Hello All,
I have been reading this board for a few months now and have been wanting to write this for a while. Take from it what you will, but I see myself in so many of you and I remember what t feels like to be there.
Three years ago I got involved with someone who turned out to be the worst thing ever for me. BUT I was in love and so couldn't see it at the time. No matter what he did (cheating on me with prostitutes, telling me I was only a rebound, having several relationships at the same time, calling ME crazy for questioning anything he did, withdrawing and withholding affection etc etc) I wanted this man because I believed that if he could only see that I was the right one for him he would want to be with me. I had to convince him that I was the one to change his ways for.
I was in a terrible place. Where many of you are now. One day I was playing around on Itunes and discovered the radio stations on there and found a talk show where Ellen Hartwell was doing readings. I had never paid for a per minute psychic and never thought I would. That was in April 2009. I listened to her and googled the site she was working on at the time. I called right away. I became curious about her and how accurate she was because she told me it would be 6-8 weeks before he would come around. She even laughed when I told her that he told me I was a rebound and he felt nothing for me. "Is that what he said? He's lying to you." (by the way, up until last Fall Ellen STILL said it would work out. He's coming back. He has since proposed to one of the prostitutes, gotten a 50 year old woman pregnant and is generally still a man whore)
So I discovered that she had worked for California Psychics and here was this whole site of psychics. I was in heaven. For a year I spent my entire salary (ENTIRE and then some) on readings. Timelines would come and go. There was a time I had read with every single one on there. Natalie kept telling me 2-4 weeks for about 6 months. Jaqueline too. Nina was my "saviour". Seha kept pushing timelines back when I called. Eventually (after a year) she said "It sounds like I have been giving you hope and time frames, so now I'm just going to tell you to let go of him". Huh?
I kept calling the ones who told me he was coming back. I had 5 notebooks full of notes that I carried around with me and read all the time to keep my spirits up. He was coming back to me.
Kelli deserves a special mention here. When I found out about the prostitutes and called her, she told me to grow up. It's just sex. I'm the one he loves.
I disregarded the ones who told me the truth. Ciarra gave me the best reading on him ever. She was creepy accurate. She nailed every aspect of his personality, our relationship, everything. I knew deep down that she was right, but I wasn't ready to see it.
About a year ago I admitted my problem to my sister. I never had money but was making thousands of dollars a month. I closed my account after my last reading with Elise was "He will either come back or he won't." Really? I gave my credit card to my sister and she helped me through it. I realise now that all that waiting was wasting my life. Don't get me wrong I still like to have readings lol, but it's only very occassionally.
I found another website that helped me identify what this guy was all about and how I could never have made it work with him. And best of all it's free lol. I read it everyday and it helps me retain my sanity. I still care about the person I thought he was but I've come to realise that person never existed. It took me a long time to see the reality of the situation, but this is what I wish for you. Everyone deserves a happy healthy relationship. I'm not in one because I don't trust myself enough yet to make the best decisions for myself. But I am realising what's healthy and what's not. I now have boundaries that I never did before. And best of all I am not driving myself crazy calling psychics and waiting for timelines.
Sorry I know this board is for reviewing psychics that you read with but I had to write this I hope it helps even one person to know there is someone who has been there. And the world did not end when I started putting myself first.