Do psychic readings stop us making our own progress?

[jdd2003]

Tjoy, of course it's harder with an ex, but sometimes you just have to be a bit more rational about it. I think often the readings delay the healing process because we become of two minds instead of staying in control and moving forward. I actually think calling about an ex is really counter-productive. I know, I've been there. All it does is make you hold on to something you should be letting go of, whether it's just for now or for good

Smee, I completely agree with you on how readings should be used. But I think it's fair to say that by and large people get readngs done more often when they are in self-doubt or in a crisis. I know I do. But then I start questioning things more and more and I feel my self-esteem has been affected quite badly as I get readings. I think this happens because one becomes remote to the situation, rather than staying in it as it were.

[elcaliente]

jdd,
I'm curious.  Why do you feel you are remote to the situation, when you get readings?
In my case, a reading gives me another viewpoint. It permits me to see a situation from another perspective that I am not able to know without.

Smee, I completely agree with you on how readings should be used. But I think it's fair to say that by and large people get readngs done more often when they are in self-doubt or in a crisis. I know I do. But then I start questioning things more and more and I feel my self-esteem has been affected quite badly as I get readings. I think this happens because one becomes remote to the situation, rather than staying in it as it were.

[jdd2003]

Smee,

Been a rough week (and we're only on Wednesday- WHERE IS THE WEEKEND?!) and I have gone being on 3 second mental delay to a 4.5 second mental delay so I think I didn't express myself correctly.

What I mean is that when we get readings we somehow become less active participants in our lives because we are waiting for something to happen. For instance, is someone is told by a reader that they will be communicating with person x in a 5, the said someone is likely to sit back and become more passive and wait for this event to occur. Instead of living in the now, readings usually lead to people living through the reading. It's just human nature. If someone is told you will speak to so and so in a 2, then that person waits for it to happen. Operative word...waits. If you didn't know that, is it not more likely that you would initiate the conversation yourself?

I just personally feel that readings have taken a lot away from me in terms of being in control of my life and my happiness. I started speaking to psychics in a very difficult point in my life when I was incredibly ill and no one was able to help me. I'd rather not go into detail, but understandably my self-esteem and confidence were shattered. Being at a happy and healthy good point in my life now, I have noticed in the last few months that taking control makes me so much happier. I don't need a (possible) psychic to tell me I will speak to the guy I'm casually seeing now in a 1 because I just get hung up on am I going to hear from him instead of being normal and communicating with him when I want to

[elcaliente]

jdd,

I think some circumstances might be quite different than others.  I don't know that I view a reader giving me a "1" for contact as an incentive to "wait" and not make a call myself, because in my circumstance I don't have the option to make contact.  That's not to say that I don't have a phone or active fingers to make the call, mind you, my limitation is because I sense the current mental state of the subject of my desires and I weigh whether contact from me is advisable or not.  Some of that information is garnered from my readings, other is garnered from a history with the individual.

No one in my umpteen readings has ever suggested I not contact.  I have posed the question and received answers like "it might not be advisable" or "it would be better not to", but ultimately the choice is mine.  And I make it based upon a couple of criteria:  How I am feeling in terms of what does my inner voice tell me to do; how I sense he is feeling and what the reader's assessment of the current situation is.  At no time do I disregard any of the three criteria when deciding what I should or should not do.

Although I do know what you are suggesting.  If indivdual A is told that individual B is going to do such and such on date C, then I see that there could be a potential for individual A to change nothing, so that such and such occurs as predicted on date C.  And I can see when that does occur.  I think the only thing I can underscore in this discourse is that the psychic reading is  simply a tool and should not outweigh any intuition or message that you hear from your inner voice.  Psychics are human, they have foibles just like the rest of us, and good ones will always tell you that if something feels right to act on it, even if it contraverts the information they have given you.

Smee,

Been a rough week (and we're only on Wednesday- WHERE IS THE WEEKEND?!) and I have gone being on 3 second mental delay to a 4.5 second mental delay so I think I didn't express myself correctly.

What I mean is that when we get readings we somehow become less active participants in our lives because we are waiting for something to happen. For instance, is someone is told by a reader that they will be communicating with person x in a 5, the said someone is likely to sit back and become more passive and wait for this event to occur. Instead of living in the now, readings usually lead to people living through the reading. It's just human nature. If someone is told you will speak to so and so in a 2, then that person waits for it to happen. Operative word...waits. If you didn't know that, is it not more likely that you would initiate the conversation yourself?

I just personally feel that readings have taken a lot away from me in terms of being in control of my life and my happiness. I started speaking to psychics in a very difficult point in my life when I was incredibly ill and no one was able to help me. I'd rather not go into detail, but understandably my self-esteem and confidence were shattered. Being at a happy and healthy good point in my life now, I have noticed in the last few months that taking control makes me so much happier. I don't need a (possible) psychic to tell me I will speak to the guy I'm casually seeing now in a 1 because I just get hung up on am I going to hear from him instead of being normal and communicating with him when I want to

[jdd2003]

Smee, I completely agree. However, I think you're in a better position than most in that case. i think if things are generally going well it's easier to use readings as a tool. On the contrary, when things are rough, like just after a break up, it's harder to do that and the readings start dictating behaviour or lack thereof. If someone told me yes I could contact someone, but it's not advisable (which by the way in my current situation someone did and luckily I ignored that advice), I would still question it and spend my time questioning is it right or wrong, instead of just going for it. I think unless you're in a good place in your life, it's better to stay away from depending on readings.

[jdd2003]

Jordie that's good advice. I think you must be referring to Kisha no? She pulls out numbers like that. I started this thread because I would see a lot of people posting repeatedly in feedback on reader's pages and it just seems like some cannot go without knowing the next tiny thing - getting contact and then calling for when is the next, and the next, and the next. Ultimately though, I think I've still come to the conclusion of not really wanting to know.

[elcaliente]

jdd,

I love your optimism for my case!!  And believe me I will use that as a tool for myself also.

Actually, I think in my case things couldn't be worse.  I have had no contact from my beloved for 5 months after a 5 1/2 year relationship that ended with a phone call out of the blue.  We never see each other, have no mutual friends, and right now I have every reason to believe he has spent the better part of the last 5 months lying next to another woman. 
He asked that we preserve what he called a cherished friendship - that he wanted to talk, and do things together and such - so far nothing.  I sent a simple text wishing him a happy holiday weekend that was ignored.  Frankly, as I look at my situation it's tragic....but I continue to hope because the relationship we had was pure joy for both of us.

Smee, I completely agree. However, I think you're in a better position than most in that case. i think if things are generally going well it's easier to use readings as a tool. On the contrary, when things are rough, like just after a break up, it's harder to do that and the readings start dictating behaviour or lack thereof. If someone told me yes I could contact someone, but it's not advisable (which by the way in my current situation someone did and luckily I ignored that advice), I would still question it and spend my time questioning is it right or wrong, instead of just going for it. I think unless you're in a good place in your life, it's better to stay away from depending on readings.

[jdd2003]

Smee

I am really sorry to hear you're hurting but this is exactly my point. There is hope and then there is hope. One kind is the kind we carry while getting on with life and letting it be on the backburner. The other is what happens when we speak to psychics. The sheer act of speaking to psychics makes it an active thought and that's what holds us back as individuals and people when it comes to these situations. I am not saying give up,  but it will be easier to get through each day when it's not something that's actively thought about. By speaking to psychics about some of these things we prolong out pain and our time to heal because we're picking at the wound instead of letting it heal. Everything that's meant to be will be- and til you get there you might as well live it up, work hard and party harder

[Furah2fun]

Jdd2003, great post and good mantra to live by!!!

[elcaliente]

jdd,

We're really on the same page.  I have consulted enough readers to get a fair sense of how they predict the outcome will be.  I have to say that at first I consulted advisors without giving a lot of consideration to whether they are considered accurate or not.  After reading this forum, I determined a core group I wished to consult based upon if they are respected and their accuracy rate and have enough information assembled from those readings that I feel comfortable leaving it now ( I am in Cookie's line right now, and will decide when my turn comes up if I need to read with her or not).

That was a process that took some time, because I had to find out who I could rely on, and who I felt was not so connected. At no time have a secured a reading because a predicted date for contact came and went without a result. I've always maintained that the outcome is all that matters.  Indeed, once that is done it is best to continue to "restore" and let the Universe go to work.

Smee

I am really sorry to hear you're hurting but this is exactly my point. There is hope and then there is hope. One kind is the kind we carry while getting on with life and letting it be on the backburner. The other is what happens when we speak to psychics. The sheer act of speaking to psychics makes it an active thought and that's what holds us back as individuals and people when it comes to these situations. I am not saying give up,  but it will be easier to get through each day when it's not something that's actively thought about. By speaking to psychics about some of these things we prolong out pain and our time to heal because we're picking at the wound instead of letting it heal. Everything that's meant to be will be- and til you get there you might as well live it up, work hard and party harder

[tjoy12]

Jdd -

Love what you said about hope and the differentiation between the two.
So super true.

When we call readers, we are picking at the wound and not letting it heal. There was a moment I wanted to stop, but then the pain was immense because I realized that I would not have this 'hope" to hold onto any longer.
It's almost like you realize that calling has been some sort of connection with your guy and when that is gone, there is nothing but reality to face.

Then there is the anger that you allowed yourself to stay in that position for so long.
I'm glad though that now I don't want to call. It was weird. When I called Kisha on Friday, i got anxious again when I should have just continued on in my not calling. I was already at two weeks.

But now I'm starting to feel better again and am following through with my decision I'm making irregardless of what readers say. I know It's healthy for me and that's what matters

[jdd2003]

Hey Tjoy,

I feel the same way, I feel like it makes me anxious and it's a lot easier to just get on with it.

What you said about having this 'hope' is so true. BUT, you said it feels like some kind of connection. Is it really, though? Is it not just a load of rubbish? If you're not interacting with the person on some level, even if it's a text message every 3 days, then do you have any connection at all?

 I was caught in this rut with readers as well, feeling like I had a continuing connection to someone I really should have just told to f off a lot sooner. Obviously, I wasted a good number of months on that guy and it pains me to think how many beautiful pairs of shoes I could have bought for the money I wasted on psychics.

My other thing is also that no matter what a psychic says, I always have my doubts. Are they really psychic? How could someone know so much about one person they've never laid eyes on? I just don't think it's possible really. People are deep and complex, male or female, it doesn't matter. At the end of the day we are all the same. This is why I mentioned the thing about waiting for contact. I think it's detrimental. I could have waited for the contact, or done what I did which was contact him myself. And I am so glad I did because it has lead to a nice new development.