Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
Healing from Break-Ups and Manifestation
Dejatu:
Okay- I went on another binge and obviously has made me feel even worse.
I am not sure if the readings today are picking up on my energy, because today I felt SO low. The first thing that came to my mind is that my POI is moving on and probably never coming back because I've seen no movement.
Funny thing is- one of the readers predicted this mood in the spread, a card directly before it gets better. My previous readings about 90% of readers (a lot of the heavy hitters here) say he will be back, and today it feels like most of the readers are saying he will not be.
So this brings me to my question....how in the world do we grieve healthily and move-on from a break-up in ways that don't impact manifestation. I am having such a hard time with this and feeling like my efforts to move-on (i.e. thinking solely about the negative parts of the relationship, focusing on why it wasn't working, focusing on the lessons) are starting to make me feel like I am throwing such negative energy at the situation. Which may result in me not getting the outcome I want... anyway- if you got this far, thanks for listening to my rant and I'm open to tips.
dragonflyer:
I feel you. I personally feel that you should let yourself feel the feelings, do not suppress them. Not having negative feelings shouldn't be the goal of life. Instead, not judging but accepting, letting all emotions flow through our bodies should be, at least to me, what we are aiming for.
I was there several times. But I am not saying what I experienced and felt was exactly the same as what you are going through. I chose to believe myself, believe that things will get better. Everything changes, good or bad. What you want at this point might or might not be what you want when you feel on top of the world.
A lot of LOA/Manifestation videos say that the trick to manifest what you want is feeling good and thinking positive thoughts. To me, that's BS! That's toxic positivity and emotional abuse to yourself.
A few books to recommend,
- The body keeps the score
- How to do the work
- Welcome to the grief club
Anyway, take very good care of yourself. You come first!
Dejatu:
Thank you dragonflyer for your motivating words! You’re so right.
I’ve read the first book, and I’ve dusted it off to give it another read. Ordered the other two. 🫶🏽
dragonflyer:
I started a book club 2 months ago and have been reading books for people. Today, I read "The Vortex". And the chapters I happened to read might resonate with what you asked. Wanted to quote what Abraham said in the book and share it with you.
"Negative emotion means that your life has caused expansion, which, in the moment of the negative emotion, you are disallowing."
"So the better solution you are asking for is this: Try to make peace with where you are, perhaps by acknowledging that this unpleasant person has helped you become very clear about how you want to be treated and about how you want to treat others; look for the benefit of the relationship rather than pushing against the unwanted aspects of it..."
My takeaways is that "being aware of where you are and how you feel, acknowledging what you want and do not want, accepting what just happened, and moving onto a better future (with or without that person) once you align with yourself" might be the way to break yourself free from this negative emotional loop. Hope that helps! We are all on this Journey. No one is alone. Good luck!
Mina:
--- Quote from: Dejatu on September 06, 2024, 08:34:11 PM ---Okay- I went on another binge and obviously has made me feel even worse.
I am not sure if the readings today are picking up on my energy, because today I felt SO low. The first thing that came to my mind is that my POI is moving on and probably never coming back because I've seen no movement.
Funny thing is- one of the readers predicted this mood in the spread, a card directly before it gets better. My previous readings about 90% of readers (a lot of the heavy hitters here) say he will be back, and today it feels like most of the readers are saying he will not be.
So this brings me to my question....how in the world do we grieve healthily and move-on from a break-up in ways that don't impact manifestation. I am having such a hard time with this and feeling like my efforts to move-on (i.e. thinking solely about the negative parts of the relationship, focusing on why it wasn't working, focusing on the lessons) are starting to make me feel like I am throwing such negative energy at the situation. Which may result in me not getting the outcome I want... anyway- if you got this far, thanks for listening to my rant and I'm open to tips.
--- End quote ---
That’s the same question I’ve been asking myself for years
And in different forms
Acceptance of fear is huge
Another word for “acceptance” is “ALLOW” or “ALLOWANCE” (I am learning that yes even “BLESSING IT” helps, like thanking your negative circumstances and fears… this is difficult but it does help move forward; and this concept has come from Florence Scovil Schinn. However I it often felt like “what? What you mean bless it? You mean thank it? Huh?!)
But if I truly knew that than I don’t think I’d be here… but now wait I do know a thing or two
I feel I have gotten the most of manifesting when I process it in a “somatic” response. (And I haven’t read the book but am huge promoter of “the body keeps the score” … yet many ppl in therapy, manifesting have mentioned this book)
But the gist of it and it’s been said in many ways “allow the fear of not having it be okay in your body” “allow what has happened to okay” and even saying “it’s okay that I’m not okay” has helped me- because essentially it’s about how I am relating to myself as a HAVING state versus seeing/feeling/experiencing myself from LACK (not feeling “enough”)
Versus deluding myself with forced affirmations, SATS (stayed akin to sleep- from Neville Goddard)
So I like manifesting with Genevieve. She does mention a lot of somatic response to manifesting and one of the few ppl who breaks down specifically (at times not all the time) Amy from illuminatingjoy can also explain it… but doing it can be different. Sometimes it’s different ppl who can help understand certain phrases click.
Gratitude also helps
But it’s not denying where you are at right now. “Manifesting is about telling the truth of who you are” I dunno where I heard that, but ultimately I agree with statement.
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