Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent

Ruined confidence

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aries1995:
I know there are many posts like this but I just feel like I need to vent so here goes...

I've always been very confident in myself and if things haven't worked out with a guy I've liked I've thought its his loss and moved on. I've always liked getting readings but I would get maybe two a year max. After my ex finished with my with no real explanation I turned to readings and eventually became obsessed with 99% of the psychics saying he's definitely coming back to me and the other 1% saying he won't come back but he still has feelings for me. I would call two psychics a day at my worst point. After 8 months waiting while he was dating every other girl he wanted I finally realised he wasn't coming back and he didn't have feelings for me anymore.  I'm now seeing a new guy (still early days) and he's actually amazing but the whole reading experience has ruined my confidence so much that if I think we've spoken less one day compared to another I start thinking he's lost interest and start panicking and get more readings. I start questioning my looks and my personality. It's turned into this vicious cycle and I don't know how to stop it

Kayrid:
Sorry you are struggling.  Try focusing on self love.  Meditating.  Managing your thoughts.  It takes a lot of effort to manage thoughts but so worth it when you get the hang of it.  Meditating and self love may feel forced at first if you have never done them, but they help so much... for me meditating especially.  Don’t let fear get the best of you!  Hang in there :)

jas:
If you want to stop you must remember.....this is an addiction and you must treat it as such.  It is hard work.  Addicts go through physical with drawal.  I have to distract myself to stay away from reading.  When I really feel the urge I will go outside for walk and hope that it passes. 

I hope you feel better soon.

maggs30:
I completely understand. My new guy is so good to me and if I even think he's pulling back slightly I freak out. The only thing that has really stopped me binging is really thinking about my past with psychics. How many got it wrong in the past? All the fairytales that never came through. Why would I call any of them again? I trust 2 or 3 for very specific things out of hundreds I called. I just spent 5 hours with my guy. 5 hours and 3 were spent talking about our ex's. Specifically the ex's we have to go parent with. His insecurities and him baring them to me.... Priceless. One reader nailed this. QofCs told me 3 days ago he is at war with a woman connected to a child. His heart is open and his guard is down towards you. Yep verified today. Anne is my rock but I have even cut down to once every 2 weeks with her.

Anytime you feel an urge think of all that were wrong. Know that calling them again they will most likely be wrong again. Find a solid reader or two. Anne told me a few weeks ago that my anxiety will push people away and I know I'm doing it so stop it lol. She was 100% right. Be open and honest with the new guy and expect nothing less in return.

Smiley1:
OMG you are so right I cannot bother to call anyone because they have all been wrong, I sometimes think "oh, I'll get a reading" then go NO I HAVE MY FAVOURITES I am riding nobody else I will wait, I do not need instant gratification.



--- Quote from: maggs30 on August 06, 2020, 01:23:19 AM ---I completely understand. My new guy is so good to me and if I even think he's pulling back slightly I freak out. The only thing that has really stopped me binging is really thinking about my past with psychics. How many got it wrong in the past? All the fairytales that never came through. Why would I call any of them again? I trust 2 or 3 for very specific things out of hundreds I called. I just spent 5 hours with my guy. 5 hours and 3 were spent talking about our ex's. Specifically the ex's we have to go parent with. His insecurities and him baring them to me.... Priceless. One reader nailed this. QofCs told me 3 days ago he is at war with a woman connected to a child. His heart is open and his guard is down towards you. Yep verified today. Anne is my rock but I have even cut down to once every 2 weeks with her.

Anytime you feel an urge think of all that were wrong. Know that calling them again they will most likely be wrong again. Find a solid reader or two. Anne told me a few weeks ago that my anxiety will push people away and I know I'm doing it so stop it lol. She was 100% right. Be open and honest with the new guy and expect nothing less in return.

--- End quote ---

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