Wow! I am enjoying the free 7 day course of this stuff but it is intense. I went thru a couple videos one day then had to walk away half day because I was just processing so much. MmmAnd out of fear I was doing too well … sorta got drunk 👀 to self sabotage?
But it blows my mind and I feel like I have been saying the same thing over these last few days: I feel my ex/SP/POI just honestly filled so many unmet needs from feeling seen, validated, approved, justified or the ILLUSION that he could! And in so many areas of my life: work, religion and play like no wonder I do not want to let go. And I think just bringing awareness in that has been so helpful!
I see that I am both a fear avoidant, and anxious preoccupied attachments style. My ex came off as dismissive avoidant - and yet our chemistry was probably so intense because we were both filling out stuff we were not getting from our selves from each other. -Ugh, I hate that I probably do sound like I just joined a cult of new words.
Ooofff the kicker with dismissive avoidant - for them to feel “no contact” to “work” that makes them feel it’s effectiveness of missing you is in the 3-6 month range… now not all of these solid truths. They are observation styles of attachments of theory. (Also it worth noting I don’t think Thai Gibson is licensed therapist- I’m not sure, but I think she came out of the Tony Robbin’s quick weekend school… she’s mentioned some of his stuff) and I’m not fan of labeling ppl and sticking to it “oh they’re narcissists!” Or “They’re love language is this.” Because it kind of does hinder growth if one is too attached to such labels. I think label can help compartmentalize put in a shelf but it’s not the end all be all of human.
Probably what’s very interesting I was doing an inventory of what psychics fill for me and it is this need for certainty/safety but ALSO my uncertainty/excitement for change. For me, yes! I crave certainty for the safety, trust, and guarantees of tomorrow but I also crave the a uncertainty or the opportunity for things to surprise me (even though I hate it)
Ugh… but okay some other work: how do I give that, and those qualities to myself to feel secure and valued in myself?
I just feel a little more clearer and wanted to share if ppl have ever brought the phrase “have you thought could be in limerence?” To perhaps consider what areas of your life are you neglecting yet getting from the person or THINK you could get …and it’s very interesting
