Getting closer to 2 whole weeks without readings

[Mina]

I’m excited to say I very close to having 2 whole weeks free from psychic reads! Whoot whoot! (And yes I’m doing via catholic lent self shaming style😆… and yes I understand that’s not a lot really 😳)

I want to say more but then it gets bloggy

Ok I lied, I can’t help it I do want to share this insight that I got from HHP workshop. To stop outsourcing my inner trust or inner confidence; I do think depending on readings does rob, or has robbed me of that. I also believe in a higher power, God. I think it’s a tricky discernment of tug and war: trust yourself, no trust in God, no trust your gut, no trust the universe, don’t let your desires lead, but God gave you desires so you should be happy, can’t take your desires when you die, everything happens for a reason, ugh who cares it’s is meaningless, to feeling broken, ugh to what can I can trust?, what will last… i agree it’s existentially overwhelming

I do think Im aware what brought me to this (psychics) feeling like an addiction; that I couldn’t trust myself to date this guy or the next. That it wasn’t safe to love that guy, or trust this person, or that I’d be happy to move forward. I have learned first hand self regulating with psychics is such misery… especially as people pleasing perfectionist. But I am finding I have made mistakes and I survived! And it’s ok. I gone thru some friend fighting, saying the wrong thing, roomate navigating, questioning does my boss like me?, what will I do for work?, will things be ok?, can one really affirm for safety?… and so far it really truly is ok … but it definitely was not overnight miracle, that just magically happened. I constantly post about going psychic free and still feel like I fail, but I am still excited for this challenge. It is work to be happy within, but I’m feeling excited about my life.

I have a road trip coming up to celebrate my end of season of work. I’m meal prepping my healthy snacks on the road, spas I’m going to visit, spending money for new clothes… and it’s so good to know that I have saved more this season from last year. And worrying about a psychic read is just not the table: whom to get reading from, was so and so right, when can I schedule with so and so, how can I pay for it, etc. Most of the reads feel like bust anyways and not at all what I had hoped, best accept that disappointment as quickly as possible.

I do feel excited about life, I keep saying that… but I do and there’s really not much of a specific reason, or person, or job as to why… just that I do

[Notacrystalfreak]

Have you ever thought of starting a “quitting psychic addiction” blog?

[Mina]

I guess that’s not a bad idea

I don’t like the hate that comes with ppl who believe this isn’t the forum for it… but I do believe it is insidious part and it has been growing.

Ugh I’m struggling - I’m IN week 2.
Currently, I’m at a spa hotel and just spent money on fitness things… and feeling uncomfortable. But progress! And better than last year when I tried this, and I admit I did break a few times. I  still do feel determined. But I guess the icke feelings are hitting. The “how uncomfortable can I be without knowing” … but here’s the thing with psychic predictions… there’s still always an UNknowing anyways.

But I’m bummed a psychic prediction didn’t come thru about “SP” (sadly Sincerity… maybe it could but not now) … but it’s one of many.

I’m also quitting drinking (and smoking weed)… and that’s pffft easy! I can do that with my eyes closed! Well… no… there’s been end of the season work parties, and other social events. Before I go out I’m constantly “choosing” to be sober and “choosing” to be in a good mood. I do have to concentrate when I go to events. “Ok I’m choosing to be sober and can still have a good time and relax.” The pay off is I didn’t hook up with anyone I’ll regret, or flirt with someone because of low self esteem, I get to see how and who my friends really are (so far they’re great… but I do get headaches when tired, and they still want to go go go). However… damn, I gave up drinking and I still have heartburn at night, I still feel heavy and swollen in the morning, I still wake up sore and I don’t remember exercising… usually withdrawal (physical withdrawal) do last 2-3 weeks. Ugh… and I may have to face there is no payout because I am getting older.

With sans psychics the payouts are… can spend a little free and not worry how I’m gonna pay for outings. Such as if I have to sacrifice eating out, or better hotel stays … versus sleeping in my car between road trips. Another is my credit card bill is getting lower. I did pay out one store credit last month! Now to tackle the next one. But… things “for the better” still don’t happen, disappointments still exist, ppl still disappoint you… I wish it was in stone as a guarantee
In 24-48 hrs one’s aura will get clearer
In 2-3 days one’s liver will start detoxifying all the BS gunk psychics have said
In 2-3 weeks my anxiety skin will get clearer and brighter with discernment
In 1 month things really do play out now that one has let them
In 2-3 months one realizes they didn’t want that any ways … and there is new SP

Meh. 🫤

I wish I had quantifiable, measurable, solid, hard evidence that in quitting this one’s life does gets better… but so far the biggest difference from last year to this one is my anxiety is less. It still hurts, like the uncertainty hurts, but it’s not as bad.

[Notacrystalfreak]

Whose SP?

[Mina]

Whose SP?

Specific Person

[Notacrystalfreak]

I like reading your posts. If you want to blog here write away. I think a lot of us like to visit this forum and see what’s going on.

[Mina]

Made it to week 3!

More like currently working on week 3
I gave into a midline boundary that I did break (midline boundary: borderline from the possibility to engage in an addictive behavior. I am engaging in smoking weed- even though I had more than 90 days of sobriety with this. But staying strong in no drinking even though I am bartending at one of my side gigs)

My trigger came Sunday night. I lost my recently expensive purchased lumen and yup my mind went to well who’s a good remote viewer? But briefly… I thought of one and remembered well she is a little cray… the ends really don’t justify the means compared to staying sober. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t angry upset, hurt, and frustrated. These feelings are manageable. The money lost IS manageable.

I did find it though, that lumen (a lumen is an expensive weight loss tool), so I didn’t lose money.

Ugh, but I did go through this whole process of grief: begging, desperation, depression, anger, denial, etc

Before I found it, I prayed. Listened to father Mike Schmitz and his talk about “the view from mountain top”. Almost like the means to the end. And Father Mike Schmitz clearly states life is not that way; it isn’t pretty clean cut package and there isn’t a nicely wrapped ending where everyone gets what they want and solved.

Overall that was my biggest trigger this week. Losing something and wanting both reassurance I would find it, and knowing it was able to be found! How to direct faith id be ok.

I also questioned my whole instincts. My gut/feeling/instinct said “I’d find it, and by morning I’d be using it.” But that evening my feelings felt uneasy. Then I started to question my intuition with other things I felt uneasy or thought I needed a psychic reading: SP, career, …my tire warranty, honestly anything and random. I didn’t question other things but that is the human fallacy: use past experiences and give them same value on how I handled based on my “instincts”. At the same time there is a time and place to listen to one’s instinct and just let it be, not obsess about it.

Regardless working on week 3
Enjoying the benefits of using my money for much needed self care such as updated eye prescription, new tires… and eating out

[Mina]

So I’ve been rewriting this over and over

But yes I touched 4 weeks! 4 weeks of no psychic reads! Also 4 weeks of no alcohol! …As for weed I did give into that.

But I am so proud, excited and I feel accomplished. I’m holding a boundary to myself and that feels so good! To do right by you!

But … now yes… I do think of giving in now. I am preemptively thinking who can read with once lent ends. I also feel my finances are getting exponentially better because I haven’t called. Like that seems to be the subconscious fear behind that thought. And like my weed encounter I can’t just do it once. Ugh AND it takes me so much energy to quit… it takes so much energy to quit anything!

Anyways… I am also happy to say I just got back from the dentist. Had a long overdue dental cleaning and I love this… I am relearning to invest in me, or take care of my health… and again it’s hard. Because when I look at how much it cost… it gets scary again.

Anywho just wanted to update. Made it to 4 weeks!