I am so glad it resonated!!
Looking back there are some major lessons I learnt. Last few years have not been easy, however they also have been very rewarding on the personal development as well as spiritually. The emotional rollercoaster I went through also made me put boundaries with my other friendships ( I have been a chronic people pleaser till now in my life) and have faced a lot of manipulation, gas lighting and emotional neglect from the people whom I have trusted as friends at times.
When him and I first started getting emotionally closer, started looking out for each other etc, I felt on cloud 9 till he suddenly without any heads up retracted and went no contact. This went on and on. I kept on being patient by thinking he needs to open up on his own accord and even if he does, what we will do with this etc, but this also gave him a lot of leeway in this whole situation where he always knew I am here no matter what. This pattern continued, he did try to tell me few times or said he wants to chat, nothing ever happened. He continued his own progress and I kept waiting, though admittedly also being extremely busy helped. Only this silent agony, where I can not even tell this to any of my friends for the fear of being judged and discussed about what this connection is, it drove me again and again to psychics.
The validation I got from psychics distracted me for the longest period of time from the red flags. I am not blaming them as few I have mentioned definitely have a genuine gift. I chose to ignore his behaviour by hoping he will get the nerve to accept and call it how it is.
This whole experience also made me go inward and meditate, listen to a lot of spiritual podcasts etc. I have raised my standards and overall access to my time and space. Earlier it was very easy for anyone to get my attention, use the time and walk away or not respond when I tried to connect. No more. This is a major shift which occurred in other areas while I was learning these lessons. I also have started a lot of spiritual practices which my religion has imbibed for spiritual growth and detachment for a soul's journey.
The long term outcome of this is still an unknown. Both of us have our own responsibilities, we are focused on our goals and staying in contact is slowly getting increasingly difficult. To his credit, he has never tried to take any undue advantage of the situation except from the only way he has been unkind is try and distance himself without considering how it may make me feel. He is also one of the kindest soul I've known, though he has unknowingly hurt me at times by being silent. He does try and lookout for everyone in his care and do the right thing overall.
The advisors whom I trust have also told me we will be in touch but he or even I would possibly never leave our situations for foreseeable future. I believe this to be true and I do not want him to leave either. Rachel Marie was the only one who said you will but not for each other and then will get together etc. She has been accurate on certain things but this one I will let time decide.
I hope all of us who come here to seek reviews know we all are special. That one person who really resonates with us and makes us feel complete, at times things do not work out. I wish him the very best and I think it is indeed time to move on for me. I have also never loved anyone like this almost daring to say almost unconditionally. I have cried silently at nights, loudly in my car on long drives, and tried to seek answers of why this, only to have received a silence and had to pick myself up to move on and move forward. This connection was something very different and it was meant to be that way.
I will update in future if anything changes. Thank you for reading. Lots of love and light..