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Do psychic readings stop us making our own progress?

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jdd2003:

--- Quote from: tjoy12 on September 19, 2012, 02:44:28 PM ---
One way that I started to look at readings was that if what I'm holding on to is only because what readers are saying and not what my situation validates - then there is a problem.
I have a hard time now believing what they say because my situation looks opposite to that.

I had a reading on Friday, but before that, I had gone 2 weeks without having one and honestly, I felt great and in control of the situation. I told myself that I was going to pull back if contact did not progress. Well, it did not progress and so I was prepared to make the decision to cut him off.

Dummy me - called Kisha on Friday and was given the same prediction about him having a convo with me in October in regards to the relationship moving forward. So naturally i felt conflicted.

This is how readings affect you and I hate it.
So now I had to think - if I didn't have readings and looked at the situation for what it is, what would i be thinking - that he's playing games - so i now have to base my decision off of that.

It's crazy because when you stop having readings, it's like going through a detox as you flush out that stuff in your head and you can then begin to see and think clearly based on what you see.
I was set back a bit just by one single reading and am getting back to looking at reality.

--- End quote ---



This is precisely what I am talking about. You reached a point of saying no thanks, I'm done with this, but then get reeled back based on a reading instead of living in the now and going with what's happening RIGHT NOW. I did this for months with a guy who frankly just doesn't deserve me. Readers have told me he will be back, he will be back - the thing is I really don't care if he is or isn't. He's done something anyway for which I have written him off completely anyway. I literally have nothing to say to this person and that should have happened ages ago were it not for readings. I truly feel that this is not how we are supposed to live.

I've just decided no more of that. I've continued interacting with this guy - and in a surprising way. It's completely put a smile on my face today. I wouldn't have wanted to know this and I truly don't think anyone could have told me that things would go like this. I'm so enjoying it and looking forward to how things go next. I also find that it's just easier to be myself than thinking ' oh if I say this, I will seem too intense or too this or that' rather than just going with it and doing what comes natually. Maybe this is just me, but it's what I've found happens to me in the past - I strat questioning everything rather than being happy, enjoying the moment and going with it.

Furah2fun:
Tjoy, I think that's a great realization you have reached. Over the last two years that I have had readings I stopped listening to my inner voice, and that is never good. I realized that it may well be possible that this situation works out, but I can't base my life on that and alter my behavior. By doing so, I remain in limbo and not in control of my life. So I finally decided to let go, including ceasing readings in the process. I just can't continue to wonder would I be healed if I had done so last year at this time. But I can't change the past, time to move on. I am an eternal optimist, so it is very difficult for me to give up on anything. However, when I realized that the readings were giving me false hope, I realized it was dangerous to my psyche. Of course for others it may be different.

jdd2003:
TJoy12, the way to look at it is- who cares? Maybe he'll contact you, maybe he won't. October is a few weeks away and it will progressively be getting colder i.e. we should be milking the last of the warmish weather and living it up. If you speak to him, cool. If not, you won't have been waiting for it, thinking about it etc.

Smee, I agree with your point about having hope, but I think it can be damaging and devastating in most instances. Even when people say they will not dwell on it, it's hard not to as the sell-by date approaches. When the time passes and quite often the prediction doesn't pass, the let down can be immense and trigger a need to call psychics again to hear that something will still happen. If the hope wasn't there, the possibility for let down would be there either. I think it just contributes to emotional volatility to be waiting on certain events to happen.

tjoy12:
@Truelove - I think you and I very similar in our reasonings. I do feel that maybe I'm being given false hope and I don't want to give any more of my time or thought to support that any longer. I became angry at myself - angry that I allowed myself to allow readings to give me false hope - angry that I allowed him to treat me like an option when I have been so much more to him at one point.

I know it has only been 3 months, but I'm still angry at even allowing that amount of time - but I have started telling myself I need to do what is best and healthy for me and letting go is the best thing.
I can't even imagine how you felt about if you would have been done last year maybe you would have been healed. That is hard.

@Jdd - I have tried to look at it like I don't care, but honestly, it's difficult with an ex bec the feelings are so intense. With a new guy, it's different. I can't say that if he doesn't contact then i won't have been waiting for it and thinking about it. It's just the truth.

I don't like the idea of being treated like an option when I was so much more at one time. This may not be the truth, but it's how i feel.
I can't validate that the readers are right in saying he's just taking his time and such. Sure he contacts me every week, but when he contacts me a lot one week and then the next week only once - what girl wouldn't be confused?
In my mind - he is not worried about losing me because he would be sure to communicate his intentions. Since this is not happening at all, I feel like an option and I have a hard time believing what the readers are saying.

My reality does not reflect the readings at all so like True said, it can become dangerous to the psyche.

elcaliente:
Great job, tjoy!

Listen, not everyone is facing a relationship crisis as there are all sorts of reasons to consult psychics, but I'd be willing to bet that most situations that call for a consultation are situations that have already caused immense self-doubt in the querent.  A relationship break up is horrible.  The person that exuded confidence and felt on top of the world one day, suddenly, and often with one simple heartbreaking conversation, is rendered to a person that questions who they are; questions their self-worth; questions their ability to have what they want in life.  I know this has been the case with me.

Now the important part is to consider the reading as a tool.  You have to "use" that tool. So when I read posts on here from members that claim they are "waiting" to see their predictions manifest, or are considering that they were "holding on" to something that has presented itself as ellusively and continuously out of reach, it is entirely possible that the "tool" has not been properly used?

Think back to a time before this horrendous event occured.  Has something changed in your opinion of yourself?  I know in my case that has occurred. And that is natural. I am trying to restore the person I knew I was before this happened, because when I was that person, my ex found me, was magnetically drawn to me, wanted more than anything to be with "me".

I think the words "moving on" suggests that you are to replace the person that meant so much to you.  At times like this, just the concept of having to superimpose another person's image over the memories you have made with your beloved is unconscionable and distasteful.  It suggests you must settle - and settling implies that you still don't and can't have what you consider the best. 

I think the words "letting go" in situations following a break up imply the need to  "give something more up" - a dream; a hope; a memory.   Letting go suggests to me that I must give up yet more beyond what I have already sensed as "lost".  At these times, giving anything is arduous in itself.  We find outselves incapable of giving anything because we feel stripped of everything.  However, it's important to know that just because I am not living those dreams, creating those memories right now, does not mean that it will always be that way. 

In my opinion, a better expression to use to stimulate the querent to not allow the situation to inhibit themselves is "restore"!  Restoring means doing what you were doing the day before this tragic event occurred.  Isn't it true that you woke up that day ready to take on the world?  Were you riddled with self-doubt?  Did you question who you are?  Did you fear the future?

After a reading, if you find yourself "holding on" are you actively "restoring" or are you standing in place waiting for something to come into your life to restore you?  That is the distinction, in my opinion.  In my opinion, if a reading tells me someone is coming back, what's really important is what I do with the time between the reading and the predicted outcome.  If I remain stationary, frozen in time until the outcome arrives, I've done nothing to restore myself so that I can once again exude the self-confidence and optimism I had before the event occurred.  Chances are, even if I had an opportunity to bump into my ex, he would see a person that is a shadow of the person he was once inexplicably drawn to.  It's important after a break up to become that person again - what inspires you to do so can be anything - as long as you remain inspired and "restore". 

If a psychic reading that could or could not be accurate gives you inspiration the "restore" then use it as such a tool.  And if, just if, that prediction was not an accurate reflection of a future reality - but if, just if, I used that tool to restore myself to once again become the being I was before it occurred, by the time I realize that the outcome has not come to pass, I will already have expanded my lifestyle and seen opportunities presented to me, such that the new reality is not so crushing and the future appear not so daunting.

That's the approach I am adopting, and it is a process.  I know it doesn't happen immediately but as long as I continue to inch forward day by day, then I know I will get there.

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