I have to share this with you all as I've wrapped up my over a decade long struggle with getting readings but struggling to quit, but continuing to get readings.
I started seeing someone casually a little over 2 years ago, Lets call him J. I really liked him and I wanted to be serious with him so I started calling psychics to find out if it would ever turn serious. I didnt realize at the time that I was the reason why it wasnt going the direction I wanted it to.
I talked to everyone you can think of. The list is a lot longer than this but off the top of my head this is who I can remember:
Sincerity
Mystic Bell
Maureen 36
Lily Cade
Lotus of Light
Tajah on CP
Hilary80
Miss Toria
Rosedreams
Dzigns
Spiritminded
Marie Anna
Druid's glen tarot
celeste on bitwine
Dino
Cindy on bitwine
Spirit Messages on bitwine
Aquariunpsychic
Find your spirit
Cosmic Cards
Autumn Rivers
QOC18
Stephanie Theresa
Leila
Delia
Scott Angel
Angelic Dream
Goddess Erika purple ocean
Tattoo Psychic
Gail
seafiremoon
Sianne34
Ari
Nikki Rich
Psychic Lynn
Wild sweet orange
Pheonix burning
Anastasia Christine
Golden Dawn Tarot
Dawn Maree
Sweet Rosee
Danielle and Elizabeth from Kassamba
lady persephone
The list goes on and on. Have you all heard of self-fulfilling prophecies? Thats really the basis of my story.
Well after dating casually and having it go back and forth stuck in stall with J, on and off again binging on readings. I quit the readings and just began to focus on doing it my way and it started to get serious. I showed him who I really was instead of pretending to be someone else for whatever reason or another. In the middle of it going really well I decided to have a reading with Hipa on purple garden. This reader is where it all fell apart and I would never recommend anyone read with her or anyone else for that matter.
She gave me so many details about how well it would go if I gave it time and how great of a partner he would be. It was a positive reading and I was thrilled because it was lining up with what was going on at the time. I had another read with her that was the complete opposite a short time later. This is where the self fulfilling prophecy comes in. She told me he and I would break up abruptly and it would be because of another woman. We were so far away from each other and then we both lost our jobs last year during the pandemic I fell back into readings after doing so well. I couldnt get what Hipa said out of my head. She had just told me how great of a guy he was and that he needed to know we were soulmates. Coupled with a few readings that were similar I was a mess because it really seemed that she was right. I was insecure as hell! Things were going bad for me, my apartment was flooded I lost all of my furniture, I lost my job, I lost a lot last year, and with him having to move back to where hes from I felt like I was going to lose him too.
I spoke with Leila, she was extremely positive. One thing was off something I knew to be wrong. So this made me feel like she got it all wrong. I wanted to believe her and she was really optimistic that if I took it slow it would all work out.
Well he did end up ghosting me, just as Hipa predicted. But it wasnt for another woman. He was gone that evening to a family member's house, and when he didnt call me back when he got home I flipped out. I was so insecure and this had begun to be a regular thing for me at this point and I knew he was tired of it. I said so many mean things to him in text. We had just fought 2 weeks prior about the same thing. He didnt ghost me, I said it was over in text then I back tracked and he just never responded and never called and never texted me.
What I've realized about all of these readings is that a lot of what was being told me to was true, so I believed them when they made certain predictions. QOC18 Ive been talking to her for as long as I've been getting readings and let me just say this, she is highly accurate and inaccurate at the same time. She once told me so many details about a person and their situation and validated so much true information, but she left off the part that he was a degenerate, controlling and a swinger.
I say all of this to say that I dont know where these people get their information but I know its demonic and its meant for our destruction. We can agree to disagree if you dont feel the same but I've seen it with my own eyes. I was told so much information about J that seemed true and but so much information was left out and this has been a pattern with readers I know to have some ability. Ive been doing this for so I've called on almost every adult relationship I have had so I know what the outcomes were on all of those and this is a very real pattern. Still I couldnt stop getting readings.
After he left me I went into full blown panic mode. I didnt know why I was so angry with him all the time before all of this, I just knew that my memory was failing me and I couldnt explain some of the things I was going through at the time. I felt off. All the readers who worked so well for me all became highly inaccurate. No one was picking up what was going on, all of my readings were completely wrong. Everyone kept giving me different time frames of when he would return that came and went.
Leila said he just needed a break and that we would get it back under control. I was in a state of grief I've never felt before because I have never in my 34 years been in love with someone the way I love him. I lost it. I reached out to Leila from another account and she said flat out that it was over. That I needed to move on and that he didnt want anything to do with me. I called Anne and she said we would reunite just give it a 2. I called from another account she said it was completely over and that he was finished with me and to just move on and quit chasing him. I foolishly chatted with Hipa again from another account and remember the positive read she gave me in the beginning, NOW he was a complete liar and his ego was too much and that it would end the same way when he came back in 3-4 months. I was so confused.
People kept telling me he would return. Autumn rivers said it was completely over but to give it time and he would return. Goddess Erika who was normally spot on for me said he would return that it wasnt over he would be back rather quickly. I wouldnt have to wait long.
Well 6 months later he was still gone and ZERO plans on returning. I was nearing 7 months and nothing. Well she changed her tune about he and I months later. NOW he was gone but still cared but not focused on me and maybe he would come back, she was not sure.
I was broken in a way I hadnt been before. I stayed in bed as much as I could. This is the first time I felt that it was me who ruined my relationship. When I look back on it, he really was trying, hes not the most open and expressive person but as time grew he really tried to be. The part that hurt the worse is that I knew I really hurt him. I said so many things I didnt mean the day we broke up. I tried to take it all back, but it didnt work. Theres nothing worse than hurting someone the way I did him
This year april I decided I was done with waiting. I wanted to be with him and I was going to do it the way I wanted to. He was very very hesistant and rightfully so. I really gave it all I had to get him back. I had one final reading with Leila. Get this, she started this whole story off by telling me that we would end up together in love and it would work out and that he wanted this relationship with me last year. When I contacted her this year, she told me that nothing would have changed and that it would end the same way it did, that I needed someone better. The audacity! I felt betrayed and played and stupid for taking all of this so seriously.
So the moral of my story is, create your own future. If I had started this relationship with him showing up as who I really am, we would have been together a few months of meeting each other. While apart, I started therapy, I learned that I had a neurological condition that caused a lot of the issues I was having last year and it made it easier to understand why I havent felt normal in a very long time. Im a on seizure medication and I finally feel like what I think a normal person is supposed to feel like. Its taken a lot of work to get back into J's life, but Im back. But I had to do the work of healing myself from past trauma. Hes giving me a second chance. I cant say how it will go, but for so long he refused to speak with me. So this is a blessing.
I did the work to get my life back on track and I have to say that if I hadnt leaned on God and gotten my life right with Him I dont know where I would be. I worked through bible plans, I read scripture, I confided in my friends and family who helped me see this through and get my life on track. I prayed one day for the answers as to why I was struggling so much. A day later I went through some of my patient records and realized that I was diagnosed months ago but somehow this information was never shared with me. I think it was a miscommunication but I would have never found that information sitting right there in my face. Who knows how long I would have continued to suffer. I give it all to God. The need for instant gratification and not trusting in God or having a real relationship with Him was the root cause of all of my heartache. I kept turning to divination, psychic readings, astrology, law of attraction, manifestation and I never felt that the void was filled. I always felt empty. Im not saying that I dont still struggle but its a different type of struggle than before. Im happy and Im trusting that His plan for my life is better than mine and my desires. I pray that it continues to work out between J and I. He is the love of my life and Im lucky that hes allowing me back into his life, when I dont really deserve it for putting him through so much pain he didnt deserve. And if it doesnt then I know its not his will for my life, and there is something greater out there for me.
Im not telling anyone what they should do. I just hope someone is inspired by my story and decides to turn their life to God. I have been floundering in life since I was 22. I'll be 35 this year and this is the most clear I've ever been in my life. I allowed psychic readings to destroy my life and my relationships. No one knows who the spirits are that are communicating with the readers who actually have some ability. I dont think that the information we get is designed to improve our lives. I think it is all laced in deceit. I've had it happen too many times with my readings. I dont fault Anne or any one of the readers I blew my whole 401k on. Its not their fault. It was my choice and daily Im working to let go of my need to control things in my life I dont have control of. Instant gratification is a burden and It is a relief to give my burdens to God. Its a blessing.
Take Care!