Relationship Psychology Discussions > Connect With Others

New Here

<< < (2/2)

scorpiogirl:

--- Quote from: sunandmoon on July 09, 2012, 11:06:03 AM ---
--- Quote from: tjoy12 on July 09, 2012, 03:20:24 AM ---Wow...so Dawn, Isabella, and Diamond (sort of) were right... :(

Well I do have to say though that I've been debating on a decision to end being friends with him so I can move on completely. It's not a friends with benefits thing at all...It's just I can't stand him calling me (although sporadically) like everything is all great and then I still have these feelings.

I've debated because maybe "friends" is his way of slowly getting back with me.
At the same time though, I'm honest with myself in that being friends is really my way of holding on to hope he will come back...prolonging the healing.

Thoughts?

Anyway, I say all that to say if I decide to cut off all ties, I can see him not coming around after all (i dunno...this is the first time we have gone through this) which therefore would make Dawn and Isabella right in a sense...Uuuugggghhhh!

--- End quote ---

I can't speak for every guy but mine did the same to me. The contact was definitely not the way it was, but he'd call me for help with his computer or offer to help me around my yard (which he never would end up doing). Over a year after he left, he'd get things from his job that were going in the trash that he thought I could use. I held on to that too, thinking he was testing the waters to make sure I wasn't going to hurt him or something. In the end, as 2011 went along, he contacted me less and less.

I held on for 18 months and it got me absolutely nowhere. Who knows why they do it? Maybe we are just an emotional safety net till THEY are healed.

--- End quote ---

"friends" is so you don't think he's an asshole. If you're still talking to him and taking his calls then whatever he's done can't possibly be THAT bad, can it?

ANd yes Sunandmoon it is kind of an emotional safety net. They know there's always ONE person in the world who cares about them and when everyone else is against them or has rejected them in some way, they know that YOU are there because of how you feel about them. Once they've established that you're still there in the background, feelings unchanged, they feel safe with that knowledge and can go on their merry way again till the next setback which is when you'll get a call, a text or an email.

Luckystar:
"Have any of you read with the above specifically Dawn, Isabella, or Diamond? I want to know your take...I guess because I don't want what they say to be true especially when so many others disagree. "

I only read with Dawn, and i think it was only once because she was not very detailed....the things she told me were rather neutral. Said that my ex was not in love with the girl he was with but wanted to stay with her for the time being (i lost my notes from her). She also said he was verbally abusive towards her (which Eden had also told me)...i am pretty sure that part was right. Anyway, she said he would start to come around again and he did....but i remember thinking she was not all that great which is why i never called her a second time.

Synergy:
Dawn was correct for me on two occassions regarding outcome and once regarding contact.  I don't read on CP anymore, so I haven't spoken with her since earlier this year.  I will say that both my outcomes were negative in nature, so I don't know if she merely always gives a negative outcome or if she was simply correct.  Her and Gelsomina were the only CP readers who were right for me on outcome. 

Luckystar:
Thanks for sharing tjoy....do let us know if there is contact in August :)

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[*] Previous page