it
involves each other.

Not sure who you read with but just wanted to add that the most down to earth, realistic reader in my experience is LadyP. She's
always felt the connection and also warned me of the complications she saw. So if you ever need support, I would reco her. No
seeming fairytales.

Good luck!

Agreed, Lady P is the best.

[moonlight412]

I will try her next time! Thanks for the suggestion!

[bluebelle]

I will try her next time! Thanks for the suggestion!

Def try to go thru her site...much more reasonable than paying by the minute on Keen..just my two cents lol.

[Baypark1]

How did it go for you?

Almost my story! It's 2 years instead of 7..  I have prayed whereever I could, have asked asked asked anywhere and everywhere for him to be back in my life..done loa, paychics tried to let go and ehat not..  I just can't seem to get over him, but I think I am exhausted now.. I feel I need to focus on myself more, love myself more and let him go even though I have to seem him daily.. maybe we are not meant to be! And I have to accept that! I try so hard but I still think about him.. I feel I am blocking any new energy to come into my life and missing out on true love..

Can anyone share any insights as to what they did?

Oh boy, this sounds like me. Luckily, I never pined for 2 years.  The first one was 9 months, 2nd one for 4 months and this one for 4 months.  I've recently gotten to the point of not giving  a crap anymore about him, focusing on me and moving forward. I think what the most important thing for me was to figure out WHY I was hanging on to someone that didn't want me.  If I think about it long enough, I came to the conclusion I must just be a nut case.  Who does that?  Well, for me, I do it because I have fear I will never find that "connection" again.  (bullcrap)  I also have a huge issue with rejection.  So, I had to dig deep as to WHY. It's been a process and not a quick one.  Louise Hay "You can Heal your Life" is a great start.  It's like therapy in a book.  If you are honest with yourself, you will find the answers and will be able to address them.  I also recently did a pros and cons list on the POI.  When I see it on paper that the cons list has 30 things and the pros has 5, yeah, it kind of slapped me upside the head.  I wonder if it's some kind of weird "addiction" we have and we crave.  It's hard to put into words what I'm trying to say. Kind of like I'm addicted to the feeling of rejection and hurt? Does that make sense? I don't know.  But, that's what I have been doing. I think it's very important to work on yourself at this time.  I did a 30 day plan for myself of things I was going to do to focus on me and help me move forward.  Things like changing my thoughts when he pops into my mind, positive affirmations in place of thinking about him (ie. I deserve someone who wants to be with me, he is not someone that deserves me, I don't want him),  praying, meditating and affirmations daily, exercise 3 times  a week, work on You can Heal your life daily....stuff like that.  It's all a matter of changing our thoughts and actions.  But it's really hard.  I hope you can work through this because YOU are the most important and deserve happiness and feel free!!!

[stargazer]

Lady P may be good for some but she was dead wrong for me. Thank god

[Baypark1]

Lady P may be good for some but she was dead wrong for me. Thank god

me too, completely wrong