Nothing makes sense anymore

[tired of it all]

Hello everyone.  I'm new here.  I just found this site a couple of months ago and have just been reading and thinking about posting.  It's just so overwhelming to even figure out where to begin telling my story.  I have had readings with well over a hundred different psychics in the last 8-9 years...probably more.  I really can't stand to think how many readings I've had, how much money I've spent and how much emotion I've wasted over what they told me.

Some of the readings I've had have been helpful...definitely not so much in terms of predicting the future, but for understanding the past and the present.  But it seems like it takes a tremendous amount of trial and error to get that.  And unfortunately it comes mixed in with a lot of other things that are NOT helpful, like weird inaccuracies, or fairytale predictions, or the reader rambling on about themselves or at worst a lot of emotional manipulation.  I've had some really horrible experiences too, with one reader especially.   

I have seen people leave so much positive feedback and testimonials for readers and I wondered why my experiences were so different.  A few times when I left negative (aka, honest) feedback the other clients would actually attack me for it in their feedback.  I keep thinking there must be something really wrong with me because things don't work out for me like they do for others.     

I am not the kind of person to blindly believe in anything they might say, and ironically I think that makes it worse for me.  Maybe if I could just believe them and relax, things would unfold like they say.  But I am very skeptical and I want to keep questioning and digging deeper until I really get to the bottom of things.  It's hard to understand how a reader can be so accurate and right about some things and still get something else completely wrong. 

At this point what I am struggling with the most is nothing really makes any sense anymore.  I've been told so many different things, and some of it is contradictory, and a lot of it I have no way to really verify whether it is accurate or not.  I just want to know the truth, the plain, honest to god truth about how things are. 

[tired of it all]

Thank you for the response and the kind wishes.

I have taken breaks from getting readings, up to several months at a time.  Unfortunately it does not help.  What drives me back to it is that I get psychic information myself and messages from my spirit guides that I don't know whether to believe or not.  I feel like I have to check in with someone else to see if they pick up on anything similar.  I usually don't mention any of that to them, I just ask a question on that topic to see what they get.

What my guides tell me turns out to be right most of the time.  But on one particular issue, things have not panned out quite like they said.  This is the main issue I have been trying to resolve.  I have spoken with a few readers about this specifically trying to get down to the bottom of it.  Some say that what they told me was true and it just hasn't happened yet.  Others say yes it was true but by the time it happens I'm not going to want it anymore.  Others say that I misinterpreted the messages from my guides or just believed what I wanted to hear.  That doesn't even make sense because at the time all this started I really did not want to hear what they were telling me.  I also can't dismiss any of it as a misinterpretation because a fair portion of what they told me has been accurate.  I just don't see how the ultimate outcome can possibly work out in the long run.  It would take a miracle. 

Worse there have been several unexpected twists and turns that my guides did not warn me about, and neither did any of the readers I spoke with.  I felt like I got totally blindsided and it really shattered my trust in...well pretty much everything...my guides, myself, my spirituality and basically my entire footing in this reality.  If meditation or journaling would have solved this I'd be a-ok right now.     
 

[FaithnTrust]

Hi TOIA!

I have been where you are!! All I can tell you is that the messages you are receiving are correct! The piece you are missing is to trust them!
When I started listening and trusting to the messages I was receiving, I looked back and realized that I was the most accurate reader of them all....LOL! Who knew?! At times, I would also go to a reader for clarification, which usually only confused me more. In time, the answers and validations were always confirmed that I was "hearing" my guides correctly 


Faith n trust

[tired of it all]

Thank you FaithnTrust.  Yes trust is definitely what I am missing.  It's really hard to trust my guides at this point because I feel like they have been wrong about certain things.  Sometimes it has been like they were mostly right up until things suddenly took a twist and went in a different direction.

One reader told me, if you feel like you can't trust your guides anymore, or anything else, can you at least trust yourself?  She thought the reason I had been going through all of this was to learn to trust what I know for myself.

I realize my guides aren't all-knowing.  They can't see everything.  They have a different perspective than I do, and they can see things that I am not aware of, but at the same time they do not walk in my shoes and see things through my eyes. 

It's the same when talking to a psychic, they may be able to pick up on some things that I don't see clearly.  But they don't see or feel all the things I know about my own life.  Most of the time I have a pretty strong knowing about whether what they say is true or not.  Getting readings has definitely given that sense of knowing a lot of exercise so to speak.  I'd say it is a lot stronger now because of all the readings I've gotten. 

What is most confusing is when a psychic is right about x, y, and z, but gets a and b completely wrong.  They might get something really deep and significant, but miss something really obvious that you'd think anyone would see.  Or they get a lot of small details right but then get the bigger aspects wrong.  It can be really mind boggling.