Dang it Miscah got something else right! It wasn’t bad but it was very vague she said something on Oct 6 would change the energy; and looking back I did forget I DID reach out to my person on that date stating a boundary. But I can’t make out my notes! When I take notes with her they’re very hard to write out, I don’t like recording, so I don’t know what I meant! And the call ended; it was so short because of the connection.
Ugh 😑 and I saw she was on for cheaper rate.
Yet I’m practicing something extremely new, and hard: exposure therapy.
Basically, if uncertainty, anxiety, wanting clarification, a hot new trending psychic to call, possibly 3rd parties, my favorite psychic to catch up with, never seeing my SP again, dying alone with no cats to soothe my soul, IF all of it bugs me: LET IT!
Ugh- and this bug me so much 😑… which is so annoying but will probably be soooo good later. But yeah getting off on the things that bug me and not reacting or giving into them… and it is so frggin hard right now (and once I post this it will be even harder!)
But from my experience every time
I ask for some kind of clarity, or date, it just hooks me, I’m left looking harder “where is it?” And so far it is best to just process my feelings of “what I am making this thing mean about me?” instead of distracting “looking for it”, trying to placate my instant feelings clarification, getting depressed, or really happy- really embracing: UNCERTAINTY. So if I’m making this mean:
I’m rejected, unlovable -cool 😎!
I never get what I want-😎
I’ve been forgotten -cool cool 😎😎
Crap I dunno how things will be - 😎😎😎
And while there has not been much movement since my SP reached out and we talked, and even saw each other; i know I can be there for me and it feels so goooooooood. Doesn’t mean there aren’t bad days; this one could be. But again- it feels so good, when I get thru it. And this isn’t to gloat… this to admit it is frigging haaaaaaard! I also got paid early because of the holiday, and instead am a paying bills, listening to this book “the existential kink” which talks about getting off on the things that bug you (it’s badly written but the concept is helping).
But also trying to really unhook myself - i don’t need another psychic to put on pedestal and then dethrone … sigh again easier said than done.
Welp if I give in I’ll post about in a month
