Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story

Fm and the not so good ending with SM.

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positivethoughts:
fm - Live your life, enjoy the new guy (if you really like him), keep dating and don't worry about choices or what will happen when he comes back. I did the same thing - what if he comes back when I'm with December guy. Somehow it just all works out. If there is a choice to make, it will be clear.

I'm not trying to give you false hope - but - I thought my relationship with SM was over 100 times. I even remember saying what you said to kiki. If you look at the reality, it is done and over. Facebook connection severed, not returning calls/text/email, all the same stuff. SM did NOT want a relationship, didn't want to commit to me or anyone else, insisted on dating other people, decided that our conversations had to become surface so I wouldn't 'stay' attached, towards the end he wanted to keep all chatting via email to make sure I understood he didn't want what "this" was turning into, all of the BS. It was bad bad bad. He said, he is a commitment phobe with attachment problems and he refused to hurt me. That he was protecting me from himself. I've basically broken up with him twice. We've gone month's without any communication. It's been 6 month's of going back and forth like this. I've cried myself to sleep many nights. As bad as things were, there is no one who has ever made me feel as loved and cherished. Crazy - right? SM connection.........

If you read about soul mate connections, this is all so typical. CSK has a good link to some interesting articles.

Force yourself to get out there and date. Maybe the universe will throw you 'someone' good. Because if and when SM comes back, you will probably have another bumpy ride. 

fm:
Hmm, would you want to be with someone on and off and gives you pain constantly? I would rather be with someone who can treasure me and makes me happy all the time.

cj:
life sin't always peaches and cream fm...right now you're bitter bc you're still hurt, as s the rest of us...but you're also only saying that bc your sm hasnt come runnng back to you yet...I bet if he did..you wouldnt know what to do? right? lol

positivethoughts:
fm - because I feel deep in my heart he is worth the wait. He wasn't ready and I was. But I'm not just sitting here either. I've been dating here and there but nothing interesting.

fm:
Hmm, I am sort of seeing this other guy now. However both of us broke up from our ex for a few months. We have been chatting for about 3 weeks and going, I think I can say I am dating him now, but right now, I am trying to go for a no strings attached relationship enjoying some intimacy and companionship. I do not know I think I like him, and he feels the same way. But the big question we have been discussing and talking is that are we seeking a rebound? A replacement for our EXes? Both of us are not sure, but certainly we are really enjoying our time together. One conclusion made, if I want to be together with him, I will let my ex go, SM or not, he is a selfish bastard, maybe time is too early to tell for this person, if we will make it as a couple in the future, I will not want to hurt him because of my attachment to my ex. Similarly he does not want to hurt me if he wants me to be a replacement for his ex. He is unsure of his feelings now, but we enjoy each other company. So what do you guys think?

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