Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
my lesson - Men who drive you to call
HornetKick:
--- Quote from: maggs30 on September 27, 2020, 07:18:55 PM ---Thanks for your insight. I know that mine is 100% anxiety. This man has helped clean my house, prune my trees, cooks me dinner. He tells me how special he thinks I am. But let him not call me babe or not text for a few hours and I'm a mess. Its insane and QofCs has yelled at me plenty of times that its my anxiety and I know it is so stop it lmao. Of course mine was caused by being married to a narcissist for 26 years. Stay strong ladies.
--- End quote ---
Well you do have a reason for the anxiety. It's not like you were born this way, you were driven to this by a man. Men keep you so anxious, vibrating and vigilantly on edge around his issues and his f'edup-ness. I get it. I've watched many gf's go through this b.s.
russianred:
--- Quote from: Kkbich2014 on September 27, 2020, 09:39:11 PM ---It’s a fine balance between recognizing the red flags with men and our own insecurity and anxiety...
--- End quote ---
It really is. In my case, I almost NEVER felt truly secure with this guy, but I told myself and the readers told me that this was just my anxiety. I have a history of sabotaging things too soon due to my anxiety so I did not want that to happen again. This desire turned into me calling at least one per week and often multiple times per week to be told that this guy was normal and I was the one with the problem. He didn't seem to prioritize me? His plans for the future sometimes didn't seem to include me? He would go from proclaiming his love for me to acting distant? Readers were only too happy to say that all of that was because... fill in the blank with anything except the truth, which was that this guy was not ready for anything serious. They can be very convincing, and now I truly do think that they intentionally keep you in bad situations in order to "hook" you. If occasional readings are a way of ensuring you don't go off the deep end in an otherwise awesome relationship, that's great, but they got me so far away from my own intuition and instincts with this man and I have nothing to show for it but credit card debt. Can you tell I'm upset and hurt?! The only thing I will say in the readers' defense is that if they had told me the truth all along, I'm not sure I would have accepted it, so I guess they were just doing what I asked of them.
maggs30:
--- Quote from: russianred on September 27, 2020, 11:18:02 PM ---
--- Quote from: Kkbich2014 on September 27, 2020, 09:39:11 PM ---It’s a fine balance between recognizing the red flags with men and our own insecurity and anxiety...
--- End quote ---
It really is. In my case, I almost NEVER felt truly secure with this guy, but I told myself and the readers told me that this was just my anxiety. I have a history of sabotaging things too soon due to my anxiety so I did not want that to happen again. This desire turned into me calling at least one per week and often multiple times per week to be told that this guy was normal and I was the one with the problem. He didn't seem to prioritize me? His plans for the future sometimes didn't seem to include me? He would go from proclaiming his love for me to acting distant? Readers were only too happy to say that all of that was because... fill in the blank with anything except the truth, which was that this guy was not ready for anything serious. They can be very convincing, and now I truly do think that they intentionally keep you in bad situations in order to "hook" you. If occasional readings are a way of ensuring you don't go off the deep end in an otherwise awesome relationship, that's great, but they got me so far away from my own intuition and instincts with this man and I have nothing to show for it but credit card debt. Can you tell I'm upset and hurt?! The only thing I will say in the readers' defense is that if they had told me the truth all along, I'm not sure I would have accepted it, so I guess they were just doing what I asked of them.
--- End quote ---
They certainly kept me in that same loop with my ex bf for a year. Once he cheated they started with he doesn't love her. She's convenient etc etc. Thankfully I walked and yelled at a few psychics for the bs. Mostly CP psychics. But it took all my strength to convince myself I'm no ones second choice.
russianred:
--- Quote from: maggs30 on September 28, 2020, 12:47:32 AM ---They certainly kept me in that same loop with my ex bf for a year. Once he cheated they started with he doesn't love her. She's convenient etc etc. Thankfully I walked and yelled at a few psychics for the bs. Mostly CP psychics. But it took all my strength to convince myself I'm no ones second choice.
--- End quote ---
"Loop" is the perfect word. I would feel an unsettling feeling, then call and get my reassurances from these strangers, then back to something else happening that would give me that same feeling. I would love to give some of these readers the outcome and ask them why they, as supposed clairvoyants and empaths, didn't see it coming but I have no doubt that they would take no responsibility and somehow manage to make me the problem.
maggs30:
--- Quote from: russianred on September 28, 2020, 12:54:44 AM ---
--- Quote from: maggs30 on September 28, 2020, 12:47:32 AM ---They certainly kept me in that same loop with my ex bf for a year. Once he cheated they started with he doesn't love her. She's convenient etc etc. Thankfully I walked and yelled at a few psychics for the bs. Mostly CP psychics. But it took all my strength to convince myself I'm no ones second choice.
--- End quote ---
"Loop" is the perfect word. I would feel an unsettling feeling, then call and get my reassurances from these strangers, then back to something else happening that would give me that same feeling. I would love to give some of these readers the outcome and ask them why they, as supposed clairvoyants and empaths, didn't see it coming but I have no doubt that they would take no responsibility and somehow manage to make me the problem.
--- End quote ---
Yep with the ex it was always he's still coming back, sorry free will, or you didn't follow advice. Thankfully after all that bs I was able to cut back to who I can truly trust. None of the ones I trust told me why I would walk away but they all said I would. Except Yona. With her it was the famous you have a choice.
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