I have shared a lot of myself with this forum for awhile. While I originally joined the forum to discuss psychics, I have found that I have been helped personally by many of you, and I'd like to think that my stories have also helped everyone in some way. At this point in time, I feel that it is important for me to also share some advice provided to me by one of my favorite readers.
I apologize in advance... this will be long, but I hope you all read it...
Some of you already know that I have started life coaching sessions with Kisha (Aries Intuition). This is her actual job, and she had suggested that I get some life coaching sessions because of certain things I have gone through in the past 8 years of my life. We've had a couple of sessions, and yesterday we finally tackled my most important relationship and also most damaging relationship (with the father of my children). We then discussed how this impacts how I deal with my issues with C, which led to a discussion of my psychic addiction.
What I want to share with all of you are some things that Kisha told me about calling psychics. Kisha told me that anyone who calls a psychic should be doing so for insight. She said that we should not be asking for timeframes because that’s really not even what a psychic should provide. A reading should prepare you for what’s to come, but you cannot stop living your life simply based upon what a psychic tells you is going to happen. Kisha said that the best way to handle a reading is to take notes and basically forget about what was said. You should use the reading to determine what course of action you will take when the predicted outcome comes to pass. She was concerned for me because she said that I have been consumed by this thing with C, and that I have basically put all my energy into waiting for him. Am I living my life? Sure, I go to work and go home to my children… nothing has changed in that respect. However, she was correct in that I don’t even look at life the same way anymore. She said that I am closed off to any new opportunities, and I can’t even see certain things that are right in front of me.
Kisha advised me to live life as if I never had a reading. She advises that anyone who reads with a psychic do this. She said that we must make our own decisions based on current REALITY, and not based upon what a psychic sees coming for us. The outcome WILL still happen the way it’s supposed to. You are not changing the outcome by focusing on what’s happening here and now. Kisha asked me to imagine that I had never had a reading. C ended things in January. He has now been gone for almost 3 months, and he has not initiated contact within that time. She asked me what I would be doing right now if I had never had a reading… if I took everything that C told me when he ended things at face value. I told her that I would have no choice but to move on. Exactly, she said. And if he were intent on coming back, he still would, and it would be my choice to accept him or not. Kisha has told me to admit that just as it’s possible for him to come back, it’s possible that he won’t. I need to be ok with either possibility. She does not change her prediction at all. She still sees him coming back, but she has told me that the only healthy way to approach this is to absolutely accept that there is someone better for me out there, that way I’ll be in control when he does return. I’ll be emotionally stable and prepared enough to turn my back if I have to.
The best thing I could do is share this advice with you all. Kisha asked me if I could commit to end my readings. She stressed that it’s absolutely my choice to do so, and I was not obligated to say I could do it if I am unable to. I told her that I would do that. She said that if I want a reading, I can only get one once he has contacted me, but at this point I am not to call anymore psychics. I’m done focusing on timeframes and revisiting my readings on a daily basis to feel some sort of reassurance. I cannot live this way. This morning I woke up and got ready for work as I usually do, but I had to change something. The endless thoughts that run through my head had to change. Instead of hoping and praying that today is the day that Chance comes forward, I accepted that I have control. I allowed myself to accept the fact that I will be just fine if he does not return. Do I still want him to come back? HECK YEAH! Am I going to put all my money, energy, emotions, and time into this effort? Absolutely not. Kisha made a point that really resonated with me. She told me that relationships have to balance out. Yes, this is obvious and common sense. But she pointed out that I am basically still in a relationship with someone who’s not here. She said that I am giving 100% of myself to this man even though he’s not even talking to me. I’m giving so much, and he’s giving nothing. This basically sets the tone for the relationship if he were to return. I am staying emotionally and physically committed to a man who walked away. She asked me, “S, if the tables were turned, if you had hurt him in some way, would he be doing the same for you? Would he wait for you no matter what? Would he accept your silence?” I, of course, responded that I didn’t think so. She said this should be the stuff I focus on. Not the readings, not the future, not his return… but my role in all of this. Focusing on reality doesn’t serve to build resentment because I shouldn’t start hating him or anything like that, but it will allow me to stop being so consumed by a fantasy.
He will come back, but my life cannot be on hold until he does. It can’t. Neither can yours. We can sit here and lie to ourselves and say that we are living, and that we’re ok, but, honestly, getting constant readings is not living. We can be hung up on our guys, we can cry, get angry, scream, but we cannot live based upon a future that someone else sees for us. Let’s create a future with paths and choices we get to make for ourselves. If C comes back, I’ll get to decide if he’s the type of person I want to let back into my life. If he doesn’t come back, I can decide to allow new men into my life who are truly worthy and who can give me exactly what I give them. Relationships are full of ups and downs, that’s normal, but relationships don’t work like this. We cannot be on hold for men who give us nothing. The right person WILL reciprocate. Maybe these men aren’t ready now, maybe they’ll be ready tomorrow or 2 years from now, but who cares? They’re not doing anything at the moment, and we need to accept what is being shown.
I truly hope I have not offended anyone by sharing this. I just can’t sit back and see so many amazing people in so much pain. Some of us have been through these bouts of desperation where the only thing that can fill the void of missing the person we love is getting a reading. That is torture. I have to start living in the present, and my present shows that C has walked away. I need to let go… not of my hope, but of my insistence. If it’s meant to happen it will.
I will remain active in the forum because I have grown to care about so many people here and because I have read with so many psychics in the past year. I won’t litter my posts with negativity or preachy advice, I promise.
