Do psychic readings stop us making our own progress?

[jdd2003]

I was just thinking about this and thought I'd pitch the idea...

Over the last few years I've spoken a lot to psychics and feel like I am way to dependent. I am trying to stop myself from doing this as it's not necessary. Other people get through life perfectly well without speaking to psychics so surely I can do the same. Today something dawned on me though...

Yesterday I spoke with Aries Intuition. I really like her and find her very accurate. She predicted that I would communicate with my guy within a one. I did indeed speak to him today. However, I am the one who initiated the contact. It was a fantastic conversation that's had me smiling all day. The reason I decided to contact him myself is because I stopped and thought about it realistically- he is blatantly into me, so surely it's not offering encouragement if I am always waiting for him to contact me. Perhaps he thinks I must not really be into him since I never contact him. I could have sat and waited for him to communicate, and maybe he would have initiated it today, but doesn't that take away my control from me? So, technically, AI was right in that it was within a one that I spoke to him. But it did get me thinking on how many times I might have missed an opportunity because I was so hung up on what a psychic said that I would almost be frozen to action.

I think it's really dangerous to get caught up in these readings like I have in the past. It strips control from us. I think a lot of people stay in something instead of walking away because a psychic sees x,y or z. Or we don't take actions because predictions. I could rely on readings that he will do this or this, or you'll hear from him in so many days, but I realised I run the risk of ruining things. Psychics are like a security blanket. Isn't it better to just let go, go into life with your whole heart and live in the moment?

[Truth]

great post. i think, for me, sometimes i get nervous about my decisions. like - if i do this or don't do this how will that affect the outcome. or, should i even put energy into this, will it go anywhere? but you are totally right - that's what life is all about.

[loops77]

I think there is a tendency to get passive from readings...you do forget to stop living and do what you would normally do in some situations. Definitely. There is a time to be passive, as well as a time to be active. Its just a matter of learning how to balance it.

[Furah2fun]

This is a grest post.  With respect to romantic readings, I think if one is in a stable relationship then the need to call lessens.

I know I altered my behavior staying in a situation too long based on what the psychics told me. Turns out I should have trusted my own instincts.
 

[Lincoln Memorial]

I was thinking the same thing.  Maybe I don't want to know what is around the corner.  If I do, I might take a different path.  There are few enough surprises in life, maybe by consulting psychics, we are doing just that -- taking the surprise out of life.  I said to myself, no more readings for a while.  It is time to live life. 

[elcaliente]

I think it was sapphire21 who said to me that a psychic reading should be treated as a roadmap of the route you are on with respect to your desires.  Psychics should not be consulted to get you to your destination...but they can show you what you might encounter along the way and therefore this roadmap can prepare you for what you might encounter.  You simply get a snapshot of where your current path might take you.  The route shown on the roadmap is determined by the energy of the situation at the time of the reading.   This "insight" can be helpful. It's akin to writing a speech several days before a presentation, versus attempting to do it extemporaneously without preparation.  Sure there are some that can think on their feet, but in sensitive situations, a little preparation can be of huge benefit.   

 

I was just thinking about this and thought I'd pitch the idea...

Over the last few years I've spoken a lot to psychics and feel like I am way to dependent. I am trying to stop myself from doing this as it's not necessary. Other people get through life perfectly well without speaking to psychics so surely I can do the same. Today something dawned on me though...

Yesterday I spoke with Aries Intuition. I really like her and find her very accurate. She predicted that I would communicate with my guy within a one. I did indeed speak to him today. However, I am the one who initiated the contact. It was a fantastic conversation that's had me smiling all day. The reason I decided to contact him myself is because I stopped and thought about it realistically- he is blatantly into me, so surely it's not offering encouragement if I am always waiting for him to contact me. Perhaps he thinks I must not really be into him since I never contact him. I could have sat and waited for him to communicate, and maybe he would have initiated it today, but doesn't that take away my control from me? So, technically, AI was right in that it was within a one that I spoke to him. But it did get me thinking on how many times I might have missed an opportunity because I was so hung up on what a psychic said that I would almost be frozen to action.

I think it's really dangerous to get caught up in these readings like I have in the past. It strips control from us. I think a lot of people stay in something instead of walking away because a psychic sees x,y or z. Or we don't take actions because predictions. I could rely on readings that he will do this or this, or you'll hear from him in so many days, but I realised I run the risk of ruining things. Psychics are like a security blanket. Isn't it better to just let go, go into life with your whole heart and live in the moment?

[elcaliente]

I think that depends upon how you define passive.  If you mean that you use the information from the psyhic to govern what choices you make, regardless of what your inner voice is telling you, then I agree.  A good psychic should always advise that you should listen to and tune your own intuitive powers.  We all have them; we just may not be as aware of them.

My view of the value of a psychic reading (assuming we are speaking of a reading with a reputable professional) is that it serves as a second set of eyes, not jaded by the emotions of the situation, that can see through the fog that clouds our own vision. By the way, that emotion sometimes causes us to react in a fashion that might not be in our best interests, if only we had the ability to see the entire picture from an objective standpoint. 

I think there is a tendency to get passive from readings...you do forget to stop living and do what you would normally do in some situations. Definitely. There is a time to be passive, as well as a time to be active. Its just a matter of learning how to balance it.

[jdd2003]

Loops, the word 'passive' almost sums it up. I don't think it's that I become passive, more that I feel like a bunny in the headlights and don't know whether to do a or b. I really thought yesterday that this is utterly ridiculous, this is a two way street and if I like him, why worry about contact instead of just initiating it myself? There are two people here and more likely than not, he's just as happy when I start a conversation as I am when he does. We're all human and it's nice to know someone is thinking of you and wants to speak to you/see you/etc.

I do think really think that by and large readings can stop us from taking action...especially as we wait to see whether something the psychic has told us will manifest or not. I could have waited for my guy to contact me and I would have missed out on our chat yesterday. Why? Because I initiated it out of something that sparked a little humor. He loved it! I shall now congratulate myself on my wit. 

I find I am a lot happier going with the flow and being in control. The anxiety crops up after a psychic reading and I feel the need to go back and revalidate what was said. The reading I've had from Aries Intuition ws basically that this will be slow going as he goes through some things, but once he's done with that, he'll be able to offer a stable, loving relationship if I am still interested. She gave me some timing....8....could be eight months, eight weeks....frankly, who really cares about worrying about that when I get such a kick out of him right now. I still believe in fate and feel like whatever is meant to be will be. I'm also a lot more confident and a lot more myself without the psychic readings as there's no extra info playing in my mind and I can just enjoy the moment

[tjoy12]

One way that I started to look at readings was that if what I'm holding on to is only because what readers are saying and not what my situation validates - then there is a problem.
I have a hard time now believing what they say because my situation looks opposite to that.

I had a reading on Friday, but before that, I had gone 2 weeks without having one and honestly, I felt great and in control of the situation. I told myself that I was going to pull back if contact did not progress. Well, it did not progress and so I was prepared to make the decision to cut him off.

Dummy me - called Kisha on Friday and was given the same prediction about him having a convo with me in October in regards to the relationship moving forward. So naturally i felt conflicted.

This is how readings affect you and I hate it.
So now I had to think - if I didn't have readings and looked at the situation for what it is, what would i be thinking - that he's playing games - so i now have to base my decision off of that.

It's crazy because when you stop having readings, it's like going through a detox as you flush out that stuff in your head and you can then begin to see and think clearly based on what you see.
I was set back a bit just by one single reading and am getting back to looking at reality.

[elcaliente]

All very valid comments. If you have arrived at a point where your inner voice clearly says to stop, then by all means do so.  That's the guage for me.  Perhaps I will reach that point, also.

I feel it important to  note that there are lessons to be learnt from all of these experiences.  Maybe one of those lessons is personal growth and optimism.  Don't get me wrong, I, too, do not wish to be placed in a position where the readings I have received permit me to operate on "false hope", and certainly in my case that is a distinct possibility I will admit.  But even if the hope is not founded in reality....does the "hope" real or otherwise have a value of its own?

What if that hope allows me to face each dawning day with more optimism? 
What if that hope propels me to shed the depression and begin to step forward on my path "knowing" that what I desire is just around the corner? 
What if that hope brings new energy within me that is palpable to others that I interract with? 
What if that hope lifts me out of despair and the new energy created by it magentically draws other people into my life?
What if that hope allows me to be myself again - the person that my ex once loved beyond all - the person that could walk in a room and everyone would notice?
What if that hope "prepares" me to be a newly invorgated me, that would attract a new opportunity that I otherwise would have missed while wallowing in the self-doubt that these situations tend to create?

Would then the hope (false or otherwise) have helped me? 

One way that I started to look at readings was that if what I'm holding on to is only because what readers are saying and not what my situation validates - then there is a problem.
I have a hard time now believing what they say because my situation looks opposite to that.

I had a reading on Friday, but before that, I had gone 2 weeks without having one and honestly, I felt great and in control of the situation. I told myself that I was going to pull back if contact did not progress. Well, it did not progress and so I was prepared to make the decision to cut him off.

Dummy me - called Kisha on Friday and was given the same prediction about him having a convo with me in October in regards to the relationship moving forward. So naturally i felt conflicted.

This is how readings affect you and I hate it.
So now I had to think - if I didn't have readings and looked at the situation for what it is, what would i be thinking - that he's playing games - so i now have to base my decision off of that.

It's crazy because when you stop having readings, it's like going through a detox as you flush out that stuff in your head and you can then begin to see and think clearly based on what you see.
I was set back a bit just by one single reading and am getting back to looking at reality.

[jdd2003]

One way that I started to look at readings was that if what I'm holding on to is only because what readers are saying and not what my situation validates - then there is a problem.
I have a hard time now believing what they say because my situation looks opposite to that.

I had a reading on Friday, but before that, I had gone 2 weeks without having one and honestly, I felt great and in control of the situation. I told myself that I was going to pull back if contact did not progress. Well, it did not progress and so I was prepared to make the decision to cut him off.

Dummy me - called Kisha on Friday and was given the same prediction about him having a convo with me in October in regards to the relationship moving forward. So naturally i felt conflicted.

This is how readings affect you and I hate it.
So now I had to think - if I didn't have readings and looked at the situation for what it is, what would i be thinking - that he's playing games - so i now have to base my decision off of that.

It's crazy because when you stop having readings, it's like going through a detox as you flush out that stuff in your head and you can then begin to see and think clearly based on what you see.
I was set back a bit just by one single reading and am getting back to looking at reality.

This is precisely what I am talking about. You reached a point of saying no thanks, I'm done with this, but then get reeled back based on a reading instead of living in the now and going with what's happening RIGHT NOW. I did this for months with a guy who frankly just doesn't deserve me. Readers have told me he will be back, he will be back - the thing is I really don't care if he is or isn't. He's done something anyway for which I have written him off completely anyway. I literally have nothing to say to this person and that should have happened ages ago were it not for readings. I truly feel that this is not how we are supposed to live.

I've just decided no more of that. I've continued interacting with this guy - and in a surprising way. It's completely put a smile on my face today. I wouldn't have wanted to know this and I truly don't think anyone could have told me that things would go like this. I'm so enjoying it and looking forward to how things go next. I also find that it's just easier to be myself than thinking ' oh if I say this, I will seem too intense or too this or that' rather than just going with it and doing what comes natually. Maybe this is just me, but it's what I've found happens to me in the past - I strat questioning everything rather than being happy, enjoying the moment and going with it.

[Furah2fun]

Tjoy, I think that's a great realization you have reached. Over the last two years that I have had readings I stopped listening to my inner voice, and that is never good. I realized that it may well be possible that this situation works out, but I can't base my life on that and alter my behavior. By doing so, I remain in limbo and not in control of my life. So I finally decided to let go, including ceasing readings in the process. I just can't continue to wonder would I be healed if I had done so last year at this time. But I can't change the past, time to move on. I am an eternal optimist, so it is very difficult for me to give up on anything. However, when I realized that the readings were giving me false hope, I realized it was dangerous to my psyche. Of course for others it may be different.

[jdd2003]

TJoy12, the way to look at it is- who cares? Maybe he'll contact you, maybe he won't. October is a few weeks away and it will progressively be getting colder i.e. we should be milking the last of the warmish weather and living it up. If you speak to him, cool. If not, you won't have been waiting for it, thinking about it etc.

Smee, I agree with your point about having hope, but I think it can be damaging and devastating in most instances. Even when people say they will not dwell on it, it's hard not to as the sell-by date approaches. When the time passes and quite often the prediction doesn't pass, the let down can be immense and trigger a need to call psychics again to hear that something will still happen. If the hope wasn't there, the possibility for let down would be there either. I think it just contributes to emotional volatility to be waiting on certain events to happen.

[tjoy12]

@Truelove - I think you and I very similar in our reasonings. I do feel that maybe I'm being given false hope and I don't want to give any more of my time or thought to support that any longer. I became angry at myself - angry that I allowed myself to allow readings to give me false hope - angry that I allowed him to treat me like an option when I have been so much more to him at one point.

I know it has only been 3 months, but I'm still angry at even allowing that amount of time - but I have started telling myself I need to do what is best and healthy for me and letting go is the best thing.
I can't even imagine how you felt about if you would have been done last year maybe you would have been healed. That is hard.

@Jdd - I have tried to look at it like I don't care, but honestly, it's difficult with an ex bec the feelings are so intense. With a new guy, it's different. I can't say that if he doesn't contact then i won't have been waiting for it and thinking about it. It's just the truth.

I don't like the idea of being treated like an option when I was so much more at one time. This may not be the truth, but it's how i feel.
I can't validate that the readers are right in saying he's just taking his time and such. Sure he contacts me every week, but when he contacts me a lot one week and then the next week only once - what girl wouldn't be confused?
In my mind - he is not worried about losing me because he would be sure to communicate his intentions. Since this is not happening at all, I feel like an option and I have a hard time believing what the readers are saying.

My reality does not reflect the readings at all so like True said, it can become dangerous to the psyche.

[elcaliente]

Great job, tjoy!

Listen, not everyone is facing a relationship crisis as there are all sorts of reasons to consult psychics, but I'd be willing to bet that most situations that call for a consultation are situations that have already caused immense self-doubt in the querent.  A relationship break up is horrible.  The person that exuded confidence and felt on top of the world one day, suddenly, and often with one simple heartbreaking conversation, is rendered to a person that questions who they are; questions their self-worth; questions their ability to have what they want in life.  I know this has been the case with me.

Now the important part is to consider the reading as a tool.  You have to "use" that tool. So when I read posts on here from members that claim they are "waiting" to see their predictions manifest, or are considering that they were "holding on" to something that has presented itself as ellusively and continuously out of reach, it is entirely possible that the "tool" has not been properly used?

Think back to a time before this horrendous event occured.  Has something changed in your opinion of yourself?  I know in my case that has occurred. And that is natural. I am trying to restore the person I knew I was before this happened, because when I was that person, my ex found me, was magnetically drawn to me, wanted more than anything to be with "me".

I think the words "moving on" suggests that you are to replace the person that meant so much to you.  At times like this, just the concept of having to superimpose another person's image over the memories you have made with your beloved is unconscionable and distasteful.  It suggests you must settle - and settling implies that you still don't and can't have what you consider the best. 

I think the words "letting go" in situations following a break up imply the need to  "give something more up" - a dream; a hope; a memory.   Letting go suggests to me that I must give up yet more beyond what I have already sensed as "lost".  At these times, giving anything is arduous in itself.  We find outselves incapable of giving anything because we feel stripped of everything.  However, it's important to know that just because I am not living those dreams, creating those memories right now, does not mean that it will always be that way. 

In my opinion, a better expression to use to stimulate the querent to not allow the situation to inhibit themselves is "restore"!  Restoring means doing what you were doing the day before this tragic event occurred.  Isn't it true that you woke up that day ready to take on the world?  Were you riddled with self-doubt?  Did you question who you are?  Did you fear the future?

After a reading, if you find yourself "holding on" are you actively "restoring" or are you standing in place waiting for something to come into your life to restore you?  That is the distinction, in my opinion.  In my opinion, if a reading tells me someone is coming back, what's really important is what I do with the time between the reading and the predicted outcome.  If I remain stationary, frozen in time until the outcome arrives, I've done nothing to restore myself so that I can once again exude the self-confidence and optimism I had before the event occurred.  Chances are, even if I had an opportunity to bump into my ex, he would see a person that is a shadow of the person he was once inexplicably drawn to.  It's important after a break up to become that person again - what inspires you to do so can be anything - as long as you remain inspired and "restore". 

If a psychic reading that could or could not be accurate gives you inspiration the "restore" then use it as such a tool.  And if, just if, that prediction was not an accurate reflection of a future reality - but if, just if, I used that tool to restore myself to once again become the being I was before it occurred, by the time I realize that the outcome has not come to pass, I will already have expanded my lifestyle and seen opportunities presented to me, such that the new reality is not so crushing and the future appear not so daunting.

That's the approach I am adopting, and it is a process.  I know it doesn't happen immediately but as long as I continue to inch forward day by day, then I know I will get there.