The Psychic Reviews
Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions => Keen.com => Topic started by: Salted2caramel on July 13, 2017, 11:33:21 PM
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Mystery123's read with Diane731 got me thinking of all the crazy, funny and random things psychics have said over the years. Just for laughs what are some of the hilarious things they have said to you?
I remember speaking with AstroSarah years and years ago when asking about meeting a new partner and she told me to buy yoni eggs to prepare for the next man! bhahaha she also said that the next man I would meet would have 2 x daughters who would rollerskate everywhere and in the house and it would drive me bonkers. Ummm never happened! but was such a funny read.
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I asked Luna about a civil case I was involved in and she told me that although I wouldn’t believe her, someone cast a spell on me, so I wasn’t going to win any court cases ever. I asked and got a refund.
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SandyEster (? spelling) said my ex had not contacted me because of his sister's dog - LOL!
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SandyEster (? spelling) said my ex had not contacted me because of his sister's dog - LOL!
Is that all she said about the dog; was there more too it? Did she realize by the silence how fucking ridiculous she sounded?
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Ooh! I have so many from bad readers which i don't remember except the one when a reader Marceejay I think asked me if I am asking about love connection or looking to get some orgasms.. :-X :-X .. and once a reader told me the guy thinks from his penis.
but from the good ones they have mostly been WTF statements-- like something so trivial which doesn't involve or concern me and they take 2-3 minutes explaining it. Makes me mad!
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....I hung up on her right she said it
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....I hung up on her right she said it
Burst out laughing...TY
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Ooh! I have so many from bad readers which i don't remember except the one when a reader Marceejay I think asked me if I am asking about love connection or looking to get some orgasms.. :-X :-X .. and once a reader told me the guy thinks from his penis.
but from the good ones they have mostly been WTF statements-- like something so trivial which doesn't involve or concern me and they take 2-3 minutes explaining it. Makes me mad!
Yeah, I've gotten some of these. A reader told me there were people around me who didn't want me to succeed. Well, so? How in the hell does this help me? There are many, many people like that. She wasn't even specific enough to tell me who it was, which is basically everyone else since the industry I'm pursuing is a beast, so yeah.
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This didn't happen to me but to my friend with Cookie. Cookie didn't really see anything happening with her and POI but kept insisting my friend had to get him in the ba-yed (bed) for there to be a chance. My friend was not about to make the first move and kept brushing Cookie. Friend then tried to get a prediction about a committed relationship and Cookie irritatedly and frustratedly said, "Committed rela- ! You cain't ask about committed, you ain't even got him in the ba-yed!!" We DIE every time we hear that part of the recording, hahahahaha ;D It's not so much what she said as how she said it. LOL
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I forget who it was, someone on keen but...
"No, he's not coming back. And, oh my god, the way he carries on! He's gonna get an STD! Oh my God!"
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The funniest thing a reader ever said to me was that she saw my ex doing drugs in a red car and I should offer him help. It wasn't the least bit true. She made it sound so intense. It was someone on PsychicAccess.
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JIM1537 on keen told me that my ex husband was going to give me an std and get another woman pregnant. None of this ever happen btw, but the thing was he told me one of my deceased relatives were coming through giving this information. He is a very negative man I think he hates men. This was before we were even engaged or married and he never cheated.
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JIM1537 on keen told me that my ex husband was going to give me an std and get another woman pregnant. None of this ever happen btw, but the thing was he told me one of my deceased relatives were coming through giving this information. He is a very negative man I think he hates men. This was before we were even engaged or married and he never cheated.
I used to get readings from him way back in 2002 or thereabouts. He wasn't all gloom and doom and was very nice to me. I know he has been a real downer for a lot of people, but he helped me a lot. Something really bad happened to me and I felt like he was the only person I could talk to about it. He was very honest and admitted that he hadn't seen it coming at all. I haven't spoken to him in about 14 years, but it's good to see he is still around.
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Ooh! I have so many from bad readers which i don't remember except the one when a reader Marceejay I think asked me if I am asking about love connection or looking to get some orgasms.. :-X :-X .. and once a reader told me the guy thinks from his penis.
but from the good ones they have mostly been WTF statements-- like something so trivial which doesn't involve or concern me and they take 2-3 minutes explaining it. Makes me mad!
OMG that's hilarious! I read with Marceejay a LONG time ago, yea a big no. LOL
I guess my funniest (kinda) was with happy2174 or something, she told me first call the guy I was calling about was "whore" and kept repeating it LOL. second call he was a nice guy ::)
don't ask what made me call back a second time LOLOL
Also waterqueene: asked her about a job situation earlier this year, was wondering about my boss retiring. she said the company will not let you go even if your boss retires. My boss IS the company, and if he retires, that's it! LOL. she even threw in something like she sees me sitting across the desk from a dark haired woman, LOL..no such person. Was like she was making it all up.
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That's funny about Happy2174. I guess "whores" can repent and be nice, haha!!!
For me, a psychic once said, "Now, [my real name], this man cannot keep an erection."
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That's funny about Happy2174. I guess "whores" can repent and be nice, haha!!!
For me, a psychic once said, "Now, [my real name], this man cannot keep an erection."
Cracked me up!!
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Here's another:
After calling the husband psychic, he and his wife (also a psychic), emailed me to say they had this deal. You could pay $200 (2001 value) for them to pray to spirits. You call them on Keen with your request, send them the extra $200 (through Keen, maybe???), and then they would get off the phone to...
SMOKE PEYOTE and PRAY TO THE SPIRITS.
They had a disclaimer that the spirits might not answer the prayers.
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Wow, what a scam!!!
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Here's another:
After calling the husband psychic, he and his wife (also a psychic), emailed me to say they had this deal. You could pay $200 (2001 value) for them to pray to spirits. You call them on Keen with your request, send them the extra $200 (through Keen, maybe???), and then they would get off the phone to...
SMOKE PEYOTE and PRAY TO THE SPIRITS.
They had a disclaimer that the spirits might not answer the prayers.
Lmfao!!!
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My boyfriend took his life last November 2016 and I didn't see it coming. So the night he passed away, i called faery lady in keen and asked her what happened but didn't give her any details..
Faery Lady: He loves you very much and thinking he wants to be a better partner for you for better future.
Me: He died tonight.
Faery Lady: OMG!!!! He doesn't even know he's dead yet!!!
I was depressed but she made me laugh. Same woman who knew we are getting back together October 5, 2014 and we did got back together on that date.
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Omfg reading these stories
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I find that to be the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Your boyfriend dies , commits suicide and your ringing a psychic on Keen.
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I find that to be the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Your boyfriend dies , commits suicide and your ringing a psychic on Keen.
yikes, I thought the same thing :/
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I find that to be the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Your boyfriend dies , commits suicide and your ringing a psychic on Keen.
yikes, I thought the same thing :/
Because it was very unexpected and i was not in my right mind just wanted answers. If i did something to make him do that. I eventually got answers (closure) from another medium (Rebecca fearing) but after 1 month he passed.
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Because it was very unexpected and i was not in my right mind just wanted answers. If i did something to make him do that. I eventually got answers (closure) from another medium (Rebecca fearing) but after 1 month he passed.
Totally understandable. The weirdest thing to me is judgemental attitudes with some of the members. As if they have any right considering they are members here too.
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I agree with Hornetkick. How can anyone tell you the right way to grieve? Everyone does it differently. Sorry for your loss.
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My boyfriend took his life last November 2016 and I didn't see it coming. So the night he passed away, i called faery lady in keen and asked her what happened but didn't give her any details..
Faery Lady: He loves you very much and thinking he wants to be a better partner for you for better future.
Me: He died tonight.
Faery Lady: OMG!!!! He doesn't even know he's dead yet!!!
I was depressed but she made me laugh. Same woman who knew we are getting back together October 5, 2014 and we did got back together on that date.
So she does occasionally get things right. She got a contact prediction right for me, but I wrote it off thinking it was a fluke.
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Thank you hornetkick and sweetsy. I really appreciate that.
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Back home in Europe i talked to a reader that said i should have sex with the guy in questions as soon as possible,because "if he has a small penis it wont work":):)
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Back home in Europe i talked to a reader that said i should have sex with the guy in questions as soon as possible,because "if he has a small penis it wont work":):)
LMAO!!!
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Vincent from psychic source told me my ex have erecting dysfunctional lol.. Vincent got that right.
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Haha some of the comments are so funny. I know I leave funny remarks about Keisha everywhere and this pisses off some of her fans. Once Keisha read for me and she wrote something like this " so this medium height man with dark hair and dark eyes with occasional glasses on his nose and who occasionally wears suit as well is going to be your next boss. He is very intelligent and smart and ...."
While all of this cannot be considered a joke but it was all so generic that I did not get any benefit out of it. How common its dark hair dark eyes and someone wearing suit hehe. But of course it also never happened. I thought it to be a non sense.
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I find the "dark hair and dark eye" descriptions so useless. A million people look like that..wouldnt it better to describe race, skin tone..hair style...anything else besides the most
vaguest way to describe someone?
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"Most vaguest?" I mean- wouldn't it be better to learn the English language before posting? You have a lot of spare time for a "happily married woman" 🙄
Wow so judgmental.
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"Most vaguest?" I mean- wouldn't it be better to learn the English language before posting? You have a lot of spare time for a "happily married woman" 🙄
Wow so judgmental.
The whole point of this forum is to post "judgement" so.... 🙄🙄🙄🙄 good night
Review and share experience with readers is the point of the forum. Not attack other members in the board. You can disagree or bounce of ideas with other members but not personally attack them base on their writing skills or personal life.
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Just ignore her Bstalling. I was also attacked by that person... Must be psycho. Best thing to do is ignore them. Don't get into it with them.
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"Most vaguest?" I mean- wouldn't it be better to learn the English language before posting? You have a lot of spare time for a "happily married woman" 🙄
For a Kisha fan, you sure are miserable.
Oh yeah, she still sucks by the way.
Dear, I got your point. This is very very vague. I am not copying pasting whole written chat of Keisha for privacy purposes. I am sure it would open some eyes hehe. But, anyways many psychics waste time, money/min or even email readings for filler sentences like that. Because we all at some stage have been so desperate that they take full advantage of us. I still think this forum helped me A lot to heal from my psychic addiction ( no longer yay). I think Kasamba psychic are 100 times worse then any others.
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Itsmylife, Kisha doesn't do chat.
"Most vaguest?" I mean- wouldn't it be better to learn the English language before posting? You have a lot of spare time for a "happily married woman" 🙄
For a Kisha fan, you sure are miserable.
Oh yeah, she still sucks by the way.
Dear, I got your point. This is very very vague. I am not copying pasting whole written chat of Keisha for privacy purposes. I am sure it would open some eyes hehe. But, anyways many psychics waste time, money/min or even email readings for filler sentences like that. Because we all at some stage have been so desperate that they take full advantage of us. I still think this forum helped me A lot to heal from my psychic addiction ( no longer yay). I think Kasamba psychic are 100 times worse then any others.
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Yes I know she does not do chat..... but she does clarifies via email & also does do email readings ;D 8)
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I find the "dark hair and dark eye" descriptions so useless. A million people look like that..wouldnt it better to describe race, skin tone..hair style...anything else besides the most
vaguest way to describe someone?
Wouldn't that depend on where you live? In the dozen or so relationships I've been in, I've only had one that had both dark hair and dark eyes.
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I find the "dark hair and dark eye" descriptions so useless. A million people look like that..wouldnt it better to describe race, skin tone..hair style...anything else besides the most
vaguest way to describe someone?
Wouldn't that depend on where you live? In the dozen or so relationships I've been in, I've only had one that had both dark hair and dark eyes.
For some readers it really is hard to pin down features. It makes you wonder that if they realize this then why give out descriptions. Just like if a reader gives me timing, I'll turn right around and ask them if they are any good with that or how accurate they have been with predictions. Many will tell you right up front they aren't that good, but give you their guesses anyway. I've gotten the same thing before with descriptions, but then I ask them what kind of car do they drive, do they have tattoos, stuff like that just so I can recognize them when/if they come along. Readers never want to take responsibility for giving you some pie in the sky reading.
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I find the "dark hair and dark eye" descriptions so useless. A million people look like that..wouldnt it better to describe race, skin tone..hair style...anything else besides the most
vaguest way to describe someone?
Wouldn't that depend on where you live? In the dozen or so relationships I've been in, I've only had one that had both dark hair and dark eyes.
For some readers it really is hard to pin down features. It makes you wonder that if they realize this then why give out descriptions. Just like if a reader gives me timing, I'll turn right around and ask them if they are any good with that or how accurate they have been with predictions. Many will tell you right up front they aren't that good, but give you their guesses anyway. I've gotten the same thing before with descriptions, but then I ask them what kind of car do they drive, do they have tattoos, stuff like that just so I can recognize them when/if they come along. Readers never want to take responsibility for giving you some pie in the sky reading.
I had one reader who said my supervisor is blonde so I thought that was a miss because she's brunette. I had my reading over the weekend. Monday came and my supervisor had blonde highlights that she almost looked blonde. My jaw dropped.
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I find the "dark hair and dark eye" descriptions so useless. A million people look like that..wouldnt it better to describe race, skin tone..hair style...anything else besides the most
vaguest way to describe someone?
Wouldn't that depend on where you live? In the dozen or so relationships I've been in, I've only had one that had both dark hair and dark eyes.
Hmm, I don't know..but I believe darkeyes/dark hair is just not a great way to describe someone. Even if you are not good at describing features, you can at least recognize bald, fat, tall, short, tanned, black, white, asian, hispanic, mixed..curly hair, long hair, mustache, beared, tattoos. Maybe the psychics vision is too hazy for them to tell the difference, I don't know.
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I find the "dark hair and dark eye" descriptions so useless. A million people look like that..wouldnt it better to describe race, skin tone..hair style...anything else besides the most
vaguest way to describe someone?
Wouldn't that depend on where you live? In the dozen or so relationships I've been in, I've only had one that had both dark hair and dark eyes.
Hmm, I don't know..but I believe darkeyes/dark hair is just not a great way to describe someone. Even if you are not good at describing features, you can at least recognize bald, fat, tall, short, tanned, black, white, asian, hispanic, mixed..curly hair, long hair, mustache, beared, tattoos. Maybe the psychics vision is too hazy for them to tell the difference, I don't know.
Exactly. Readers hardly ever see a person's ethnic background. Ever! Or anything outside of tall, dark, stranger. Really??
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This is not the funniest thing a psychic has ever told me.... but it falls in line with "vague" descriptions - sort of... I had one psychic (in person) that was the only one to ever tell me of someone coming into my life she first said to me that "they always come back" which I thought was in reference to the man I was asking about - but then she immediately said she saw someone coming into my life with a "K" sounding "C" name... I though oh crap!! please not "K" (the man I was involved with prior to the man I was asking about) - 5 months later I met my current POI - who's name starts with a "C" and sounds like a "K". We dated for almost a year before he ran for no reason... and since then - every psychic I have spoken with said he will be back - it will just take a long time - we are in semi-regular contact now....
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I had one reader who said my supervisor is blonde so I thought that was a miss because she's brunette. I had my reading over the weekend. Monday came and my supervisor had blonde highlights that she almost looked blonde. My jaw dropped.
That is uncanny! That reminds me, I had a dream about one of my cats right before he was born. In the dream he was long haired and pale yellow. Soon after that we found kittens, and one was long haired but white with a yellow color point on his ears and tail. He looked just like the cat I had dreamed about, except for being white instead of yellow. As he grew up his hair darkened a little and now he looks exactly like he did in my dream.
Haha I had the same dream. A lot of psychics say I'm very intuitive which I think I am a little. But sometimes I can't distinguish between paranoid or intuitive. Anyway, when I was 18 (way before I started calling psychics) I dreamt of this guy, like saw his hair, his facial features and body built and he was kissing me in my dream and it felt so real even after you wake up. A year after I met the same guy with the same features and we got married after 8 years of being together.
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I had one reader who said my supervisor is blonde so I thought that was a miss because she's brunette. I had my reading over the weekend. Monday came and my supervisor had blonde highlights that she almost looked blonde. My jaw dropped.
That is uncanny! That reminds me, I had a dream about one of my cats right before he was born. In the dream he was long haired and pale yellow. Soon after that we found kittens, and one was long haired but white with a yellow color point on his ears and tail. He looked just like the cat I had dreamed about, except for being white instead of yellow. As he grew up his hair darkened a little and now he looks exactly like he did in my dream.
Haha I had the same dream. A lot of psychics say I'm very intuitive which I think I am a little. But sometimes I can't distinguish between paranoid or intuitive. Anyway, when I was 18 (way before I started calling psychics) I dreamt of this guy, like saw his hair, his facial features and body built and he was kissing me in my dream and it felt so real even after you wake up. A year after I met the same guy with the same features and we got married after 8 years of being together.
Psychics always tell me this too. Last night abundance visions kept bringing up my intuitive abilities and that i should delve into them deeper
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Bahahaha
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Persian Medium told me my ex would masturbate in the shower thinking of me and then cry after because it reminded him how much he missed me. I still laugh thinking of the "showers of shame".
ROFL that's hilarious
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Persian Medium told me my ex would masturbate in the shower thinking of me and then cry after because it reminded him how much he missed me. I still laugh thinking of the "showers of shame".
She always brings up masturbation in her readings..how many days since he last did it and so on :) I suppose sex sells..
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Persian Medium told me my ex would masturbate in the shower thinking of me and then cry after because it reminded him how much he missed me. I still laugh thinking of the "showers of shame".
She always brings up masturbation in her readings..how many days since he last did it and so on :) I suppose sex sells..
Freud would have a field day!
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Persian Medium told me my ex would masturbate in the shower thinking of me and then cry after because it reminded him how much he missed me. I still laugh thinking of the "showers of shame".
She always brings up masturbation in her readings..how many days since he last did it and so on :) I suppose sex sells..
Is Persian medium the $30/minute psychic??? Or someone else?
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She is charging something like $32.99/min, when I called her she was charging $17 and I think it was the very next week she started charging $23... good to know I wasn't the only one getting masturbation predictions lol!!! No one else mentioned that and I did not ask either, she even sent me a follow up after and mentioned it again!
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I called her when she was new on Keen,and had affordable prices.She brought up the masturbation on several occations..:)
I dont call her anymore,she is waay to expensive.But i suppose its now the Beverly Hills women that get all the juicy stuff:)
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I called her when she was new on Keen,and had affordable prices.She brought up the masturbation on several occations..:)
I dont call her anymore,she is waay to expensive.But i suppose its now the Beverly Hills women that get all the juicy stuff:)
Was she good? I called her for 2 minutes a few months ago.
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I called her when she was new on Keen,and had affordable prices.She brought up the masturbation on several occations..:)
I dont call her anymore,she is waay to expensive.But i suppose its now the Beverly Hills women that get all the juicy stuff:)
Was she good? I called her for 2 minutes a few months ago.
She is not worth her rate at all.I am happy that i found out when she was new.She is overly positive,at least in my case she was..and "everything will be fine,he is all yours hun"..This is now 5 years ago..nothing happened.
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I called when she was newer on Keen and still charging affordable rates, she was pretty good then but every time I checked back she raised her rates so I called others more in line with my price. When I went through the horrendous breakup with Mr. Showers of Shame and was calling everyone I called again and she was soooooo overly positive and even though she told me what I wanted to hear, I felt ripped off after and swore to stop calling the pricey ones.
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Ugh her reviews in keen are all positive!
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Oracles by Krista told me that I should buy two concert tickets and a CD and leave it on someone's desk and they would take me. I'm totally sure his wife would appreciate that ::) Inappropriate much? lol
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Oracles by Krista told me that I should buy two concert tickets and a CD and leave it on someone's desk and they would take me. I'm totally sure his wife would appreciate that ::) Inappropriate much? lol
This lady Nikki on CP told me my POI masturbates to my pictures... what is with all the masturbation talk from psychics?
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This lady Nikki on CP told me my POI masturbates to my pictures... what is with all the masturbation talk from psychics?
How does knowing he masturbates to your photo help you in any way in the grand scheme of things? Psychics really do need to rethink what they tell their clients sometimes.
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This lady Nikki on CP told me my POI masturbates to my pictures... what is with all the masturbation talk from psychics?
How does knowing he masturbates to your photo help you in any way in the grand scheme of things? Psychics really do need to rethink what they tell their clients sometimes.
It doesn't! And I know he is sexually attracted to me, we have been friends for 4 years so it's not like he is afraid to tell me I turn him on but what it means as far as our future relationship goes? Nothing! Plus I felt like she wasted my money telling me that when I was asking her how things will go between now and when we get to see each other again (it's long distance). I wanted to know how communication will be, if a situation with a mutual friend will cause issues, etc and she goes on about that, I actually had to cut her off and say please answer my question.
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I don't remember how because it was years ago, but a reader on Keen told me that my old boss was involved in terrorism and with Isis :-\ I was asking if he was going to move back to Australia (he owned the company I worked for so that would mean losing my job) and she said he couldn't close it because he was funding them. He came back from his vacation the next week and announced he was moving home and shutting down, and he was soooooo not someone who would be involved with terrorists. He was not even middle eastern and I kept telling her that and she kept saying he was then bringing up Isis! She was only like less than a dollar a minute so my friend and I let her keep blabbering for a bit for pure entertainment.
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It's funny you only think it's Middle Easterns. Isis has recruited both white male/female recruits, as well as British people, although I don't necessarily believe what she told you.
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It's funny you only think it's Middle Easterns. Isis has recruited both white male/female recruits, as well as British people, although I don't necessarily believe what she told you.
I am fully aware its not just Middle Easterns sorry, I phrased it wrong, she kept describing him as Middle Eastern and I kept saying no he is a white Australian and then she went on about Isis..... he had a pretty common name, Nick, so I don't know how she went off assuming he was anything....
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;D ISIS is a bit of a long shot. That's really funny.
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I am fully aware its not just Middle Easterns sorry, I phrased it wrong, she kept describing him as Middle Eastern and I kept saying no he is a white Australian and then she went on about Isis..... he had a pretty common name, Nick, so I don't know how she went off assuming he was anything....
Yeah, it now appears as if the reader was just whacked.