Yes, FlutterShy, it is an enormous challenge NOT to internalize that rejection and allow it to be a reflection of our self worth. I spent a lot of time believing/thinking that I wasn't attractive enough for him, etc. etc. when none of that was true at all. I later realized he wasn't going to commit to any woman. And I discovered months later, when his mind gets quiet, the woman that he still thinks about is me. But it was a lot easier for me to believe that there was something wrong with me.
I actually don't believe in love addiction as a cognitive problem. We are all addicted to love. Love is what makes the world go round. We do, however, pine after people who don't return our affections because we believe untrue thoughts about our worth and about what we need in order to be happy. Thoughts such as:
I can only be happy with him
I need his approval to validate my existence/worth
He is the only one who will love me
He isn't with me because there is something wrong with me
Of course, it isn't as straightforward as that because each person/soul is unique and essentially irreplacable, so even if we do find the strength/healthiness to move on eventually, there's always a small part of our heart that grieves and yearns. I think for me, it came down to recognizing that I had to look out for me, and that included moving on and attempting to mirror the selfishness my lover had showed me. Someone on this forum said, "The world didn't end because I put myself first." I love that.
I still think about him several times a day. He's in my thoughts constantly. I am not over it. But I recognize that I need to make efforts towards putting myself first. This includes, not looking at his or his brother's Facebook, not reaching out to him anymore (he knows how I feel) not allowing my thoughts of him prevent me from living my life NOW, and not calling psychics to find out what he is going to do. I think if a guy called a bunch of psychics to inquire about me, I wouldn't want to be with him. I've decided to follow my lover's example and become fiercely independent. I'm going to try to start dreaming about a new, indepedent, strong and happier me, and stop dreaming about him.
At least, I'm going to try.