Thanks for the update … and apologies for the novel or if long winded
If I may I think you’re going to all or nothing/black and white/absolute thinking… because I do it too! Or at least this how I relate to this. Also congratulations on going so long without a psychic.
Again be kind and gentle to yourself!
Gentle.
Bring in this soft sprinkly gentle kindness acceptance of yourself. All that intensity and care is not a force to “take away” from them- but REFOCUS it back to you.
AND also because this does helps see and feel your value.
So you miss and love your friend and ex. That’s okay! Take the stigma of what you should or shouldn’t/be or feel- aside. Put all the stigma, personal meaning of what it means about you- with kindness. But see if you can observe what you’re making it mean about you; and then gently touch that part of you. I forget I don’t think my thoughts; I first feel them; I embody the sensation of my feelings, then thoughts along with the feelings of rejection… so remember to work backwards. Easier said than done, but it is helpful. So from the embodiment of rejection I am feeling broken and hallow in my chest, then the thoughts come: “men suck, I was used, how could ppl do this to me. Why would any one pick me, etc” AND then touch this part of me from a centered calm place and GENTLE (is this absolute truth- prob not)
Have you done this exercise?
If I was with (my friend/this guy) here right now what would that mean or say about me? If they were texting me right now want to hang out and be with me with me right now: What would be relieved? Or what part of me could feel like I could finally breathe? What would this say about me?
(For me: I’d feel seen, like I can breathe, I am whole. I can also feel my body smile)
And yes the cliche answer is “well how can I give that to myself?” But it isn’t so much figuring out it’s more of this acceptance, allowance for you to be okay to be you. Freely all of you.
If you could see how God values you? See how precious you are, would you be open to allow that in? (And I hope this doesn’t trigger you; I know God concept be rough one here)
I admit I can’t do it all the time… and I’m not always open to it, nor can remember. But that word “open” when rephrased to positive question affirmations “if I could be OPEN to?” it does allow the subconscious not to have so much resistance to that possibility. So putting a pause on what you’re resisting
My therapist gave me this “homework” instead of calling a psychic about: what he’s going do? What’s he thinking about me? What’s he feeling about me? When is he going to call me?
To change “he” to “me”: what am I going to do? What am I thinking about me? What am I feeling about me? When am I going to call me?
And it does have me like “oh!” It is this weird re-parent my inner dialogue.
Refocus your value back to you, with gentleness and kindness.