Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions > Psychic Readings That Came True

Create your own destiny...

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Amaranth:
Thanks so much for all of your feedback so far, guys.  I promise that unless overtly rude, I won't get offended and I really appreciate you guys taking the time to read thru my long post and leaving feedback.

As for the ex- yes, legally I can call the police and be escorted to the house and allowed to collect my things.  There are 2 reasons why I hold off- 1 is that it's a half million dollar home filled to the gills with 'things'.  Most of the furnishings are mine as well as all my clothes, personal items, and the 1 of my 2 cars that had to be left behind.  Staying with my parents I have absolutely nowhere to put the furnishings especially, and being currently unemployed, can't afford the amount of storage space I would need to hold it all for an indefinite amount of time.  As it stands, I'll have to end up selling off most of it. 

And 2- I only found out last year that my ex was institutionalized and diagnosed severe bipolar, and he is extremely unbalanced and suicidal.  My fear of showing up at the house in a traumatizing fashion may push him over the edge.  I know he is capable of it.  Early in our relationship he put a shotgun in his mouth and pulled the trigger.  By some miracle of God ( which caused him to embrace Christianity ), the gun jammed.

As much as what my ex did hurt me and almost destroyed me, I forgive him because I know he is unwell and not in his right mind.

On to the BFF- believe me guys- my common sense tells me that she is not a good person and doesn't even deserve my forgiveness.  I have given her thousands of dollars to help thru financial troubles and never once asked for any of it back.  She has issues of her own ( highly aggressive, anxious, goes to therapy regularly ) and I never once judged her for it nor turned my back on her.  So it hurts so bad that she couldn't give back what I gave in terms of emotional support.

Believe me, I started out with a lot of pain and sorrow- but every day it's replaced more and more with resent.  I don't want resent in my life either, so I've been focusing more on forgiveness and letting it go ( it's just been a bad month that makes you reflect on all those who aren't there for you ).

I'm definitely miffed at our mutual male friend for being so lax on her and not giving her what for, but I do know I can trust him and that last December when she tried to bad-mouth me and said he should watch his back around me, he told her to mind her own business and that she wasn't allowed to speak to him about me.  I just find it frustrating that he wants to twist my ex's head off ( the very person who was once his best friend and roommate for many years ) and yet that's the one person I forgive, but he doesn't feel the same way about my BFF.  It's still not worth losing his friendship as truthfully, he is the only person who has always stood by me, even when I've been in the wrong.  I just have severe, deep-rooted abandonment and rejection issues ( BPD ) and I have this paranoia she'll one day convince him to turn his back on me.

Anyway, there's a little bit more of the meat to the issues at hand.  Like every one here, I know in my head we are better than the people we call psychics about; it's our hearts that have a hard time letting go.  Part of us wants justice.  Part of us wants closure.  Part of us wants to know we're good enough to come back to.  In the long run, those are answers no psychic  can give us.  It's found within.

SomethingBetter:
First off...Happy Birthday!!!

Secondly, it does seem, at least to me, like Cookie accurately described something that is in the process of happening and you are able to adjust your response to him in an appropriate manner.

I mean, that is what we should be going to psychics for, if we go at all...for a heads up. Cookie gave you a heads up and now you are aware and can make a conscious decision about how to respond in return. And maybe ignoring his call for a bit will be best ;).

I know how it feels being betrayed by your best friend. I'm in the same boat myself :). But I realize this person is not on my level,  spiritually or emotionally, to be in my sphere. And you know...I feel great w/out her toxicity. It hurts now and again, but I'll be fine. And so will you. :)

I can understand how you're miffed at the mutual friend too. Again...I'm in the same boat. But as a man, he probably doesn't look at the situation in the same light as us women do.

Again, happy birthday to you, Amaranth and good luck :)

SunshineStarlette:
 Happy Birth Day!!!!!! hope you get to enjoy your bday

sunandmoon:
Not sure when your actual bday is, but Happy Birthday just the same!  :)

About toxic people, 2 years ago I met a girl on a board. We were in a similar situation and started emailing. I found her a little "off" at times, she'd fixate on the oddest things, she is extremely opinionated (possibly due to age). There were times I wasn't sure why I was talking to her but my life was such a mess! Last summer she went off on me in an incredibly horrible way. At that point I decided I didn't need someone so toxic in my life and stopped responding to her emails (she actually didn't email me for awhile after her blowup).

At the same time I was dealing with my ex's mother who is in a nutshell, a drama queen. Yes, I loved talking with her as it brought me "closer" to my ex (like that did me any good) but geez, some days it was just one thing after another with her and they were so predictable! Once she complained to a mutual friend that she hadn't come over to visit in awhile, and that friend told her she was too negative and she was trying to avoid negative people in her life. Of course the ex's mom called me and complained about that - while I was appalled that our friend said it it her, inside I absolutely got it! Once I started to see my bf, I really didn't want to spend an hour or more a day talking to her and have really cut down on the calls.

I feel a bit guilty as is my nature to do, but I do feel as if huge weights have been lifted off me! It's hard to let go of people that have been good to you in the past, or have helped you, but if this girl is showing her true colors and it's not in your favor, maybe you have to graciously back away. I know it's hard to let go, and you feel betrayed but it is really healthier for you.

BTW you mentioned BPD (and I will edit this later if you want). We believed my ex had it - high functioning. Once I researched it, a lot of his mannerisms made total sense. I actually thought maybe he was bipolar at one point but I completely offended his sister when I asked her if he had issues in school or something, so I never brought it up again to anyone in the family. If you can, I would surely do counseling even if it's only for the issues for your old gf!

I do wish you all the best! <hugs>

Amaranth:
@SunandMoon:

Thanks for sharing your experience!  I hope you have some better luck when it comes to the people you deal with in your life- I wish that for all of us.

As for BPD, it has a core, central definition: 'chronic feelings of emptiness', and it can vary in extremity.  People with the worst cases tend to be manipulative and compulsive liars, and others are dissociative and some seem to be removed from reality ( good example is that famous case where the girl was convinced all her bones had turned to powder and kept requesting x-rays, believing she no longer had a skeleton ).  Typically, symptoms are triggered by being abandoned or rejected, whether real or perceived.

I did see a therapist already ( especially after what my BFF did, because I just couldn't handle another huge abandonment/rejection so soon after my ex ).  Luckily,  they determined l already have mine pretty well under control: symptoms only appear when I am in end a prolonged period of stress and trauma, especially when I have been rejected by someone I loved so much.  Changing my patterns  of thinking has really been liberating, and really, no one can tell I have a 'personality disorder' unless I tell them.  Of course, once in awhile it creeps up on me, like this month where I'm suddenly worried our mutual male friend is 'going to leave me behind, too'.  That's why I'm thinking of ignoring his phone calls for awhile actually, because I don't want to have an emotional outburst based on my paranoia that he is turning away, and then therefore, I push him away and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

As I have mentioned before, most Empaths are BPD.  You can find several articles about this online linking the two :)

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