I have been doing a lot of releasing and detaching over the last few days. I feel light and that my happiness is not dependent on POI's actions. I also feel hurt, upset, and embarrassed. Hurt from expectations set by POI that have not been met, upset with him for being self-centered, and embarrassed I enabled his behavior for a long time and allowed him to make everything about himself.
I've spent thousands of dollars on readings in the last few months. But now I feel that the answers were inside of me all along. I was afraid to face the reality because I so desperately wanted to have things work out. I desperately wanted to believe he was who I believed he was. I wanted readers to help me maintain the illusion. To excuse behavior that is not acceptable.
I'm not anti-readings entirely. But if you are feeling compelled to binge or compulsively call, there is something in the relationship that is not right. In the future, if I ever feel the need to compulsively call about someone, I will END that relationship because I HAVE my answer - i.e., I do not feel safe or secure.
If something constantly feels off in the relationship, it probably is. Most psychics know that the reason why we call is to get reassurance that everything will be OK and we generally won't repeatedly call a "negative" reader, so they tell us that everything is OK. I don't think most do this intentionally, they are just doing their jobs.
Relationships shouldn't constantly feel like a project. Something where you have to constantly behave a certain way (how the readers suggest) in order to get the results you want. Where we're left deciphering numbers that are contact predictions or whatever.
I'm processing a lot of hurt and disappointment alongside feelings of freedom and detachment but it is better (for me) than living in willful delusion and spending thousands of dollars on maintaining those illusions/delusions.
