Potpourri Boards > Addicted to Psychics
I want to quit
sai07:
--- Quote from: paperlantern2 on September 12, 2024, 07:24:16 PM ---I have spent untold thousands for many years, Sai. I made it 30 days without psychics in August but it reset when I met a man. Now I am resetting again. My goal is to make it to September 12, 2025. I hope to come back here and post when feeling tempted to get a reading.
THIS IS A VERY HARD ADDICTION TO QUIT.
--- End quote ---
So hard. It’s totally tied to emotions. Proud that you are resetting. For me when I slip I do the same. It’s not easy but I don’t want to give up on myself either.
russianred:
Sai, I hadn't logged into this site for many months but your thread spoke so strongly to me. I've rarely felt so affected by reading another person's posts and want to send you empathy and support.
In 2019, started to get readings compulsively. I continued on and off for a few years, but one "POI" in particular was the catalyst who sparked my interest in readings and also the person on whom I spent the most money. So much of what you have written resonates with me. I spent so much time and energy trying to make sense of why a man would tell me that I was his soulmate if he didn't want to fully commit. This would just eat away at me, and sometimes I felt like if I would follow the advice of the psychics, I would do everything "right" and then he would be fully mine. The reality is that there is no answer since many people say things that they don't fully mean. (I would bet that you're a person who does not do that and means what she says.) I would sit around and review the "evidence" for why he MUST be the one for me... he said X, Y, and Z and did A, B, and C... just endlessly seeking reassurance from myself and from readers when, deep down, I knew it wasn't actually going to work.
Psychic addiction is especially cruel because you don't get anything to show for spending thousands of dollars on someone. I mostly read on Keen and also never found someone who was accurate with the bigger picture.
The cold hard truth is that the person for you will not drive you to an addiction with psychics, even if you are an anxious person. He just won't, because he will care for you and reassure you enough to where you don't need to check in with others about it to such an extent.
Like you, I also got to the point where I started using psychics more as therapists than as psychics -- what you wrote about having that nonjudgmental space is so true. Swallowing the financial reality of using them as therapists is tough, though (paying $100 for like a ten minute phone call).
Sit out the urge the best you can when you feel that you need a reading and keep your platform accounts closed, since they prey on impulsivity. Maybe "treat" yourself to a flat-rate reading on occasion that you've booked in advance if you feel that giving up readings altogether is too difficult.
I wish the very best for you, and as cliche as it is to write -- you deserve better.
sai07:
--- Quote from: russianred on September 19, 2024, 10:12:11 PM ---Sai, I hadn't logged into this site for many months but your thread spoke so strongly to me. I've rarely felt so affected by reading another person's posts and want to send you empathy and support.
In 2019, started to get readings compulsively. I continued on and off for a few years, but one "POI" in particular was the catalyst who sparked my interest in readings and also the person on whom I spent the most money. So much of what you have written resonates with me. I spent so much time and energy trying to make sense of why a man would tell me that I was his soulmate if he didn't want to fully commit. This would just eat away at me, and sometimes I felt like if I would follow the advice of the psychics, I would do everything "right" and then he would be fully mine. The reality is that there is no answer since many people say things that they don't fully mean. (I would bet that you're a person who does not do that and means what she says.) I would sit around and review the "evidence" for why he MUST be the one for me... he said X, Y, and Z and did A, B, and C... just endlessly seeking reassurance from myself and from readers when, deep down, I knew it wasn't actually going to work.
Psychic addiction is especially cruel because you don't get anything to show for spending thousands of dollars on someone. I mostly read on Keen and also never found someone who was accurate with the bigger picture.
The cold hard truth is that the person for you will not drive you to an addiction with psychics, even if you are an anxious person. He just won't, because he will care for you and reassure you enough to where you don't need to check in with others about it to such an extent.
Like you, I also got to the point where I started using psychics more as therapists than as psychics -- what you wrote about having that nonjudgmental space is so true. Swallowing the financial reality of using them as therapists is tough, though (paying $100 for like a ten minute phone call).
Sit out the urge the best you can when you feel that you need a reading and keep your platform accounts closed, since they prey on impulsivity. Maybe "treat" yourself to a flat-rate reading on occasion that you've booked in advance if you feel that giving up readings altogether is too difficult.
I wish the very best for you, and as cliche as it is to write -- you deserve better.
--- End quote ---
Thanks so much, russianhead!
I was thinking the exact same thing, at least when you put money into a retail spree or an investment, you see some kind of return. You can actually physically see the purchase or see the money grow in your bank account. That is not the case with psychics, it eases my anxiety for like a day and then I spiral again and that money was not spent wisely at the end of the day.
In retrospect, I feel I was totally wrong using psychics as therapists bc it just prolonged this horrible cycle. And as you said, it is not cheap!
Re: people saying one thing and doing another - sometimes people like the fantasy of the relationship and don't want to commit to the work of a relationship. It's easy saying, I love you but it's work building and growing a relationship. I have seen a lot of people living in the fantasy stage, telling their gf/not gf that they "love them" and wanting to experience the benefits of being in a relationship without an official exclusive real commitment.
Re: readers, on the upside, bc no one has been correct for me on the big picture, I am finding it easier to move on from Keen. I just shut down my account again. The last reader I mentioned, he had said I would have some kind of turnaround in my love life by end of August and that's come and gone. We can say timing is fluid but ...the days pass by, life is still happening and I am getting older. The reality is I can't put my life on hold for a guy. I'll admit, I don't know how to get over my POI. Not yet anyways. But I know there will come a time when I do.
I agree with you - if this experience has taught me anything - it's that I deserve better than a guy that can't communicate, that can't commit and that makes me reach out to strangers with an expensive rate-card for advice. Mind you a lot of the readers on Keen were pleasant, but do I think it's worth the amount I sunk? Absolutely not.
Again, thanks for dropping the kind message and I wish you all the best on your journey xx
Mina:
I look at the title and reminded of the same: I want to quit too
When I examine my recent good outcome with my love interest… I didn’t always follow the exact psychic advice. I also didn’t follow exact common sense! (I mean that probably could have been done better too) but not every psychic was perfect with the outcome, and it’s still changing. Last night I was about to have a reading and I just couldn’t; I do feel disgusted with myself for wanting one … but sitting with my feelings isn’t always easy either. I can’t point a finger on it, or even label it “is it reassurance? Validation? What feels so uncomfortable that needs soothing? Security? Connection?”
And as I am journaling this morning and redoing some courses “to manifest my ideal relationship” - one question asks what I don’t want to carry into a relationship, who do I need to be to allow that? Who do I need allow my person to be (which may not be my person). to be in good solid relationship?… and short answers it’s my dependency on psychics that's whatt I don’t want in this moving forward. But to quit that is to face my current feelings now and from last night
You know so to be even more brutally honest I also reached out to my person last night and he hasn’t responded yet … despite every psychic saying I have to play slow waiting game, not chase, not be too quick to push … and normally this would turn me into tailspin “well what does he think? Did he like the message? Will he respond back? Well when? How?”and I realized no I also don’t feel hung up on him or an answer that makes or breaks my feelings (or so I say for now) on me. If he doesn’t respond when (from my grounded place) i don’t feel crazy anxious, and I don’t need that kind of relationship…
Just wanted to say so proud of you! And yeah I don’t want carry psychic on either
sai07:
--- Quote from: Mina on September 21, 2024, 01:13:47 PM ---I look at the title and reminded of the same: I want to quit too
When I examine my recent good outcome with my love interest… I didn’t always follow the exact psychic advice. I also didn’t follow exact common sense! (I mean that probably could have been done better too) but not every psychic was perfect with the outcome, and it’s still changing. Last night I was about to have a reading and I just couldn’t; I do feel disgusted with myself for wanting one … but sitting with my feelings isn’t always easy either. I can’t point a finger on it, or even label it “is it reassurance? Validation? What feels so uncomfortable that needs soothing? Security? Connection?”
And as I am journaling this morning and redoing some courses “to manifest my ideal relationship” - one question asks what I don’t want to carry into a relationship, who do I need to be to allow that? Who do I need allow my person to be (which may not be my person). to be in good solid relationship?… and short answers it’s my dependency on psychics that's whatt I don’t want in this moving forward. But to quit that is to face my current feelings now and from last night
You know so to be even more brutally honest I also reached out to my person last night and he hasn’t responded yet … despite every psychic saying I have to play slow waiting game, not chase, not be too quick to push … and normally this would turn me into tailspin “well what does he think? Did he like the message? Will he respond back? Well when? How?”and I realized no I also don’t feel hung up on him or an answer that makes or breaks my feelings (or so I say for now) on me. If he doesn’t respond when (from my grounded place) i don’t feel crazy anxious, and I don’t need that kind of relationship…
Just wanted to say so proud of you! And yeah I don’t want carry psychic on either
--- End quote ---
In the same boat, Mina. I think if I didn’t reach out to psychics tbh I would have moved on from my POI and found someone else already - or still be dating people. I mean that’s what happened in the past pre-psychics. I just left a couple relationships bc there was no movement.
It’s terrible to be in a spot where you’re over-functioning and overthinking about a dude. I sometimes wish my POI would know how much time, energy and money I spent on him and I couldn’t even get an “I love you” out of him. It breaks my heart as I type this out. Unfortunately I don’t know how to manage my feelings when I’m alone or when it’s the hours of the evening and yeah I just want someone to tell me it’s okay (aka a psychic) because I just want that period of pain and anxiety to pass.
I mean - yesterday - I was just so mad and sad that I didn’t even reach out to God - I just went to bed sad. But a part of my brain is also telling me if I am going to be in good financial shape I need to be more disciplined and that means getting my spending under control - truly this is the only area of my spending that’s chaotic - weirdly I’m ok on day-to-day budget.
I’m sorry you’re going through this Mina, but you’re not alone, and I wish you nothing but the best outcome for YOU, always here for you xx
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version