Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent

Back After A Long Hiatus--Lessons Learned!

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Ninacy:
Older members will most probably recognize me as I've been an active member here from 2015-2020 and even gave free readings to some people through pm and emails. Anyway, the past 4 years have been a huge wake-up call for me and taught me valuable lessons in terms of psychics and spirituality in general. I have been able to break my psychic reading addiction and limit myself to up to 3 paid psychic readings a year after having over a hundred paid psychic readings. Here is what has woke me up and made me break free from my addiction:

Shock therapy/Realising what I lost for nothing.
I have literally lost count of the psychics I asked about my then ex and my love life in general and how much I wasted but I estimate it's around 5-6K from 2014-2020. Needless to say, I'd say 95% of the readings gave me false hope and were wrong. My ex never returned even though I learned he was asking about me occasionally through the years from 2-3 common acquaintances. I gave up asking about him around 2018 and moved on for good. Also, I have never met the "one" psychics were saying I would meet after him. I had a series of failed dates with guys that were "meh" at best and nothing like these psychics described. Only 6-7 psychics told me correctly that my ex would not come back and that there was no point in waiting for him but they all predicted this and that guy would come and sweep me off my feet but nada. I am now in a long-distance relationship with a man with kids and no psychic has picked up that I would meet and have a relationship with a man like that (other than my own divination tools). I'm still trying to forgive myself as I could have bought a small car with this money or had a lavish vacation somewhere. Like what was I thinking?? But I guess, I was so desperate for answers that I couldn't help myself. I went through all passed and failed readings and transcripts from online platforms and I was sick to my stomach as next to nothing came to pass. It's like this TV show where they show obese people all the junk have eaten in a year's course to shake them up. Sickening but a huge wake-up call nonetheless.

Doing some soul-searching and deep introspection to heal myself from my subconscious worries and fears
We all act, behave, and feel the way we do because there are some triggering events (good or bad) that shape who we are to the core--it's mere human psychology. I was urged to find the root of my addiction and anxious waiting for something to happen,  and turns out I had developed a deep fear of abandonment and wrong expectations after being ghosted/abandoned my some friends, past flings, and family members from a very young age. In most cases, I never got the closure I wanted which is why I was left wondering for quite a long time why this person disappeared from my life and I felt that something is wrong with me. But I realized years later that those people were toxic or no longer meant to be in my life anyway. I have now learned to see and sense both the good and the bad in people and expect everything and nothing from them if this makes any else. Like I'm prepared for the best and the worst. I no longer blame myself for other's behavior (or lack thereof) towards me.


Relying on my own tools, intuition, and divine guidance occasionally
I have been reading playing cards, pendulums, and other tools as an amateur for several years and I decided to only use them occasionally in serious matters when I cannot get answers using natural means. Sometimes the interpretation was off but I soon came to realize what they meant and they were right. I used to read for myself constantly during this dark period asking for my ex or waiting for the "one" to come but that led me to more stress, anxiety, and confusion as readings would pile up and contradict each other. When I tapped my own intuition and consulted my tools for validation after long breaks of not having any readings, things fell into place and they were very accurate.


Praying, fasting and trusting in God's divine timing
I come from a religious family and my sister became a nun three years ago, and knowing my struggle she encouraged me to have a closer relationship with God. I was detached at first,  but I felt the power of prayer and my prayers were answered sooner or later. God and my guides (who I believe are family members from the other side and Archangel Michael) have answered my prayers or made me realize that something is going to happen or not for a reason. Answers would come in dreams, daytime visions, and through my tools or intense feelings following prayer and fasting. I am so grateful for that and I have full faith in divine timing and God's plans for my life. I'm no longer bitter about what I lost, I feel actually fortunate that things happened or didn't happen the way I wanted back then. Like, I can't imagine leaving with my immature, borderline ex with money issues and addictions for a lifetime. It took me a few years to realize that but I'm glad he is no longer in my life anymore.


Another valuable lesson I learned is to never ever ask psychics or do readings yourself for a mentally unstable and wishy-washy person. The readings and perceptions are only accurate for the given moment and time they do the reading and since their feelings and behavior are unstable, they might change anytime. The reading will be all over the place and if the psychic makes any prediction, it will happen randomly/by chance. My ex was like that but I couldn't see it back then. I'm sure many of you had a similar experience which is why I shared this bit.


Bottomline, it may sound cliche but everything happens (or not) for a reason and we should let go of certain expectations when it comes to people and situations. If it's meant to be, it will be sooner or later. If it doesn't, again consider yourself lucky and think of the lesson you've learned from that person or experience. In light of the above, I strongly believe that free will can change only minor things and events in our lives--like what activity you will do next, which holiday destination you'll pick and go to, etc. Bigger life events are karmic and set in stone to happen at a certain time, according to divine timing. So every time a psychic gives you the excuse "free will has changed the outcome" for big predictions, it's only an excuse for their failure to make accurate predictions. The only exception to free will being the case is like I said before, when your POI is indecisive and mentally unstable with a history of rapidly changing feelings, behaviors, and relationships. I've only had 2-3 readers picking up that my then ex was/is most probably bipolar and his mood changes all the time, giving me little chance he would contact me and if he contacted me, it would be randomly. So if you are caught in a similar situation, I would advise you to do some healing, let go, and refrain from having readings about this toxic person. They do not deserve the time, money, and energy you spare asking and waiting for them, period.

Mattsmom:
Welcome back!  Thanks for sharing, this resonated with me  :D

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