Should I get a reading on my birthday and birthdays only?

[Notacrystalfreak]

I actually nearly got a reading on Saturday. I paid her the money (£6) but later decided I know what it is I want to do and felt bad asking for a refund (she’d probably give me it but still) so I asked her if I can have it for later and she said yes. Now I’m trying to go reading free for a year and a half and it’s my birthday in July. Should I save the reading till then or just tell her look I don’t want readings anymore can I have a refund. Would that be unfair on her to ask for a refund 6 months, or 1 or 2 years time? I didn’t really wna ask for one as she’d have to go through the effort of giving it back to me for nothing. Honestly I’m not really bothered about the money, it’s nothing really. Im asking more about whether I should get a reading just this once. But at the same time, going two years without a reading would also be a huge milestone. But at this point, I can probably say I’m not an addict, and I wonder if it’s really necessary to abstain completely from something that can be helpful? At the same time, I’ve only really had one reading from a specific reader regarding careers that has truly benefited me. So basically readings have rarely helped me. I’ve most of the time known what they told me, in fact I’d say I knew better than them. I think I know what I want writing this. I don’t want any crappy readings and be a slave to them. She can honestly keep that money (as i don’t want it to happen again where I say I want a reading then pay then refund cycle over and over again). It’s there if I ever do decide I “need” one.

[Chocolate]

Happy new year. You have done so well and only you can make the decision. Would the reading be any good anyway at only £6? I suppose you would have to decide whether to just leave it and carry on or risk that the reading could lead to having others. You will make the right decision 😊

[Notacrystalfreak]

Happy new year. You have done so well and only you can make the decision. Would the reading be any good anyway at only £6? I suppose you would have to decide whether to just leave it and carry on or risk that the reading could lead to having others. You will make the right decision 😊

It’s just a one card oracle reading hence why it’s so cheap. And yeah I think either way it shouldn’t be a life changing decision. My instinct is saying why would you go back to her again for what? She’d give good advice but what I’ve learnt is that it was a dopamine hit that I valued more than the actual advice. I’ve been to her so many times that I essentially know the types of things she can say.

[regrets]

Only you can decide.

By asking for a refund, they are a business so I'm sure other people have asked for them too. 

If you do decide to go ahead with the reading, then it will confirm what you know anyway. You're aware of the kind of things she will say and possibly the dopamine hit will be less, as you're expecting it.   So in this way, the money is positive as I confirms you know you're wasting it.

[Mina]

No

But again only you can decide. But this is coming from me who I did get readings last night and I woke up feeling down… as soon as I’m with ppl I cheer up. But if you’ve been to any 12 steps group which I’ve attended is recognizing the language of minimizing, or signs of “slipping” as and I noticed it’s things we mentioned here before, and you’re kind of doing
“Well one reading won’t hurt”
“It’s not that much money”
“It’s just one card”

But right after a reading I’m dealing with the after effects
“One is never enough”
“Well… I was in bad mood maybe so and so”
“Now I feel worse”

I think continue to make that mental inventory what are your struggle pre and post reading… and it’s good that you’re taking inventory, and taking time to pause… I think a therapist could help you sort out this stuff clearer… because none of us are qualified, plus you’re the authority of you! You decide!

But … I noticed with any 12 step group they talk about this… where someone has been sober of years and decades, no one won’t drink probably won’t hurt but could it break you from sobriety? Also what is sobriety? What is the life you want to lead? What is authentic sober living? And so some ppl I noticed stay stuck in 12 stepping thing of blaming the thing their addicted to and now in fear of it, it kinda keeps them in a different kind of cage, or others mildly enjoying one or two occasions, or just feeling a period in their life that’s done… there’s really no perfect cookie cutter answer here

And I think recognizing how scary this unchartered territory is helpful to defuse that fear and uncertainty

I’m still trying to finish “atomic habits” but I also got this book “letting go: the pathway for surrendering” by Richard Hawkins- it is semi Buddhist way approach but it was helpful reading the emotion I’m dealing with and observing it

For me I use to look at holidays as treat to get readings but now I’m 40! I decided no more holidays! I didnt get a reading for Halloween, or Thanksgiving, or Christmas- but I did yesterday and new years Eve, and Christmas Eve… the reason why I made this new rule is because I spend it in isolation … I don’t think I will get a reading for my birthday this year because it just isn’t fun anymore- it keeps me isolated and future seeking and I just don’t want to live this way, but I do struggle with it.

Just putting my opinion there, take what you like and leave the rest
Also you’re the authority of you! You decide.

[Notacrystalfreak]

No

But again only you can decide. But this is coming from me who I did get readings last night and I woke up feeling down… as soon as I’m with ppl I cheer up. But if you’ve been to any 12 steps group which I’ve attended is recognizing the language of minimizing, or signs of “slipping” as and I noticed it’s things we mentioned here before, and you’re kind of doing
“Well one reading won’t hurt”
“It’s not that much money”
“It’s just one card”

But right after a reading I’m dealing with the after effects
“One is never enough”
“Well… I was in bad mood maybe so and so”
“Now I feel worse”

I think continue to make that mental inventory what are your struggle pre and post reading… and it’s good that you’re taking inventory, and taking time to pause… I think a therapist could help you sort out this stuff clearer… because none of us are qualified, plus you’re the authority of you! You decide!

But … I noticed with any 12 step group they talk about this… where someone has been sober of years and decades, no one won’t drink probably won’t hurt but could it break you from sobriety? Also what is sobriety? What is the life you want to lead? What is authentic sober living? And so some ppl I noticed stay stuck in 12 stepping thing of blaming the thing their addicted to and now in fear of it, it kinda keeps them in a different kind of cage, or others mildly enjoying one or two occasions, or just feeling a period in their life that’s done… there’s really no perfect cookie cutter answer here

And I think recognizing how scary this unchartered territory is helpful to defuse that fear and uncertainty

I’m still trying to finish “atomic habits” but I also got this book “letting go: the pathway for surrendering” by Richard Hawkins- it is semi Buddhist way approach but it was helpful reading the emotion I’m dealing with and observing it

For me I use to look at holidays as treat to get readings but now I’m 40! I decided no more holidays! I didnt get a reading for Halloween, or Thanksgiving, or Christmas- but I did yesterday and new years Eve, and Christmas Eve… the reason why I made this new rule is because I spend it in isolation … I don’t think I will get a reading for my birthday this year because it just isn’t fun anymore- it keeps me isolated and future seeking and I just don’t want to live this way, but I do struggle with it.

Just putting my opinion there, take what you like and leave the rest
Also you’re the authority of you! You decide.

Thank you. I like how you took notes from the 12 step group. That’s helpful…well for now I’m enjoying not getting readings. Let’s make it a year and a half and see from there . Personally my view is as long as the addiction is under control. If I have one reading in five years that’s a success to me. But right now I just don’t think I need it.