Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story
soulmates???do they always end up together? and why is it such damn hard work!
cj:
I thought everyone could post any info they had about this complicated crap about soulmates.
THREE KINDS OF SOUL MATES
Did you know there are three main kinds of soul mates?
They are: Karmic, Companion and Twin Flames. Study the different kinds and discover which category your soul mate falls under. This will give you a broader understanding of why he or she has come into your life. To help you, I will explain the differences.
KARMIC SOUL MATE
The karmic soul mate experience is very common. You can have many of these in a lifetime. They enter your life to teach you an important lesson. Karmic soul mates can be co-workers, family members or close friends. One young woman particularly close to me comes to mind. Her name is Amanda Jane, and she is about twenty years my junior. She jokes that I must be her mother from another life. What makes our friendship special is that we touch on a spiritual level.
I often wonder why Amanda was brought into my life. We are very close, but what lesson am I to learn from her? To enjoy life again? Amanda comes from a dysfunctional family. Am I here to teach her a lesson? Am I to show her that she is loved and cherished? It can and does work both ways.
Sometimes karmic soul mate relationships can be romantic in nature; but if so, they won’t last long. That is because these relationships are solely meant for learning lessons and for growth rather than for obtaining a life partner.
Another thing we must keep in mind is that not all karmic relationships are human. Sometimes, pets we consider to be special members of our family can display the same karmic characteristics as humans. An example of this is Avis Townsend’s story “Back With Eli” in the karmic section of the book. Ms. Townsend’s story shows there are special relationships we can have with our pets to the point where the bond between pet and human becomes so deep it’s hard to dismiss it as anything other than the true karmic soul mate relationship.
Another point to remember about karmic soul mates, as well as other kinds of soul mates, is that each one, whether human or animal, comes into our lives for a reason and to teach us a lesson about ourselves.
COMPANION SOUL MATE
A companion soul mate relationship can be a relationship that is romantic in nature. It involves your wife/husband or someone you are intimate with. Oftentimes, these soul mates are not destined to be with us forever but, like Karmic soul mates, are brought into our lives for a purpose.
It is possible to spend a lifetime with your companion soul mate if you haven’t met your twin soul. However, when the twin soul is found, the companion soul mate relationship could suffer. When this happens, the companion soul mate relationship is generally short-lived or, if it continues, a non-satisfying one. However, this is no reason to jump ship when it happens. Remember, there is a reason your companion soul mate is in your life (for example, so you can raise children together).
When your twin soul comes into your life and you are in a companion soul mate relationship, it is important that you take things slowly. It may be that the companion soul mate relationship will come to an end—or it may not. One thing you must keep in mind is that ending an existing relationship solely because one feels one has found one's twin soul is never a good idea, because over time you will realize that both associations are meant to be and both have an important role in your life.
An interesting aspect of the companion soul mate relationship is that we put more of our energies into it. The karmic soul mate relationship tends to go at an easy pace, without much effort from either partner, as it does with twin souls. The companion soul mate bond requires more work on our parts to sustain a healthy, loving atmosphere.
TWIN FLAMES
This is the highest form of soul mate connection. Your twin soul is your other half; to find your twin soul is like finding yourself. We go through our life searching and searching, and what we don’t realize is that we are looking for someone just like us. Sometimes, we find them in this life and, other times, in other lives.
I believe they are always around, but for some reason it is not apparent. Perhaps we close our eyes to them. We don’t listen and observe. We go through life at such a hectic pace we don’t stop and take in things that would otherwise be apparent, so the presence of a soul mate could hit us flat in the face and we wouldn’t even know it. This is sad, because we have missed that one, rare opportunity for total bliss and happiness.
IDENTIFYING A SOUL MATE RELATIONSHIP
In order to find your soul mate, you must know what to look for. I have compiled the ten most important traits in recognizing your soul mate. Read them to help you decide who your own soul mate(s) is.
ACCEPTANCE
Your soul mate must accept you for who you are. He or she must accept your weaknesses as well as your strengths. Your soul mate does not try to change you, nor do you try to change them. He or she lets you be yourself, for the more you are yourself, the stronger your bond with your soul mate has a chance of becoming.
ENCOURAGEMENT
Your soul mate makes you feel good about yourself. He or she never criticizes, only encourages. If they cannot do this, then they are not your soul mate.
NURTURING
Your soul mate cares about you and what happens to you. He is the first to be by your side in accomplishment and defeat. She picks you up when others throw you down. He nurtures your spirit so you can roll with the punches, no matter where they fall.
FRIENDSHIP
Your soul mate is your best friend in the entire world. She or he laughs with you, cries with you, sings with you. They are there for you when life throws you those bad curves; they are there for you when you surpass your highest expectations of yourself. A soul mate will understand you and give you what you want and need without hesitation. She will make you feel at home, comfortable and at ease.
As you would with any friend, take the relationship slow. Savor each milestone of firsts: the first time your eyes meet, the first time his lips brush against yours, the first afternoon spent together walking through the park or along the seashore or even just in your own backyard. You have to remember that if you end up together, these “firsts” will be ingrained in your memory forever. Cherish them.
GENEROSITY
Your soul mate is generous. He gives freely of his time and his possessions. She will ditch whatever she is doing to be with you. He will give you your heart’s desires. She will give you her heart and soul, if need be.
CONVERSATIONALIST
Soul mates are interested in what each other have to say. My soul mate and I would spend hours contemplating the mysteries of the universe. Since we thought alike, we never did stop talking. We talked about our past, our present and our future. As we had so many things in common, each of us was interested in what the other had to say.
PREMONITIONS
You may have premonitions of your future soul mate in dreams. Whether they are when you are asleep or when you are in meditation, you will picture your soul mate as if he or she were standing in front of you. You will note the color of their hair, the sound of their voice, their way of walking. You will picture your soul mate as you want them to be. If you are fortunate enough to be able to do this—and it can happen anytime, anywhere—remember it. For, in time, your soul mate will appear in front of you just as you envisioned.
POSITIVE KARMA
One of the main ingredients for a successful soul mate relationship lies in the power of karma. In layman’s terms, karma is basically the theory that whatever you do, there will be another event to follow that is directly consequential to your actions. Therefore, the law of karma teaches us that what we do today may come back to haunt us tomorrow. How does this apply to the soul mate phenomenon?
If you are in a bad relationship, and you continue to remain in that relationship, you are setting up a path of bad karma for yourself because of the negative energies that arise. Once you learn to set up a shield against this negativity, good karma will infiltrate your life and open your soul to a promising and healthy soul mate relationship.
Not until this happens will you ever receive a satisfactory soul mate union. Both parties must bring good karma into the relationship. You have to remember that we are all souls, just pure energy “visiting” this planet; and we have been here many times. Neither partner can come from a place where negativity is present, or the soul mate experience just won’t occur..
SPIRITUAL CONNECTION
You will feel a connection with your soul mate, as if you had known him or her before. You will feel an energy radiating between you. You will look into each other’s eyes and see each other’s soul, for that is where the true soul mate connection lies.
Not enough can be said about the spiritual connection between soul mates. It is the most important quality in a soul mate relationship. You will feel this in the depths of your heart and soul. Without it, the soul mate relationship is doomed.
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Your soul mate will love you more than anything or anyone he has loved in his entire life, although he will give you freedom to be who you are. “You cannot possess a soul mate any more than you can possess a person in your physical world,” says Robert Egby, author of Thank You For The Flowers. “Soul mates are free and must always be so. Love cannot be possessed or controlled. Soul mates are together because they share an unconditional love, a mutual vibration. There are no exceptions.”
PERFECT TIMING
Other things come into play in seeking your soul mate that you might not count on. One is perfect timing. If it isn’t the right time for you and your soul mate to be together, it will likely not happen.
DO YOU ONLY HAVE ONE SOUL MATE?
I have learned in doing research for this book that many people do not believe in soul mates. They say they have searched and searched for the one person who will make them happy, and have given up. They have come to the conclusion they do not believe there is one, and only one, person who is perfect for them.
They are absolutely right. There is no one person who is your soul mate because, as I noted earlier, there are at least three types of soul mates. Those who do not believe at all are missing an important part of their life experience, for it is our search for our soul mate that makes our spiritual journey complete.
The bottom line is, don’t give up. Our soul mates are out there. Perhaps, they are right under our noses and we don’t even realize it.
cj:
“The One”-- Your True Soulmate Are you with your "true" soulmate or has
someone else fulfilled your heart's
desire?
In interviewing over a hundred couples for my new
book Divine Complement. I was struck by the
similarity in the stories of how soulmates met and
the divine creative design that drew them together.
From those still looking for their soulmate I am often
asked, "How will I know he or she is "the One"?
Listed here are a dozen characteristics, indicators
and clues that he or she is your authentic Divine
Complement.
1 You are magnetic opposites. It's true! Most
soulmates are opposites who complement each
other's strengths and masculine and feminine
traits.So if your partner seems stubbornly
rational when all you want from him or her is listen
to your emotional needs or follow your intuitive
lead in making a major decision, you are likely
complements who need to apply a balanced
approach. The greater function of a soulmate
relationship is to mirror each other's less realized
and actualized traits and talents and to blend them
together into a productive balanced partnership.
2 Your soulmate is not perfect and has caused you to discard your wish list of ideals.Your true soulmate may not match your qualifications
for the perfect mate or match.Rather he or she is
a 'soul-match', meaning they will help evolve your
soul out of its previous conditioning and urge you to perfect the love you were meant to give freely and unconditionally. 3 A dream may have announced your soulmate's entrance on the stage of life with a loud trumpet call .Many soulmates dream of each other months or even years before they
actually meet.It seems that they rendezvous in
the ethers before the relationship ever lands on
earth.A mysterious dream lover or a stranger
who waltzed into a room in your house in a dream,
may have alerted you that your soulmate reunion
had been divinely planned for the near future.
4 Magic was afoot the day you met and reached a crescendo in the weeks that followed. " It was kismet" sums up the experience and the world around you took on the
air of'somewhere over the rainbow'.Serendipity
and synchronistic signs may have alerted you that
he or she was "the one.""A soulmate awakening"
as I coin these experiences reveals a dimension of
creativity that is full of magic and meaningful signs
to authenticate your soulmate's identity.
5 You were introduced by a member of your family or a friend.A large percentage of soulmates are introduced by a friend or family
member who innocently played matchmaker,
usually without any idea that they were bringing
you together for life.Other souls collaborate with
you to make your soulmate dreams come true.
6 You met at someone else's wedding or in church. Soulmate meetings are meant to tie the knot with a meaningful event or situation that
points you to the profound spiritual connection you
share and to the divine nature of the relationship.
7 A divine spark lit your heart the moment your eyes met.Most soulmates attest it was love at first sight.Lucille Ball recalled that when she
met Desi it wasn't exactly love at first sight."It
took all of 5 minutes." The divine connection
between twin souls creates a synergy that ignites
each other's hearts with a powerful love energy--it
is spiritual chemistry.
8 You ran into each other over and over again before you ever dated.Sometimes the love spark doesn't catch the first time, and soulmates
need several encounters before they connect in a
more meaningful way.It may seem like God
pushed you together.The soulmate play on the
stage of life may have many scenes and acts
before the wedding feast.
9 Your partner seemed "oh so familiar" even on the first date.Soulmate relationships are karmic which means you likely spent several lifetimes
together.Your soul remembers their soul
intimately even if the details of the past lives are
never revealed.
10 Your relationship presents challenges that seem like unfair spiritual tests.Your soulmate seems to know what buttons to push to help you
cj:
Quick true inspirational story you'll love and that I've told before:
My friend was with this guy for four years. He met some other woman and had a baby by her. My friend was distraught (like me) but she loved him, and she took him back. he then got the same girl pregnant again! (can you believe it!) so she took him back again and finally after I knocked some sense into her she left him. She and I graduated college and she moved to Florida. Ther guy ended up with the mother of his kids of course. He moved in with her and everything.
Meanwhile my friend had her life moving in all positive directions. She brought a house, and she had a new bf she moved in with for two years. So one day her new bf told her he didnt love her and he was moving out. ( )
Her and her ex that had two daughters by now was living on his own. He and the mother of his kids broke up and he was living by himself. When my friend became available he committed to her, married her and now they have a newborn baby.
They were broken up for 4 1/2 years. I witnessed the whole story unfold like a Nicholas Sparks movie.
Who wouldve thought they would be back together. But he said after being without her for so long he realized that she is all that he wants and sometimes that takes years for them to realize that. You just have to have faith girl. Maybe it won't happen now. Maybe it won't happen with him but it will happen. Soul mates will always come back. No matter what. Have confidence and believe that love in its truest and rarest form does conquer all...even if it doesn't end the way you want it to.
positivethoughts:
Well, as Ellen Hartwell said to me, I'm very sorry, but you are in a soul mate relationship but I am happy to tell you that you met your soul mate for this lifetime. Sums it all up.
Luckystar:
pt did she say that exactly?????
she told me i will have met two soulmates in this life
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