William

[cj]

I think there comes a point that it is absolutely healthy to just let go. It hurts but it hurts more thinking that you should hold on. My ex came back a year later...if I waited hoping and pinning my faith on him then I would be screwed. Glad when he came back..@ that point I could care less.

P.S. even though he came back I dont think he's changed..another thing to think about

[sammiepoo]

 I am happy for ya

[cj]

cocoa...it always sucks when you think theyre happier without you...but men dont show their emotions and feel sorry for theirselves like we do..if you want him  to go crazy act like you're happy too

[cj]

oh sammie ...lol...

[sammiepoo]

Thanks i will try that

[cocoapple]

I know what you guys are saying...he is the type that will not show emotions in front of others.  When he missed me a lot, he never actually TELL me, it's always in txt because he can't express himself fully unless it's in tx or when he's tipsy/drunk.  That's when all the 'truth' comes out and he remembers it too the next day but he once said he's more 'bold' when he's tipsy. 

I will try guys, live happy, be happy.  Life goes on.  I'm greiving for the lost of my bf and bestfriend through college.  Our group of friends were in the same class ALL 3 years, we ate together, study together....the longest we were a part was during Xmas holidays from school so this is heartbreaking.  I was planning my birthday dinner last night on fb and it kills me that i can't even invite him.  Last year (before we went out), him and my close friends surprised me on my birthday.  I invited them out for dinner and EVERYONE said they were busy   He told me he's got a date with a ladyfriend which broke my heart because i had a huge crush on him then.  But when my friend (who i thought was the only one to spend bday dinner with me) brought me to the greek restaurant, there they were, ALL OF THEM.  Later on when we started going out, during one drunken night...he spilled infront of me and my friend that there WAS no ladyfriend and that he wouldn't miss my bday for anything.  So i'm kinda bumed out at the moment............piling myself work after work at work lol....just so i can get him off my mind but it's hard.  I miss my best friend....

I know what you mean CJ, for you it's like if you don't see the change in them, you'll just fight over the same stuff again so for that to work, SOMETHING has to change. 

[kiki155]

Cocoa, I think it's good you're focusing on work, but I think you should do something fun. But you don't feel like being happy, right? You'd rather just wallow in the miserable stuff right now? I get that, too. But, if you can...just do something for yourself. Get a pedicure. Go see that Bridesmaids movie with a girlfriend. Go work out. Go for a walk. Etc., etc.

I completely understand that part about losing your best friend. I am usually more sad about losing my dude's friendship than the romantic part of the relationship (although I obviously miss that too.)

All of us totally get it, and we are here for you.

[sammiepoo]

What I am trying to do is I am trying to get my mind off Elvin but I cant seem to get my mind off of him This is sad!! He is my best friend and he has to be a stuborn ass!! Well that is Elvin for you always being so stinking stuborn, he has to have it his way or its no way

[kiki155]

Sammie, I personally think if you want to get your mind off Elvin, you need to stop talking about him. Fake it till ya make it.

I have gone "cold turkey" on my guy in the past. For me that means:
No looking at his Facebook page
No reading over old emails
No looking at old pictures
Not saying his name
Not talking about him
If the thought of him comes to my mind, I "send him on his way."

You are very young and have sooooooo many fabulous years ahead of you. If you and Elvin are meant to be, you definitely have time to figure that out. But I think if you truly want to get your mind off him, stop wasting your precious brain space and time on him.

Just my two cents. Please take it as "older sister" type advice and not preachy.

[sammiepoo]

Okay but where best friends and thats all I care about

[cocoapple]

Oh kiki!  It's funny how you mentioned 'Bridesmaid' because my gf just text me if i wanna catch the movie tonight after work!  Perhaps you are psychic?    And yes, i'm going tonight!  Instead of going home and stare at my cellphone to see if William and Barbie's predictions comes true, i'm going out dammit! >.<

Going cold turkey is super hard..........i should stop checking my fb..-_- but when he comments he's right there!  Our college friends are common so it's hard to miss really....-_- but i'm getting better.  When i see his posts my heart doesn't drop no more....more like a 'meh' moment.

I am so glad i have you guys here.  Family doesn't understand and friends, well...you can only whine so much especially if they know both of you so you don't want to share too much to the point they have to choose sides.  So i am glad that there's this forum available where no ones knows who we are but just share the same 'situation' so we can relate, share stories and help each other out of this hole. 

I'm glad that CSk and CJ have success stories   Sammiepoo, no more mentioning 'he who cannot be named' ok?  We need to dehumanize them so it's easier for us to be impartial!  You are still far too young........you will experience many more loves to come.  Take it from another big sister~

[sammiepoo]

shoot making me feel like I am in a Harry Potter book or movie lol. why does everybody treat me like a child lol I am 20 I guess I am young lol I will go to my room now big sisters lol

[cj]

your not the only one who felt sad over their bday bc of a breakup..its like the universe is testing us! and it freaking hurts!

Even  though I spent my bday with my sm it was awkward..it was the 1st time I had seen him since the baby news...I felt stupid for going but I wanted to celebrate my bday with him and I felt like I deserved it and I wanted him to make it up to me so...I said hey why not

[sammiepoo]

Oh wow! I understand totally

[kiki155]

Sammie, I'm 33. I remember being 20 and how it felt to be in love with a guy and all of that. I'm not saying Elvin isn't your soulmate. I'm just saying you are powerful with or without him.

Cocoa, I actually am a little psychic.  I've heard that movie is hilarious.