Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
my lesson - Men who drive you to call
russianred:
It's been written here many times but I didn't 100% accept it until now: a man who drives you to read more than what would be truly for "entertainment purposes" is NOT the guy for you.
I binged in January of this year wondering if we would reconnect. We did in the spring. I broke up with him last night after he admitted to me that, in contrast to many heavy things he told me in the past, he's now come to the conclusion he doesn't want anything serious now or for the foreseeable future with me or anyone.
Throughout our time together in the spring and summer, I continued to seek out reassurance from readers that things were on the right track between us and he was emotionally ready for a serious relationship. I always knew deep down that things weren't adding up but since he would always dismiss my concerns, I would ask readers for insight. My gut TOLD me that his words and actions didn't always meet, and he vacillated between affection and distance, but I wanted excuses and explanations.
I want all of my money back. He wasn't worth it at all. If I feel I need to navigate a relationship in the future using psychics, I now know that's a major red flag.
Kkbich2014:
I’m sorry this happened to you... I know how devastating it is when it gets to this point. Our insecurities drive us to call. The idea that we can control the situation if we just know how it will unfold. I’ve been at the point where you are in many failed relationships. That feeling of... did I really just waste all this money for it to end up this way? I hope with time you heal and that we all develop healthier relationship habits. The readings block intuition I feel and keep us in something the gut initially told us isn’t right for whatever reason. It will get better. Keep yourself distracted and keep your head up. You have the answers you need and it’ll start to feel like a big relief and a fresh start in time.
court1130:
Yep and just as you said, 9 times out of 10 we already know the answers to our questions.
russianred:
--- Quote from: Kkbich2014 on September 27, 2020, 01:29:13 PM ---I’m sorry this happened to you... I know how devastating it is when it gets to this point. Our insecurities drive us to call. The idea that we can control the situation if we just know how it will unfold. I’ve been at the point where you are in many failed relationships. That feeling of... did I really just waste all this money for it to end up this way? I hope with time you heal and that we all develop healthier relationship habits. The readings block intuition I feel and keep us in something the gut initially told us isn’t right for whatever reason. It will get better. Keep yourself distracted and keep your head up. You have the answers you need and it’ll start to feel like a big relief and a fresh start in time.
--- End quote ---
Yep! The money is a big bummer. "Did I really just waste all this money for it to end up this way?" is right. The false sense of control and trust is also right. Because the readers would totally tell me if they saw something bad coming... oh wait, no, they didn't. ::)
I forgot to post this in my earlier post... not ONE reader in the last few months predicted this coming. They offered excuses and reasons for why he didn't always seem to prioritize me or my feelings, why his affections were inconsistent, etc. What is the point of readings if they can't even see something big like this happening?
The second that I start craving excessive reassurance from readers with a future guy is the second I actually acknowledge to myself that there might be something wrong.
What makes me sick is that if I were to call now (I'm not), I'm sure I would be told that I did all sorts of things wrong for this to happen, which is absolutely untrue. I was the most patient and understanding girlfriend ever, partly because readers were encouraging me to be and to ignore red flags.
russianred:
--- Quote from: court1130 on September 27, 2020, 01:45:16 PM ---Yep and just as you said, 9 times out of 10 we already know the answers to our questions.
--- End quote ---
Yes, when you think about it, we're actually paying to be told information COUNTER to what we suspect, because if we didn't suspect something was off, we probably wouldn't be calling in the first place (unless it's truly a reading for entertainment, which I used to do before I got involved in this nightmare with this guy).
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