Thank you all for responding. Not that I wish it on anyone else but it helps to know I'm not the only one feeling this way.
I'm trying to get past it because what's done is done. Words were said, actions were taken, money was spent, etc. There's no going back doing it over or pretending none of it happened. There's no sense in beating myself up about it. I just want to be in a place where it doesn't really matter anymore.
There have been some predictions made that I just don't care about anymore. Ugh, more money wasted, whatever.
But as for reconciling with my ex? I deeply love this man. Whether I got any readings or not it would be a long time yet before I got over him. Even if we could not get back together I'd for us to be able to talk again. I can't write him off or say it was all a waste. I've been really angry about things and thought he was an asshole and all that. But I know he never meant for things to turn out this way. I want to forgive him and let it go. I just don't know if I can get over the way I feel about it.