Dilemma

[elcaliente]

Hey everyone - I's appreciate your input.

I have a dilemma.  I've read with some well-respected readers (in fact, I am only focusing on their advice at this point - and am disregarding any other readings that I had before).

As a little background, I have not made contact with my ex since he announced that we were done.  That was about 2 1/2 months ago.  He's made no contact with me, either.  There is a third party  in the picture, we believe.

Anyway, several of my "dream team" readers have suggested that I could send a friendly text in the next couple of days.  Nothing reminiscent of our relationship - just a quick "hello".  Two of my "dream team" advisors have said it's best to hold tight and wait for him to make contact.

So I have a dilemma.  Now, the "camp" that is promoting I say "hello" are empaths.  The "camp" that suggest hold tight are predominantly Clairvoyants that use tarot for tools.  What say you?

If it matters which readers said what, then I'd be happy to share in PM.

[SomethingBetter]

Go with your gut.

I will say though, I don't rely on empaths for predictions or telling me what the outcome of action x may be.

[elcaliente]

but empaths do have a handle on the state of emotions and mindset of the other party, don't they?

[elcaliente]

What type of reader do you rely on for predictions and outcome?

Go with your gut.

I will say though, I don't rely on empaths for predictions or telling me what the outcome of action x may be.

[elcaliente]

So, would it be correct to say that you could better rely on an empath that is also a clairvoyant/clairaudient/clairsentient?  Of are you more inclined to rely on those that read cards?

but empaths do have a handle on the state of emotions and mindset of the other party, don't they?

yeah they do but for that moment so if you want to do that then you have to speak with them then call your sm right after as feelings change.

[Furah2fun]

I have been in this same dilemma with my ex several times. I wll say nothing good for me has come out of reaching out. Before this most recent breakup (or disappearance really), i sent a text and got a lackluster response the next day. I was pretty upset, so I never responded. Then i wrote back several days later and he never responded. (By the way, all the psychics told me he would respond and he didn't...and i used both empaths and claivoyants.)

 If you can handle getting a lackluster or no response, then go ahead. But if not, don't do it. It will make you feel worse. I for one hate waiting, and in the past always reached out, but then ended up feeling worse about the situation. I guess, it also matters what the pattern in the relationship has been. If you really feel like reaching out, I would wait a bit longer and see if the feeling passed. During a break last year,  I reached out. We still got back together, but my reaching out did nothing to expedite the process.
  If your ultimate goal is to get back together, then I would wait, especially if there is a third party involved. If you want to move on, and you contact him, and he responds unfavorably it may help you move on as well.
  Good luck, whatever you decide!!!

[elcaliente]

So far there's been no contact in the 2.5 months. I haven't contacted him and he's not contacted me, but in the readings it indicates that he has interest and yet is apprehensive.  There's good reason for his apprehension.  He left aburptly, leaving the relatoinship and a professional arrangement at the same time.  He knows it was wrong - he admitted it at the time. 

My rationale to send a "holiday wish" for the weekend was just to show that there are no hard feelings to prevent him from reaching out.  I am not sure I am expecting a response.... I guess one would be nice, but I was thinking of it as a gesture that I simply taking the high road in this situation, and leaving him to contemplate what he wishes to do.

I have been in this same dilemma with my ex several times. I wll say nothing good for me has come out of reaching out. Before this most recent breakup (or disappearance really), i sent a text and got a lackluster response the next day. I was pretty upset, so I never responded. Then i wrote back several days later and he never responded. (By the way, all the psychics told me he would respond and he didn't...and i used both empaths and claivoyants.)

 If you can handle getting a lackluster or no response, then go ahead. But if not, don't do it. It will make you feel worse. I for one hate waiting, and in the past always reached out, but then ended up feeling worse about the situation. I guess, it also matters what the pattern in the relationship has been. If you really feel like reaching out, I would wait a bit longer and see if the feeling passed. During a break last year,  I reached out. We still got back together, but my reaching out did nothing to expedite the process.
  If your ultimate goal is to get back together, then I would wait, especially if there is a third party involved. If you want to move on, and you contact him, and he responds unfavorably it may help you move on as well.
  Good luck, whatever you decide!!!

[Furah2fun]

So you are doing it to "keep the door open", so to speak? Just make sure you are strong enough, in case you get no response. or do it with no expectations.

 

[elcaliente]

@truelove - Yes, that is the reason it was suggested - to open the door.  No expectations for a reply.  Just an attempt to take away a perceived obstacle.

So you are doing it to "keep the door open", so to speak? Just make sure you are strong enough, in case you get no response. or do it with no expectations.

[glinda]

Go with your gut.  Seriously.  I've been in that position several times and got a very rude awakening when the response I got was not what was "in the cards".   
Especially if you're getting mixed messages from the readers.   

[Furah2fun]

@smee2,

 Did you end up contacting him?

[elcaliente]

Yes, I sent a quick friendly text wishing him a happy holiday weekend- nothing more, but he didn't reply.

@smee2,

 Did you end up contacting him?

[SomethingBetter]

Question, if you don't mind sharing, which advisors told you to contact him and which didn't? And the ones who told you not to, did they say what their reasonings were?

[elcaliente]

First, let me say that I didn't send the text expecting a particular reply. While it would have been nice and certainly I would have appreciated a polite reply like, "thanks, you too" I sent the text to open the doors to communication, because some advisors had told me that he was apprehensive and didn't know how to reach out to me.  So, I was just breaking the ice, as it were.   Let's see.  The advisors that thought it would be a good idea were:

Midnight Magical Spirit said she thought it would be a good idea
Abundant Visions/Gaylene said it would help to let him know I have no hard feelings
Source Power said she thought it would be a good idea to open up communication
Mikki Reno said she thought it would be a good idea as a catalyst to communication
Sapphire21 said she thought it would be a good idea as a catalyst to communication
Your Message From Above/Aurora said it would be a good idea
Vallentina Rose said it would not be a bad idea

NorthstarJulie advised that while it wouldn't hurt to send a text, she wouldn't do it if she were me, because she would not want him to get what he wants
Matthea said he won't respond
Samantha Wild said he would respond but in a tight manner, not relaxed.

Question, if you don't mind sharing, which advisors told you to contact him and which didn't? And the ones who told you not to, did they say what their reasonings were?

Upon learning that I sent the text and received no reply, three advisors said it was because he is not ready.  One advisor said he is contemplating what to say, to represent his feelings without them being construed by me as a lie.  Two advisors said he is thinking about what to say, and an answer will come soon. One advisor said that the absence of a reply is telling in that it shows he still has feelings, because if he had no feelings, he wouldn't have had to think much about how to reply, and it would have been easy to just send a quick, "thank you, you too".  I see that reasoning, I guess, but I also don't rule out the possibility that either he didn't believe it warranted a reply or that he was trying to show me that I am not important to him.

All of the advisors said he was thinking about me now.

[Furah2fun]

Well you took the high road and that's good. Now he knows you don't hate him and you can be satisfied that you made that clear.