Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent

Frustrated

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Dejatu:
I usually read these posts, but today I feel like somewhat sharing my own story. I have spent an insane amount of money on readings from 2017 to now. it’s an awful addiction that i am still trying to kick and instead of dialing another advisor, i figured i’d type this out instead.

Like many of us, I spiral after yet another another failed dating stage/relationship and it sends me into this shock of wanting to know if this person will ever return. I keep trying to tell myself that what is for me won’t pass me, and if someone is for me they most likely wouldn’t necessarily leave at the first signs of conflict. I am working with my therapist to really try and curb these impulsive behaviors but it’s honestly so hard. It also feels incredibly lonely because many people wouldn’t understand a psychic addiction.

I know it’s my core beliefs and abandonment wounds being activated but it’s so incredibly difficult being self aware and self destructive.

So if anyone else reads this and can use mutual support, a friend, someone to vent to, i’m here. this just sucks.

mei22:
Hey honey :-) thank you for reaching out to us in the community! I can understand that impulsive desire to get a read, and to figure out what’s going on with someone or your dynamic, but a book that I think is really helping me right now is called the power of now by Eckart Tolle. I probably butchered his name but anytime I feel impulsive I try and read at least a chapter of that book or I try and focus on something that grounds me into the now — in reality as much as we read and seek answers these people no matter if they’re empathic or not cannot predict the future! They also can’t totally pick up on someone.. think of how much “energy” exists.. and by just a name or description they somehow can tell us their every move and intention? No. If they weren’t fueled by income they would not be offering such a gift.. they may be able to get glimpses or have an idea of what may happen or what they feel and see but I have read with a lot of people all “the best” and no one has even been 90% correct it takes so much time and money to hold onto false hope and to get “clarity “. Some of these readers have just become really good at essentially reading the room.

I love to see that you have a therapist, because that is already a step in the right direction and putting that energy back into YOU. I too have abandonment issues. You know what I’m working on? Not abandoning myself. So that when I’m alone I’m all I need. No one can abandon me because I have myself. I take care of myself. I am full of love for myself and FOR others. I’m OK. You’re OK. No one can validate you through anything and all things pass.  Good and bad ~
I say all this to say what I remind myself that I’m taking my power back. If I consider myself strong, and I know, I can be strong enough to give life up to its master! Whatever you may believe in.. god, the universe.. I know it’s awful at times to know a lot of things. It’s exhausting. But it’s ok to know lots and to observe. Even if it’s observing yourself.

Also, something that helps me is I feel like even knowing too much information is almost like cheating in a way! Id rather get there when I get there. The POWER of being in the NOW. It’s all you got!

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