Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent

Beat up again!

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melancholia:

--- Quote from: luckymom on July 22, 2012, 04:42:02 PM --- I know it is all my fault.
--- End quote ---


Don't blame yourself for any of this.  Seriously, this isn't your fault. 


--- Quote from: luckymom on July 22, 2012, 04:42:02 PM ---Sorry I deleted our real names.
--- End quote ---

It's standard practice - don't worry about that.

Sorry you're still going through this nightmare.  I hope things get better for you soon.

allbitenobark:

--- Quote from: luckymom on July 22, 2012, 04:42:02 PM ---
Narnia :  so he lashes out(Punishment administered with a whip.) at you instead of facing his feelings for you


--- End quote ---

So this man physically attacks you? Please walk away. Please. My father was abusive (mentally and physically) to us but especially my Mother and we (my little brother and I) used to beg her to leave him and she didn't. I can only tell you my experience from a child's POV, but it took me years to gain respect and understanding for my Mother after the hell we had to live thru because she wouldn't walk away. Him telling you to find someone to love you is the kindest thing he can say to you although it also seems he's playing mind games. In the long run, once your children see you in a happy fulfilling relationship, they will understand you leaving their father. I truly wish you not only strength but fortitude in your days ahead. You are beautiful and loving and kind, YOU DESERVE THE BEST!

Bella:
Well said decibel. And very very correct.

However I think the point that should be driven home, is that a so called "psychic" advisor, knowing her story, would encourage her not to give up hope. WTF? Are you kidding me?  They didn't give her hearfelt honest guidance and tell her to protect herself? It really makes me want to vomit, that the majority of these psychics will play with your emotions and spoon feed you what they think you want to hear. To keep you calling back. He's physically and emotionally abusive, and they tell HER to hang on? What kind of guidance is that? It is disgusting in my opinion. I think the awful fairy tale they gave her is abusive as well.

I think all the advice that some members have posted here are truly heartfelt and in her best interest. Does anyone think that that is what they psychics SHOULD have been doing? This, IMHO is way more
Unethical then giving the run of the mill fairy tale that "he will be back" something we all have heard time and time again. THIS is just more solid proof of how low some will stoop. To tell someone who was abused, to hang in there, he'll be back, a new man. OMG that makes me nuts.

Sorry, don't mean to sound angry, but THIS? Give a fairy tale to someone who was abused? IN front of the kid, While PREGNANT! They don't guide her to get help? It truly is sick, that these people would take advantage of someone who truly, truly needs guidance, at such a crucial time in her life. How heartbreaking.

Cfisher:
@bella - I second those feelings and raise my glass to you for voicing your opinion. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Keep your chin up @luckymom, we're rooting for you to get yourself out of the muck as quick as you can....

Cfisher:
@fluttershy - I have never been through what you have been through. In reading your post, man oh man my heart just breaks for you. You and @luckymom don't deserve to ever be treated like that. I understand that the heart wants what the heart wants and I don't think that that can be helped. Even though he was horrible to you, you had an emotional attachment to him, so I do believe it's only natural to miss someone that was a part of your life.

I can only imagine what it feels like on your end. And I think that what you are feeling is normal. You know you should hate him, but it's difficult to when your heart is involved.

I hope that you aren't too hard on yourself while moving slowly through the healing process and I really hope that for both of you there are support groups in your area that may be able to help you get your strength. You CAN change your life, I have complete faith in both of you.

I wish that I had the powers to take all that pain away, to erase your memory from the pain that you have been caused, unfortunately I'm lacking the magical skills to be able to do that. I know that prayer works well for many, but I believe talking things through, making up a game plan and major positive reinforcement from strong women who support you and will be there to hear you out can help you through the healing process. You deserve to surround yourself with love, light and great people and I hope that you have that in your real life.

If you ever need a friend, either one of you, please feel free to send me a PM. I know that many experiences are personal, embarrassing and the spiral of why did I stay so long, how could I do that to myself and am I ever goin to get over this are probably things that still run through your mind. But just know that you have a strong support group right here on this forum. Just know that even though many of us are strangers to each other, live in different countries and will probably never meet face to face, I strongly believe that we are all here for reasons that are beyond the logical perspective.

Please take good care of yourself, pamper yourself, you deserve it! And again, if you need someone to talk to, I'm a couple of clicks away from a conversation.

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