Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent

Letting go old energy so new people can come in

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Watercolors:

--- Quote from: Yaris123 on August 14, 2020, 09:01:10 PM ---I get annoyed hearing this because I feel that the only way I can let go of the past is if someone new comes into my life because it would help me see that perhaps theres another chance of having a meaningful connection with someone

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Why would a new person come into your life and want to open their heart to you if they knew you were, not just in love with someone else, but waiting for them to come back? How awful would it be if you did meet someone, they began falling in love with you, only to be hurt when your ex decides to come back around and you can't resist the attention?

Don't expect someone to do the work for you by being the one to make you feel better. Do the work for yourself so that you can attract a better relationship and give it a fair chance.

Calleronhiatus:

--- Quote from: Yaris123 on August 14, 2020, 09:01:10 PM ---A couple of readers  have told me that they see new people coming into my love life but I need to let go of the past first. Has anyone heard the same thing from readers? I get annoyed hearing this because I feel that the only way I can let go of the past is if someone new comes into my life because it would help me see that perhaps theres another chance of having a meaningful connection with someone . I feel that the reason that im having a hard time letting go is because I think and fear that I will never the same connection that I had with my ex.

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I personally believe you have to be ready and open for someone new. If you are living in the past then you aren’t present to focus on the future. I understand that letting go is hard but if you put your hopes in another person then you aren’t ever going to be truly happy. Happiness is an inside job. Sending you love. As soon as you are able to find happiness within, things will start to fall into place. ❤️

Bean82:
I have been told this too recently. In fact they say I am on the tail end of letting the past go, which I feel. What I realized is that I didn’t want the person back; I wanted the relationship I thought I had with the person. It’s easy to recall the good times, but I tried to remember how I felt often and it wasn’t always good (anxiety, frustration, etc). Why would I want to be with someone that made me feel that way? Also, last Sunday I was him and his girlfriend when I went out for breakfast and he didn’t look that great and she looked like a grump and had an angry sounding voice. Childish I know, but it definitely helped me move on because he’s with that as opposed to my smiley self :) I agree with the self help and putting yourself first. Where I live the gyms are open and I started CrossFit as something new and out of my comfort zone and it’s been a life changer (still waiting on all my muscles to appear!). I made several new connections that are leading to friendships and have something that I’m excited to go to almost everyday. Maybe find a new activity that wasn’t part of your life with POI. Maybe that will help clear your energy. Sending positive vibes you’re way!

britbrat:

--- Quote from: Yaris123 on August 14, 2020, 09:01:10 PM ---A couple of readers  have told me that they see new people coming into my love life but I need to let go of the past first. Has anyone heard the same thing from readers? I get annoyed hearing this because I feel that the only way I can let go of the past is if someone new comes into my life because it would help me see that perhaps theres another chance of having a meaningful connection with someone . I feel that the reason that im having a hard time letting go is because I think and fear that I will never the same connection that I had with my ex.

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Have you tried Leanne? She is pretty good with people who are going to be in your life. She might be biased if you ask about an ex, but she will let you know if they will be coming back. I know she can judge situations sometimes and it’s annoying.

maggs30:
Leanne described the first time I met my now bf 10 months before I met him. What I was wearing how he would act and she told me that was when my life would start feeling right.

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