The Psychic Reviews
Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions => Keen.com => Topic started by: wishes215 on November 14, 2018, 05:57:27 PM
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lets say your question to your readers is about contact or getting back together with ur ex, do u typically hear that you should initiate contact or wait for them to reach out to you?
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lets say your question to your readers is about contact or getting back together with ur ex, do u typically hear that you should initiate contact or wait for them to reach out to you?
they ALWAYS tell me NOT to contact him... wait for him to reach out to me
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I’ve gotten both. It depends on the person I’m asking about usually.
When I was dealing with lower quality men, I was always advised not to reach out. At this point I don’t usually ask that question anymore because typically I find that reaching out will likely give me the answer I’ve been calling Keen to ask about. 🤷🏻♀️
If I text and they don’t respond, there’s no real need to call. If I text and I get a warm response, there’s no real need to call either.
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I got a mixture of both. Mostly they give opinions though when they advise either. Some women are old fashioned and feel that the men are the "hunter gatherer at making the contact". I even was told that once by a reader. Others advise me to reach out. I think people should do what their gut tells them. Some people on this board haven't reached out because they were advised not to, and regretted it or in the end reached out for the guy to say "I was waiting for you to text me".
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I will say this..... He has definitely started to show interest in me again recently! He is watching all of my social media stories like as soon as I post them and he started doing his own (never used to) on snapchat (where he has like 5 friends, me being 1 of them) - If he does not contact me within the timeframes I am told ( the next 2/3 weeks) than I may reach out anyway..... He completely sabatoged our relationship and i can see him being a bit worried about me not taking him back and not reaching out but he is definitely trying to figure out what Im up to right now..... I figure if he isnt going to reach out I have nothing to lose anyway right?
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Most of the time, they have told me to wait for whichever POI to reach out first..this last time I called about someone recent, a few encouraged me to reach out to him but my gut told me that was the wrong thing to do.
I had one reader on Purple ocean tell me to be close to him whenever he comes close, and give him space when he backs off..etc...and i think that's horrible advice.
Since he ignored me most of the summer, I ignored his last text...that's what I felt the right thing to do was.
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Most of the time, they have told me to wait for whichever POI to reach out first..this last time I called about someone recent, a few encouraged me to reach out to him but my gut told me that was the wrong thing to do.
I had one reader on Purple ocean tell me to be close to him whenever he comes close, and give him space when he backs off..etc...and i think that's horrible advice.
Since he ignored me most of the summer, I ignored his last text...that's what I felt the right thing to do was.
Do whatever your gut says over any reader - it's always right.
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Most of the time, they have told me to wait for whichever POI to reach out first..this last time I called about someone recent, a few encouraged me to reach out to him but my gut told me that was the wrong thing to do.
I had one reader on Purple ocean tell me to be close to him whenever he comes close, and give him space when he backs off..etc...and i think that's horrible advice.
Since he ignored me most of the summer, I ignored his last text...that's what I felt the right thing to do was.
Do whatever your gut says over any reader - it's always right.
yea..I said to myself, if he reaches out again, I will answer him and see where it goes, but he never did...so that was my answer! lol. I needed more effort from him, and he didn't show it, so that's that.
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Most of the time, they have told me to wait for whichever POI to reach out first..this last time I called about someone recent, a few encouraged me to reach out to him but my gut told me that was the wrong thing to do.
I had one reader on Purple ocean tell me to be close to him whenever he comes close, and give him space when he backs off..etc...and i think that's horrible advice.
Since he ignored me most of the summer, I ignored his last text...that's what I felt the right thing to do was.
Do whatever your gut says over any reader - it's always right.
yea..I said to myself, if he reaches out again, I will answer him and see where it goes, but he never did...so that was my answer! lol. I needed more effort from him, and he didn't show it, so that's that.
If he chose not to reach out to you, then that's his loss. Why should you bother if he doesn't? You deserve better (what a hypocrite I am ::)).
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Most of the time, they have told me to wait for whichever POI to reach out first..this last time I called about someone recent, a few encouraged me to reach out to him but my gut told me that was the wrong thing to do.
I had one reader on Purple ocean tell me to be close to him whenever he comes close, and give him space when he backs off..etc...and i think that's horrible advice.
Since he ignored me most of the summer, I ignored his last text...that's what I felt the right thing to do was.
Do whatever your gut says over any reader - it's always right.
yea..I said to myself, if he reaches out again, I will answer him and see where it goes, but he never did...so that was my answer! lol. I needed more effort from him, and he didn't show it, so that's that.
If he chose not to reach out to you, then that's his loss. Why should you bother if he doesn't? You deserve better (what a hypocrite I am ::)).
lol it's hard to learn this lesson...he did reach out once at the end of August, but that's after going quiet for several weeks when things were going good with us. Which didn't sit right with me. So when he text, I really gave it thought and decided not to reply.
One lesson I've learned out of all these psychic readings is self respect...don't settle for someone's crumbs of time.
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Most of the time, they have told me to wait for whichever POI to reach out first..this last time I called about someone recent, a few encouraged me to reach out to him but my gut told me that was the wrong thing to do.
I had one reader on Purple ocean tell me to be close to him whenever he comes close, and give him space when he backs off..etc...and i think that's horrible advice.
Since he ignored me most of the summer, I ignored his last text...that's what I felt the right thing to do was.
Do whatever your gut says over any reader - it's always right.
yea..I said to myself, if he reaches out again, I will answer him and see where it goes, but he never did...so that was my answer! lol. I needed more effort from him, and he didn't show it, so that's that.
If he chose not to reach out to you, then that's his loss. Why should you bother if he doesn't? You deserve better (what a hypocrite I am ::)).
lol it's hard to learn this lesson...he did reach out once at the end of August, but that's after going quiet for several weeks when things were going good with us. Which didn't sit right with me. So when he text, I really gave it thought and decided not to reply.
One lesson I've learned out of all these psychic readings is self respect...don't settle for someone's crumbs of time.
It is a hard lesson to learn, I've learnt so many lessons from ringing psychics. At least you're tougher and stronger than some of us, and could realise that there wouldn't be much change in your situation so decided not to reply to him.
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oh believe me, after what I went through with the first POI I called about (years of back and forth), I learned not to accept BS behavior. I put up with way too much from him.
Sad part is, I still have feelings for this last guy, but hell will freeze over before I reach out to him. Just hope I meet someone new that takes my mind off of him...but I feel my energy is closed off to meeting new people right now..just don't want the hassle. Afraid of disappointment I guess.
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It's rare that I've been told to reach out. The one person who said I could, said to do so only if I felt a really strong urge to. She felt that sometimes the universe gives us that strong urge as a sign. Most, however, said that he needs to do the work and he won't learn a darn thing if he knows I'm always there for him.
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oh believe me, after what I went through with the first POI I called about (years of back and forth), I learned not to accept BS behavior. I put up with way too much from him.
Sad part is, I still have feelings for this last guy, but hell will freeze over before I reach out to him. Just hope I meet someone new that takes my mind off of him...but I feel my energy is closed off to meeting new people right now..just don't want the hassle. Afraid of disappointment I guess.
I'm like you in the second paragraph. I love my POI, but I'm not going to reach out this time. He has to get his finger out of his arse too sometimes!
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Most of the time, they have told me to wait for whichever POI to reach out first..this last time I called about someone recent, a few encouraged me to reach out to him but my gut told me that was the wrong thing to do.
I had one reader on Purple ocean tell me to be close to him whenever he comes close, and give him space when he backs off..etc...and i think that's horrible advice.
Since he ignored me most of the summer, I ignored his last text...that's what I felt the right thing to do was.
Do whatever your gut says over any reader - it's always right.
yea..I said to myself, if he reaches out again, I will answer him and see where it goes, but he never did...so that was my answer! lol. I needed more effort from him, and he didn't show it, so that's that.
Good for you... so many girls will chase and chase and chase and then when the guy comes back they wonder why they are walking all over them... ummmm duh!
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Most of the time, they have told me to wait for whichever POI to reach out first..this last time I called about someone recent, a few encouraged me to reach out to him but my gut told me that was the wrong thing to do.
I had one reader on Purple ocean tell me to be close to him whenever he comes close, and give him space when he backs off..etc...and i think that's horrible advice.
Since he ignored me most of the summer, I ignored his last text...that's what I felt the right thing to do was.
Do whatever your gut says over any reader - it's always right.
yea..I said to myself, if he reaches out again, I will answer him and see where it goes, but he never did...so that was my answer! lol. I needed more effort from him, and he didn't show it, so that's that.
Good for you... so many girls will chase and chase and chase and then when the guy comes back they wonder why they are walking all over them... ummmm duh!
LOL I lost so much self respect with that first guy that I can't do it anymore, just don't have it in me. I was never one to chase guys really but that guy had me acting like a fool, and part of the blame was because I was calling psychics and getting false info LOL. I actually believed what they were telling me rather than my own instincts or what he was showing me.
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I think it depends on the situation. I had two psychics tell me to reach out. To send something light even though they told me that my ex would contact me first. The rest of the them pretty much said just wait for her to reach out and contact me. One even mentioned about letting her miss me and then she will reach out. We will see if the predictions happen or not. Have a couple of months yet before any of it is predicted to happen.
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Do whatever your gut says over any reader - it's always right.
This is the most sound, brilliant advice I've read on this board.
I would also add: Unless your POI is a soul-less, clueless idiot, he also has intuition. If you reach out, not because you're genuinely just wanting to check in, but because you're wanting him to respond so you can feel better, he's going to sense your desperation. Who likes being contacted by someone only when they want something (in this case reassurance)?
Get your energy and intention in order. Contact him when you're okay with whatever outcome happens. Contact him out of kindness rather than selfishness.
Thank you :) I wish I had listened to mine a long time ago, but I shrugged it off (not being something I wanted to face up to and accept).
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Oddly, Last night I had a weird sense of wanting closure possibly and maybe friendship but I am not sure if I actually want him back.... or at least maybe not right now! I think he has too much of himself to work on and it's not my job to do that! For the first time I had an overwhelming sense of wanting to reach out to him. It's been over 6 weeks (and those were unkind texts, believe me). SO a part of me is a little nervous he wont respond back. I know that isnt the end of the world, doesnt leave me any worse off than where I am now but I feel like I can't move forward until we dont have this riff between us settled. I can finally "Let go". so to speak.....
You should know every advisor has promised me he is going to communicate by the end of the year and we will reconcile either by EOY or mid-Jan. Also, they have all told me NOT to reach out to him. He ended it and they have all told me he is basically waiting for me to reach out to him!
So I wanted some opinions - 1. Should I sit on this feeling for a few days and see if it goes away? 2. We are both music lovers and spent a lot of time listening to and talking about music and going to concerts, etc. So my text was not going to have anything to do with "us" -- I was going to send him a music video I have from a concert I know he'd enjoy - just something random! Kind of a white flag peace offering without us having to say that's what it is.... thoughts on this?
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Oddly, Last night I had a weird sense of wanting closure possibly and maybe friendship but I am not sure if I actually want him back.... or at least maybe not right now! I think he has too much of himself to work on and it's not my job to do that! For the first time I had an overwhelming sense of wanting to reach out to him. It's been over 6 weeks (and those were unkind texts, believe me). SO a part of me is a little nervous he wont respond back. I know that isnt the end of the world, doesnt leave me any worse off than where I am now but I feel like I can't move forward until we dont have this riff between us settled. I can finally "Let go". so to speak.....
You should know every advisor has promised me he is going to communicate by the end of the year and we will reconcile either by EOY or mid-Jan. Also, they have all told me NOT to reach out to him. He ended it and they have all told me he is basically waiting for me to reach out to him!
So I wanted some opinions - 1. Should I sit on this feeling for a few days and see if it goes away? 2. We are both music lovers and spent a lot of time listening to and talking about music and going to concerts, etc. So my text was not going to have anything to do with "us" -- I was going to send him a music video I have from a concert I know he'd enjoy - just something random! Kind of a white flag peace offering without us having to say that's what it is.... thoughts on this?
Sit on it for a few days and if your gut says to still reach out, then send the music video (I hope my advice won't make things worse ;D).
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Oddly, Last night I had a weird sense of wanting closure possibly and maybe friendship but I am not sure if I actually want him back.... or at least maybe not right now! I think he has too much of himself to work on and it's not my job to do that! For the first time I had an overwhelming sense of wanting to reach out to him. It's been over 6 weeks (and those were unkind texts, believe me). SO a part of me is a little nervous he wont respond back. I know that isnt the end of the world, doesnt leave me any worse off than where I am now but I feel like I can't move forward until we dont have this riff between us settled. I can finally "Let go". so to speak.....
You should know every advisor has promised me he is going to communicate by the end of the year and we will reconcile either by EOY or mid-Jan. Also, they have all told me NOT to reach out to him. He ended it and they have all told me he is basically waiting for me to reach out to him!
So I wanted some opinions - 1. Should I sit on this feeling for a few days and see if it goes away? 2. We are both music lovers and spent a lot of time listening to and talking about music and going to concerts, etc. So my text was not going to have anything to do with "us" -- I was going to send him a music video I have from a concert I know he'd enjoy - just something random! Kind of a white flag peace offering without us having to say that's what it is.... thoughts on this?
Sit on it for a few days and if your gut says to still reach out, then send the music video (I hope my advice won't make things worse ;D).
why would your advice make it worse?
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Oddly, Last night I had a weird sense of wanting closure possibly and maybe friendship but I am not sure if I actually want him back.... or at least maybe not right now! I think he has too much of himself to work on and it's not my job to do that! For the first time I had an overwhelming sense of wanting to reach out to him. It's been over 6 weeks (and those were unkind texts, believe me). SO a part of me is a little nervous he wont respond back. I know that isnt the end of the world, doesnt leave me any worse off than where I am now but I feel like I can't move forward until we dont have this riff between us settled. I can finally "Let go". so to speak.....
You should know every advisor has promised me he is going to communicate by the end of the year and we will reconcile either by EOY or mid-Jan. Also, they have all told me NOT to reach out to him. He ended it and they have all told me he is basically waiting for me to reach out to him!
So I wanted some opinions - 1. Should I sit on this feeling for a few days and see if it goes away? 2. We are both music lovers and spent a lot of time listening to and talking about music and going to concerts, etc. So my text was not going to have anything to do with "us" -- I was going to send him a music video I have from a concert I know he'd enjoy - just something random! Kind of a white flag peace offering without us having to say that's what it is.... thoughts on this?
Sit on it for a few days and if your gut says to still reach out, then send the music video (I hope my advice won't make things worse ;D).
why would your advice make it worse?
Haha, incase it goes wrong when you reach out to him.
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oh - well i mean again if he ghosts me than i am no worse off.... in fact it actually tells me all these advisors telling me he's sitting at home thinking about me and waiting for me to reach out are all full of shit ;D....
I gotta think since he started viewing my stories and such he at least wants things to be peaceful between us? IDK.....
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I’ve almost always been told not to reach out that’s why I was wondering if that’s something everyone gets told.
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oh - well i mean again if he ghosts me than i am no worse off.... in fact it actually tells me all these advisors telling me he's sitting at home thinking about me and waiting for me to reach out are all full of shit ;D....
I gotta think since he started viewing my stories and such he at least wants things to be peaceful between us? IDK.....
Exactly. I mean if he's been watching you, then he CLEARLY is still showing interest and you most likely will get some kinda response from him :).
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oh - well i mean again if he ghosts me than i am no worse off.... in fact it actually tells me all these advisors telling me he's sitting at home thinking about me and waiting for me to reach out are all full of shit ;D....
I gotta think since he started viewing my stories and such he at least wants things to be peaceful between us? IDK.....
it could be he's just curious of what you are up to..men can be real grudge holders..
as far as reaching out, that is up to you, but I would wait a bit and see if the urge is still there in a few days.
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oh - well i mean again if he ghosts me than i am no worse off.... in fact it actually tells me all these advisors telling me he's sitting at home thinking about me and waiting for me to reach out are all full of shit ;D....
I gotta think since he started viewing my stories and such he at least wants things to be peaceful between us? IDK.....
it could be he's just curious of what you are up to..men can be real grudge holders..
as far as reaching out, that is up to you, but I would wait a bit and see if the urge is still there in a few days.
^^
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Ok playing the devil's advocate here...
Do you think the readers tell us not to contact and wait because if they don't reach out you will call the advisor again to see what's going on???
I honestly only had one reader tell me to reach out to my POI but yhen again her reading didn't really say anything that stood out that her guidance was correct.
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I think it's for different reasons. I think some readers aren't genuine, so they tell you not to reach out so that if he doesn't respond you don't keep calling the reader putting them on the spot. It's easier to say to somebody to wait for him to make the forts move and have a vulnerable person keep calling me asking when he'll come around. Some readers are old fashioned and think that the men should do all of the running as they're the "hunter gatherer". I have seen people be advised not to reach out to their ex and they did in the end and the ex told them that they were waiting for a text.. That's why I said follow your gut over any reader. Sit on it for a few days and if it doesn't budge - you have your answer.
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I think it's for different reasons. I think some readers aren't genuine, so they tell you not to reach out so that if he doesn't respond you don't keep calling the reader putting them on the spot. It's easier to say to somebody to wait for him to make the forts move and have a vulnerable person keep calling me asking when he'll come around. Some readers are old fashioned and think that the men should do all of the running as they're the "hunter gatherer". I have seen people be advised not to reach out to their ex and they did in the end and the ex told them that they were waiting for a text.. That's why I said follow your gut over any reader. Sit on it for a few days and if it doesn't budge - you have your answer.
There is a program by Chris Seiter called ex boyfriend recovery. He is a dating coach (and obviously a guy) -- His advice is NC for either 21, 30 or 45 days after break up (depending on situation) and then this whole book on texting him.... He claims that many men really do want to reach out to us (even when they broke up, esp if they really messed up) but they dont for fear of rejection or b/c they dont know if weve moved on.... A slew of different reasons. So you start with simple texts (like the one I stated above) hey I saw this and it reminded me of you and seeing where it goes.... Hes been really successful with the program!
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I think it's for different reasons. I think some readers aren't genuine, so they tell you not to reach out so that if he doesn't respond you don't keep calling the reader putting them on the spot. It's easier to say to somebody to wait for him to make the forts move and have a vulnerable person keep calling me asking when he'll come around. Some readers are old fashioned and think that the men should do all of the running as they're the "hunter gatherer". I have seen people be advised not to reach out to their ex and they did in the end and the ex told them that they were waiting for a text.. That's why I said follow your gut over any reader. Sit on it for a few days and if it doesn't budge - you have your answer.
There is a program by Chris Seiter called ex boyfriend recovery. He is a dating coach (and obviously a guy) -- His advice is NC for either 21, 30 or 45 days after break up (depending on situation) and then this whole book on texting him.... He claims that many men really do want to reach out to us (even when they broke up, esp if they really messed up) but they dont for fear of rejection or b/c they dont know if weve moved on.... A slew of different reasons. So you start with simple texts (like the one I stated above) hey I saw this and it reminded me of you and seeing where it goes.... Hes been really successful with the program!
That sounds pretty cool, it's more refreshing to hear a man himself give tips and explanations than some hippy dippy reader and this LOA stuff. I doubt mine would answer me though, which is why I'm having my last few readings and moving on. I might check this guy out, thanks!
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Yikes. Well, I’m past the 45 day mark
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Yikes. Well, I’m past the 45 day mark
Ha ha.
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oh - well i mean again if he ghosts me than i am no worse off.... in fact it actually tells me all these advisors telling me he's sitting at home thinking about me and waiting for me to reach out are all full of shit ;D....
I gotta think since he started viewing my stories and such he at least wants things to be peaceful between us? IDK.....
it could be he's just curious of what you are up to..men can be real grudge holders..
as far as reaching out, that is up to you, but I would wait a bit and see if the urge is still there in a few days.
Tell that to my ex. She has been holding a grudge on me from stuff that happened back in March/April even though she told me she forgave me in June. Her actions in September from not speaking to her for a good two months clearly showed she still is hanging onto a grudge.
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I think it's for different reasons. I think some readers aren't genuine, so they tell you not to reach out so that if he doesn't respond you don't keep calling the reader putting them on the spot. It's easier to say to somebody to wait for him to make the forts move and have a vulnerable person keep calling me asking when he'll come around. Some readers are old fashioned and think that the men should do all of the running as they're the "hunter gatherer". I have seen people be advised not to reach out to their ex and they did in the end and the ex told them that they were waiting for a text.. That's why I said follow your gut over any reader. Sit on it for a few days and if it doesn't budge - you have your answer.
There is a program by Chris Seiter called ex boyfriend recovery. He is a dating coach (and obviously a guy) -- His advice is NC for either 21, 30 or 45 days after break up (depending on situation) and then this whole book on texting him.... He claims that many men really do want to reach out to us (even when they broke up, esp if they really messed up) but they dont for fear of rejection or b/c they dont know if weve moved on.... A slew of different reasons. So you start with simple texts (like the one I stated above) hey I saw this and it reminded me of you and seeing where it goes.... Hes been really successful with the program!
I have watched many of these ex recovery guides. I really think some of it maybe true but definitely not all of it. They do not always take factors of the friends and family roles in the situation. Also to blanket a number of days on when you should reach out could be bad. Everyone heals differently and to even give a set number of days to reach out could cause more harm than good. When really you should trust your gut and determine if the time is right to reach out. That could be 6 months to a year even.
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I think it's for different reasons. I think some readers aren't genuine, so they tell you not to reach out so that if he doesn't respond you don't keep calling the reader putting them on the spot. It's easier to say to somebody to wait for him to make the forts move and have a vulnerable person keep calling me asking when he'll come around. Some readers are old fashioned and think that the men should do all of the running as they're the "hunter gatherer". I have seen people be advised not to reach out to their ex and they did in the end and the ex told them that they were waiting for a text.. That's why I said follow your gut over any reader. Sit on it for a few days and if it doesn't budge - you have your answer.
There is a program by Chris Seiter called ex boyfriend recovery. He is a dating coach (and obviously a guy) -- His advice is NC for either 21, 30 or 45 days after break up (depending on situation) and then this whole book on texting him.... He claims that many men really do want to reach out to us (even when they broke up, esp if they really messed up) but they dont for fear of rejection or b/c they dont know if weve moved on.... A slew of different reasons. So you start with simple texts (like the one I stated above) hey I saw this and it reminded me of you and seeing where it goes.... Hes been really successful with the program!
I have watched many of these ex recovery guides. I really think some of it maybe true but definitely not all of it. They do not always take factors of the friends and family roles in the situation. Also to blanket a number of days on when you should reach out could be bad. Everyone heals differently and to even give a set number of days to reach out could cause more harm than good. When really you should trust your gut and determine if the time is right to reach out. That could be 6 months to a year even.
this i agree with 100%.....
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wow -- thats a long time.... the 45 days is for ppl who had a nasty break up and studies show that for most breakups 45-60 days is how long it takes almost all ppl to get over them. There are studies that show that like (I dont remember the statistics) but a high percentage of ppl only remember positive things about teir ex after the 30, 45 and 60 day marks... You learn all of this in Chris program...
But some ppl have really just moved on.... You dont really know if they're angry, scared of rejection, etc until you send that text and see what happens? I teeter back and forth on whether to use his program or listen to these readers?
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wow -- thats a long time.... the 45 days is for ppl who had a nasty break up and studies show that for most breakups 45-60 days is how long it takes almost all ppl to get over them. There are studies that show that like (I dont remember the statistics) but a high percentage of ppl only remember positive things about teir ex after the 30, 45 and 60 day marks... You learn all of this in Chris program...
But some ppl have really just moved on.... You dont really know if they're angry, scared of rejection, etc until you send that text and see what happens? I teeter back and forth on whether to use his program or listen to these readers?
But the issue is - sometimes men won't respond or reach out, even if they do care or miss you, it's hard. I can see why people call psychics, to get closure that they couldn't get.
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wow -- thats a long time.... the 45 days is for ppl who had a nasty break up and studies show that for most breakups 45-60 days is how long it takes almost all ppl to get over them. There are studies that show that like (I dont remember the statistics) but a high percentage of ppl only remember positive things about teir ex after the 30, 45 and 60 day marks... You learn all of this in Chris program...
But some ppl have really just moved on.... You dont really know if they're angry, scared of rejection, etc until you send that text and see what happens? I teeter back and forth on whether to use his program or listen to these readers?
Still for most and not all. I will use my experience. My ex got mad about a snap her friend told her that I posted. Her friend said it had to do with her when it didn't. I found out a month later that my ex was still hurt from that snap. We didn't talk for that month. A whole month over a snap that she could have easily got over in 5 minutes if she talked to me about it. I even know my ex is still hurting from things prior to that to this day because she can't let go. I also know she hasn't moved on from me as the last contact in September she told me that she was "Trying to move on." One you don't tell your ex that and two you should be moved on if you are dating someone for 3 1/2 months at that point.
So I can agree that it for the majority it probably is true but I would still really look to see how your ex is behaving because it could be way longer for them. They might be that outlier percentage that wasn't in the study.
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wow -- thats a long time.... the 45 days is for ppl who had a nasty break up and studies show that for most breakups 45-60 days is how long it takes almost all ppl to get over them. There are studies that show that like (I dont remember the statistics) but a high percentage of ppl only remember positive things about teir ex after the 30, 45 and 60 day marks... You learn all of this in Chris program...
But some ppl have really just moved on.... You dont really know if they're angry, scared of rejection, etc until you send that text and see what happens? I teeter back and forth on whether to use his program or listen to these readers?
But the issue is - sometimes men won't respond or reach out, even if they do care or miss you, it's hard. I can see why people call psychics, to get closure that they couldn't get.
exactly, they won't reach out, or they've started dating someone else...who knows? I had reached out to the first POI I called psychics about and looking back, I regret it. I should have left it alone and then maybe I would have moved on much faster.
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I really think it depends on the situation. Who broke up with who? If YOU did the breaking up with.........yes YOU should contact said person at some point. If THEY did the breaking up with YOU........then NO you should not contact them. If a person breaks up with you, that basically means that at that moment in time and for however long, they don't want you in their life unless they say otherwise. But I certainly DO NOT recommend contacting a person that has broken up with you at all ever. I never do and I never will.
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To add to my previous comment: If you reach out to a person that broke up with you, and did so in a negative way by lying, cheating, sabotaging in whatever way, then you are just asking them to keep doing that to you. The guy I'm dealing with now broke up with me and then threw a fit because I wasn't reaching out to him. I was like huh? YOU broke with ME and then expect me to chase you? No dude. Not happening. I'm not going to play those games. If you didn't want to break up then you shouldn't have behaved in those ways and said you were done. Now it's time for you to grow up and fix things. If you want me, show me. Otherwise, last I knew, you didn't want me cause you broke up with me.
If I'd continue to reach out to him then I'm just feeding his ego and enabling his shitty behavior. Nope. Ain't happening. And if we never speak again, then we don't. And it wouldn't be because I didn't care about him, rather it would be because I have to start caring about me too and not exposing myself to such pain. When he decides to change, I will know it because I will see different behaviors and hear different things that match those behaviors. Until then, nope. I don't want to hurt anymore. Period.
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To add to my previous comment: If you reach out to a person that broke up with you, and did so in a negative way by lying, cheating, sabotaging in whatever way, then you are just asking them to keep doing that to you. The guy I'm dealing with now broke up with me and then threw a fit because I wasn't reaching out to him. I was like huh? YOU broke with ME and then expect me to chase you? No dude. Not happening. I'm not going to play those games. If you didn't want to break up then you shouldn't have behaved in those ways and said you were done. Now it's time for you to grow up and fix things. If you want me, show me. Otherwise, last I knew, you didn't want me cause you broke up with me.
If I'd continue to reach out to him then I'm just feeding his ego and enabling his shitty behavior. Nope. Ain't happening. And if we never speak again, then we don't. And it wouldn't be because I didn't care about him, rather it would be because I have to start caring about me too and not exposing myself to such pain. When he decides to change, I will know it because I will see different behaviors and hear different things that match those behaviors. Until then, nope. I don't want to hurt anymore. Period.
He broke up with you and threw a fit at you for not chasing him? Lol what? ;D
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Yeah. It was crazy. Thing is, he always got upset that I never initiated after a period of time cause I always just felt like he could care less as long as he had some sort of attention but he didn't care from who, just that he had the attention. So, throughout the last few years of the on/off relationship I never initiated. I'm the kind of person that is perfectly fine being completely alone. I don't need attention from any new guys or whatever. But he freaked out on me telling me I'd never be able to have a relationship with even a dog if I kept that up. Well, I didn't do that in my past relationships. Just this one and for good reason. You don't break up with someone, then get pissed when they don't reach out and text you. But his reasoning for me wanting to do that was sort of proven when I actually said "F it" and gave it a try this last time he broke up with me.
He started acting like his typical not so nice self mid October so I text him asking if he could call me (this was on November 2nd) and told him I wanted to talk. He totally blew me off so I sent him an email expressing my feelings and love for him etc. You know what kind of response I got? The next day he basically tells me that I had nothing to say in mid October but now suddenly I do and he didn't acknowledge any of the love stuff I expressed. He basically just wanted to be chased by me for egotistical purposes which is why I never reached out previously. Obviously, I was right and I will NEVER do it again.
If I break up with a person, I don't expect to ever hear from them again cause I'm basically saying "Hey, I'm pretty done here so have a nice life". Unless I tell them I want to remain friends, then I'd reach out. That's pretty much it. I don't understand people's flawed logic.
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Yeah. It was crazy. Thing is, he always got upset that I never initiated after a period of time cause I always just felt like he could care less as long as he had some sort of attention but he didn't care from who, just that he had the attention. So, throughout the last few years of the on/off relationship I never initiated. I'm the kind of person that is perfectly fine being completely alone. I don't need attention from any new guys or whatever. But he freaked out on me telling me I'd never be able to have a relationship with even a dog if I kept that up. Well, I didn't do that in my past relationships. Just this one and for good reason. You don't break up with someone, then get pissed when they don't reach out and text you. But his reasoning for me wanting to do that was sort of proven when I actually said "F it" and gave it a try this last time he broke up with me.
He started acting like his typical not so nice self mid October so I text him asking if he could call me (this was on November 2nd) and told him I wanted to talk. He totally blew me off so I sent him an email expressing my feelings and love for him etc. You know what kind of response I got? The next day he basically tells me that I had nothing to say in mid October but now suddenly I do and he didn't acknowledge any of the love stuff I expressed. He basically just wanted to be chased by me for egotistical purposes which is why I never reached out previously. Obviously, I was right and I will NEVER do it again.
If I break up with a person, I don't expect to ever hear from them again cause I'm basically saying "Hey, I'm pretty done here so have a nice life". Unless I tell them I want to remain friends, then I'd reach out. That's pretty much it. I don't understand people's flawed logic.
He can be so mean to you sometimes! Telling you that you couldn't even have a relationship with a dog, that's so rude. My ex before POI was like that, he was a narc and it was all about ego boosting and being given attention and affection. Doesn't want you to move on, but doesn't want you and doesn't seem to be making any efforts unless it benefits him sexually/money/egotism. I hope you realise you are worth more than how he makes you feel.
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Thanks Star1. Since he's really just not bothered with me a whole lot, I'm seeing things A LOT more clearly. I'm alright now. A lot of pain has ceased and even faster than I thought. I'm gonna pass that off to the fact that venus came out of retrograde and went direct today. So, the energies aren't as intense anymore. I'm getting there. Thanks hun.
It's okay, I'm glad you're beginning to feel better and stronger. There's nothing worse than seeing a woman feel demoralised because of a man, and I hope you realise your worth. :)
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To add to my previous comment: If you reach out to a person that broke up with you, and did so in a negative way by lying, cheating, sabotaging in whatever way, then you are just asking them to keep doing that to you. The guy I'm dealing with now broke up with me and then threw a fit because I wasn't reaching out to him. I was like huh? YOU broke with ME and then expect me to chase you? No dude. Not happening. I'm not going to play those games. If you didn't want to break up then you shouldn't have behaved in those ways and said you were done. Now it's time for you to grow up and fix things. If you want me, show me. Otherwise, last I knew, you didn't want me cause you broke up with me.
If I'd continue to reach out to him then I'm just feeding his ego and enabling his shitty behavior. Nope. Ain't happening. And if we never speak again, then we don't. And it wouldn't be because I didn't care about him, rather it would be because I have to start caring about me too and not exposing myself to such pain. When he decides to change, I will know it because I will see different behaviors and hear different things that match those behaviors. Until then, nope. I don't want to hurt anymore. Period.
OKay I soooo needed to read this.... My ex broke up with me. It was kind of a fit and he sabotaged the relationship totally! Im pretty sure he needed some validation from me and wanted me to chase him (b/c he broke up with me because of something I did). What Im struggling about contact is A. I made a lot of mistakes (as did he) toward the end and I have a lot of guilt. B. a few days after the breakup, I accused him of cheating and lying which turned into a text war. We live a mile from each other and run a little bit in the same circle so I have a lot of inner turmoil. Even if we never get back together (it would take a lot to work through if we do) I need a bit of closure and to not always be worried he's where I am when I show up. I kind of want to reach out to see (and hope) he responds so I know we can be "friends" and then the ball is in hia court to come back to me and I can decide what I want to do.
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To add to my previous comment: If you reach out to a person that broke up with you, and did so in a negative way by lying, cheating, sabotaging in whatever way, then you are just asking them to keep doing that to you. The guy I'm dealing with now broke up with me and then threw a fit because I wasn't reaching out to him. I was like huh? YOU broke with ME and then expect me to chase you? No dude. Not happening. I'm not going to play those games. If you didn't want to break up then you shouldn't have behaved in those ways and said you were done. Now it's time for you to grow up and fix things. If you want me, show me. Otherwise, last I knew, you didn't want me cause you broke up with me.
If I'd continue to reach out to him then I'm just feeding his ego and enabling his shitty behavior. Nope. Ain't happening. And if we never speak again, then we don't. And it wouldn't be because I didn't care about him, rather it would be because I have to start caring about me too and not exposing myself to such pain. When he decides to change, I will know it because I will see different behaviors and hear different things that match those behaviors. Until then, nope. I don't want to hurt anymore. Period.
Exactly! And if they learn that lesson (giant "if"), it takes a looooong time. We usually move on by then. Good riddance. No woman deserves that nonsense. I am learning that now.
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@Law: The thing is, we all make mistakes in our relationships but a mature person talks about it, forgives, and moves forward with the relationship. I'm not saying things like cheating should be forgiven 100 times over, but we all get moody, or say stuff that we later regret etc. How relationships last decades is because both people are understanding and are able to love the other person flaws and all and both people work on change and becoming better as best they can.
There are those that will literally break up with you each time you say something they don't like, mess up in some small way etc. and they use that as a means to control the situation. They don't really want to break up but they are using it to punish you and then want you to chase after them. I've made mistakes too and said things I shouldn't have, but when I apologize and work on it, I don't expect to be broken up with, ignored, etc. I expect to be forgiven the same as I forgive. If you have one person trying to control things and act as though they've never made a mistake ever and makes it a point to make you feel like a complete piece of shit over your mistake..........while you are sitting there forgiving that same person for their mistakes and you don't use break ups as a means to control etc etc............then that's called emotional abuse.
I don't know your situation but it sounds to me like maybe your POI uses break ups as a means to control the situation and your behavior and get you to behave how he sees fit. I could be wrong though. But if he IS doing that, it's immature and abusive.