Saying Goodbye to my friend and forum member

[Nottakingthebait]

Hello Everyone,

I have not been here in over a year, I have missed many of you and others I still communicate with outside of this forum.


However, I am not here to share about my readings because I think those of you who have been on this forum for any length of time know that the readings do not turn out like the story that was told.

I let go of the demon that haunted me and that was the readings.  I found a beautiful friend through this forum and she has been to hell and back with me through out the process.  It is because of the friendship that I found here, not just one but several, that I stopped the vicious cycle of disappointment and unrealistic expectations.

The reality of how much readings impact our lives became apparent Sunday, Feb 14, 2016.  Sunday started out nice, flowers from my love, cards, candy and my children making breakfast for me after all it was Valentines Day right?  I received a text message and the news brought me to tears, disbelief, shock, anger and many other emotions and feelings.  The message was one that no one wants to receive, my friend took her life.  Many of us here knew her and loved her because she always spoke the truth about her addiction to readings and the fact that everyone sold her a fairy tale. 

I have had a few day to digest the news but the ache in my heart is tremendous.  I am writing this today in hopes that one person here will  see just how much readings can and will control you, and in this instance was the conduit to a beautiful life that ended too soon.


I started with this forum at the inception, left, and came back again.  I have made some beautiful friendships here, and some that have impacted my life tremendously.  I am reminded and blessed that this addiction did not claim my happiness, hope, and life. 

I urge all of you here to claim you destiny, take control of your happiness and stop putting it in the hands of someone who strings you along with false hope.  I challenge you to stop readings for one month, and find a friend here who shares the addiction and can help when you have the urge to call someone.  Find a healthy way to cope with whatever you are dealing with, invest in you and not the words of someone who simply hangs up the phone and collects your hard earned money.  Trust me when I say it will NEVER pan out the way they tell you it will, I can guarantee it!  What I can tell you is that your life will be full of confusion, disappointment, anxiety, and most of all depression.

Divine, Synergy, and many others that I can not think of at this moment....thank you for your friendship, you have helped me more than you will ever know. Divine, you were my lighthouse during many stormy nights and I love you for loving me.

Please take today and think about where this journey is leading you.  If the answers are: waiting and timelines are passing, nothing is happening, you are in debt, you are sad, you are not living in the moment, and you are viciously calling readers for answers....it is time to stop.  Make your life yours, not what someone is telling you it will be.

My beautiful friend and forum member, I will miss you and our long talks.  I am sorry that you could not see past the disappointments and you did not see how much everyone loved you. I pray that you are dancing in heaven and I pray that your story will be the lighthouse that someone else cant seem to find on a dark, stormy night.  I will miss you and I love you. 

Kickingthehabit

PLEASE CALL FOR HELP:

1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

“Place your hand over your heart, can you feel it? That is called purpose. You’re alive for a reason so don’t ever give up.” – Unknown

[divine wishes]

Thank for you this post. I wanted to do the same, but couldn't find the words through the hurt. So often, in forums such as these, we engage with abstractions of people from across the world. But this forum, to me, was different. Here, most came to bare their souls. They came to discuss their fears, demons, and hopes. Here we opened our heart to each other about things we would never whisper to our closest friends or family members.

I remember nights, years ago, where this forum was my only solace. When I was alone, with no one else to lean on, it was this forum, and it's members that propped me up. But for me, the sense of relief came from talking to others about the dirty little secret that I kept, and wouldnt share with anyone else. I could talk about psychics, magic, soulmates, and the hopes/desires/fear I attached to each of those. I came here to talk to others about how I could fix things. But... I needed fixing. I needed to see that I was shattered on the inside, and I was looking for a quick-fix, a balm to cover the pain.

Now, I am heartbroken that someone I cared about, who helped me laugh when I was down, was in so much pain, and wasn't able to find another way to cope with it.

[chrys]

Omg... I got busy and didn't return her last message. Feeling overwhelmed and sad.  I wish she would have asked for help.

[chrys]

Exactly, when I found this forum I was struggling and a few of the members here opened up to me and helped get through all I was putting myself through. I don't know where I would be without that.

[tellmewhy]

Good By Love, Goodbye, she promised to call and never did, Every time I tried to send her message , I was soo tiered!!!, I rather talked than write.May God bring you peace !!!

Rest in Peace

[misty]

I can't believe what I just read. The summer of 2012 was a really tough time for me and all those days and nights we spent chatting with the rest of the gang were some of the best times of my life because I finally felt like I wasn't alone.

Rest in Peace, I can't believe you're gone.

[bstalling]

I'm so sorry to hear this. We chatted a few times through PM. What was she so upset about that she couldn't talk to anyone about it?

[Bella]

Hearing this today has shook me to the core.  It could have been anyone of us.  She was truly a kind soul, helpful and so caring.  I don't understand.  Although I do realize that the readings are a part of it.  Putting our lives in the balance of what we hear.  Even though we know on some level that it's all bull shit...we want that hope.   We keep calling...  It's an addiction.  Just like heroin, gambling, smoking, drinking.   Same shit.  Making us feel better for the moment.  Detremental to our mental, physical and spiritual well being.  IDK... I envy those who can get a reading or two and put it to rest.  But for the rest of us? 

As another member here had said...It was our dirty little secret....things we wouldn't whisper to our closest friends.  How true.  How true. 

I thank God for the people I met here.  Her being one of them. Thank you all for being so kind and generous with your journey. 

Just all let's pay it forward.  Let's all help someone struggling as we were, or still are....

[tellmewhy]

Let's all gather here as friends, set a date and time and say a prayer for her soul. I feel hurt because she had gone through so much and I guess what breaks the Carmels back are the little things after Coming over the major hurdles. If you all could light a candle and say a little pray for her soul to be forgiven and rest in peace, it would be a beautiful gesture.  Thank you all!! With love

[bstalling]

What exactly happened? Was this directly related to a reading that she got that didnt happen as expected?

[divine wishes]

I doubt any of us will know exactly what happened... and we should be careful not to speculate.

[tellmewhy]

From our conversation it had nothing to do with readings, she had some personal things going on. A reader can't make you do anything and she's aware that readers can be wrong .

[chrys]

Amen! 

[Nottakingthebait]

We will never know why she chose what she chose, we will never understand the level of pain she was feeling.  Each of us can empathize with the hurt and disappointment that relationships, daily life, rejection, and disappointment creates; but no one knows the level of hurt another may feel and the decision they make to stop the pain.

I can only say we have all been in a really dark place, otherwise not one of us would be here.  I know, for me, the readings created chaos within me and an emotional breaking point...were the readings the sole purpose? No, but they made an already bad situation worse and the highs and lows dangerous. Every one of us has been there, we came here and chatted with each other regarding "bad" readings and would often comfort each other by saying "just throw it out and ignore it",  because we "knew" which readers were never right.

Hanging on to the words of a stranger that in 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months everything is going to be alright stops the healing process.  At the end of the 2 months when nothing has changed and the fantasy that has been created ceases to exist, we digress to the starting point of the actual event that triggered the calling frenzy in the first place.  On top of the disappointment, anxiety, and frustration from the reading, we are now left to deal with the actual event and figure out how to move forward.  A process many of us have repeated over and over again, and thus another problem to deal  with....addiction.

We will never know if the readings were the reason for her decision, but for sure they did not help her find hope for whatever was causing so much pain.

If you feel you are in too deep and you are paralyzed by fear and hopelessness call this number 1 (800) 273-8255....there is hope.

Fear is the memory of pain.  Addiction is the memory of pleasure.  Freedom is beyond both.  Deepak Chopra

[cocoapple]

I cannot believe this. This is all very surreal to me. This is a wake up call and i really hope newer members or the ones that are still knee deep on these readings to wake up. This is an addiction and it's very very real. I also remember back in 2012 i was in rough shape... it was then i met most of you here and the nights when it was tough, you guys were here. 2014 i fell back in it again even though the first time around left me in pretty bad shape financially. This forum was a safe haven for me where i could talk about my addiction to readings and get through the heartaches.

These readers sells you a dream. It's not real. Invest in yourself rather than some stranger on the other side of the computer or phone. Please talk to someone if depression is taking over. Although this forum is not as active as before, many of us still comes on to check. We are just a PM away.

Prayers and hopefully, you can finally find your peace.